Dublin, Oslo, Amsterdam, New York City, Hong Kong, Madrid, Toronto, Cairo, Budapest, Mumbai, Stockholm
Dublin: Do you believe in soulmates?
No, I don’t think so. I find the idea of soulmates very confining. It’s romantic, and often comforting, to think that two people are destined to be together, but I just don’t think it’s true. There are too many people in the world for each of us to have one soulmate, and I think anyone can break up with anyone at any time and find someone later in life that makes them just as happy.
Oslo: What keeps you warm?
Knowing that there are really great people in my life who care makes everything better. I often trivialize good moments, and starting a video blog helped me remember how much I laugh on a daily basis and how incredibly lucky I am to have such a loving family. Honest conversations with friends and family about anything make me the happiest. Whether we’re laughing at some stupid joke or having a serious discussion about my depression, as long as we’re both comfortable and the conversation feels genuine, I'm happy.
Amsterdam: What is your ideal night out?
I’m not very picky about going out, but I guess the question says, “ideal”. I love seeing concerts, so I guess seeing a band live that we both love, some good pizza, and maybe parking our butts on some hill and talking about life sounds pretty great to me. Honestly, spending time with the person is more important than what we spend time doing, if that makes sense.
New York City: What gets you up in the morning?
Honestly, it’s the voice in my head screaming, “Stop being a piece of shit.” What drives me to go out and face society everyday is mostly about people’s expectations and not failing them, more than me wanting to go out and do something with my life. It’s more out of fear and necessity than anything else, I think. My goal, though, is to eventually wake up wanting to accomplish certain goals, to wake up with some self-driven purpose.
Hong Kong: What is your earliest childhood memory?
I don’t remember very much of my childhood, and this might sound very sad, but my earliest childhood memory, I think, is the memory I have of playing tag with my friends and looking around wondering why they would decide to be friends with me. I’ve told that story a lot as the first time I remember feeling that I was worth less than everybody else in my class. It’s scary that my earliest childhood memory is of feeling ugly and fat, but it is what it is. I have other memories of being awake during nap time and not wanting to sleep, but other than that, nothing sticks out in my mind.
Madrid: Describe your aesthetic?
I would say that my aesthetic is desperately trying to be cool, but never really being cool, and then periodically saying, “fuck it.” I’m that girl who tries to find bands that aren’t popular, force myself to like them (which I sometimes do), and then forget they exist, while simultaneously being way too fucking proud of my obsession with Demi Lovato, the Jonas Brothers, and High School Musical. I’m just a mess, to be honest.
Toronto: Describe your ideal partner.
They are kind, compassionate, and honest. We can discuss almost anything, completely openly. I don’t ever feel unsafe, judged, or uncomfortable around them, and they make me laugh so incredibly hard. Ideally, we would hold the same beliefs and plans for our future in terms of children and building a family.
Cairo: What’s your favorite quote?
“Your life unfolds in proportion to your courage.”
I saw it on a tumblr post and really resonated with it.
Also, “A thing is a thing, not what is said of that thing.” which was in Birdman which I loved.
Budapest: What tattoo do you want?
If I ever get a tattoo I would want a little tattoo on the inside of my wrist, maybe a wave or something as a symbol of “keep going”. Also, swimming was one of the only things I had during high school to get me through, and to this day represents peace, calm, and oneness for me.
Mumbai: What is your favorite scent?
That smell of freshly baked goods at home. That first moment you smell whatever it is you made in the oven, and you remember that you get to eat it in about 20 minutes. That’s the best scent.
Stockholm: What scares you?
The idea that anything can happen in the future, terrifies me. Just not knowing what’s going to happen, not knowing if I make something out of myself, not knowing when i’m going to die, not knowing when my parents and friends are going to die. Not knowing whether I’ll make it to age 30 and have kids like I want to. Just not knowing things and not being certain of anything in my life is really hard for me, and I regularly have anxiety issues and mental breakdowns because I overthink “what if” situations. I had a 30 minute discussion with myself and a bit of a mental crisis the other day, just thinking about my parents’ deaths in the future. It’s really scary.
This is so fucking long, but it was cool to do. Thanks for the Q’s <3
