took your advice and did the 𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆,
just being young and 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝.
date: may 24 - may 30.
trigger warning: mentions of death.
luck has always been on his side, but when he’s told he is lucky to be alive and that he is expected to make a full recovery, siwon finds himself unable to agree. he should feel lucky he didn’t lose his life in the attack, but instead it is fear that wraps around his heart until he feels he can no longer breathe. the reality of the danger he put himself in by joining a gang finally sinks in, as does the realization he could’ve left his sister without both her parents and her brother. fear quickly turns into guilt, and he wonders if he should leave amaranthine when he gets out of the hospital, before something worse can happen to him.
something he can’t recover from.
as desperate as he is for money, putting his life on the line doesn’t seem worth it, and he’s going to run out of excuses to tell siyeon sooner or later. if she’s suspicious of the story he tells her, she doesn’t say so, but maybe that’s because she’s too busy wetting his hospital gown with her tears. “sorry i missed your birthday,” he mumbles with a weak smile. she responds by hitting him in the chest and calling him an idiot, only to apologize profusely a second later when he grimaces in pain. he laughs at that, but soon realizes just how exhausted he still is, even after weeks of being asleep. and with the promise he’ll make it up to her as soon as he’s released, he feels himself drifting off to sleep again.
siyeon returns the next day. she picks up a note that he doesn’t remember being there the previous day and smirks as she hands it over to him. get well soon ♡, it reads. “kai came to visit you yesterday.” and before he can say anything, she tells him, “he didn’t want to wake you up, so he left you this note.” his sister only laughs when he turns his head in an attempt to hide the blush that dusts his cheeks and he tries to reason with his heart that kai is just being a good friend and there is no need for it to beat as erratically as it does. after all, boys like kai don’t fall for boys like him.
another four days come and go, and it doesn’t take long for him to get bored of being stuck in a hospital bed, even if he spends most of his time asleep. seojin and iseul are faces he grows accustomed to seeing on a daily basis, especially the former, who he is convinced hasn’t left the hospital since the incident. he doesn’t dare ask if the man has even slept since then, scared of the answer he might get. a question he does ask is who else had been injured and feels his stomach turn at the names that are given to him: hana and somin.
he pays the women a visit, despite that he isn’t too familiar with either, and leaves both of them with sketches to make their rooms seem a little less depressing and the promise he’ll return another day, using the excuse he needs to practice drawing with his left hand more. it is half a lie, but neither of them need to know that he feels lonely and trapped every time he returns to his own room, and that the pristine white walls of the hospital remind of the day his parents died. and if his signature smile falters for the first time in seven years, no one is there to witness it.
it is after hyunae visits him, he realizes the family he’s been longing for has been in front of him all along. amaranthine has shown him nothing but kindness in the past couple of days—no, in the past few weeks. they took care of him without hesitation, worrying and fearing for his well being despite only having known him for months, and it is that realization that has tears flowing down his face in the dead of night. but he smiles. home has been an intangible concept since his parents passed away and after years of searching, he’s finally found a place where he belongs.
