Begin Dating-Sim minigame.
Oh this is brilliant. Great way to start a post, I must say!
Aaaand perfect characters to do it too! We’re on a roll here!!
Let’s see, the bars measure heart, monocle (I guess intelligence), present (generosity?), lips (attractiveness?) and…. CHEESE!!! (FOR EVERYONE!!) (Shut it sheogorath!)
You are a Mannerly Highbrow, a well-polished, aristocratic suitor. You are gentlemanly and virile, in the prime of your life.
Oh definitely virile yes! He has the VIM so high it doesn’t exist !!
Why, it seems this coquettish young hen has piqued the glint of your dashing ogle. Those flickering lamps, that porcelain face… your various meters palpitate with simulated excitement. Courtship is imminent.
Y-y-young HEN ??? Could this distinguished gentleman be any more creepy ???
I can’t with these metaphors.
You decide to give the woman a gift
Oh good, I can’t see that going badly, not at all!
A FANCY SANTA!?!?!! REALLY?? Those fuckers are creepy! Do not want!
Also you have a Suckle Receptacle? Give it to her!! It’s the second most powerfull thing in your inventory! After the bust of course (Nothing beats the bust)
You consult your SWAG REGISTRY and select from it a beautiful FANCY SANTA.
An excellent choice!
She gains a few HUSBAND-MATERIAL PIPS on her BROACH OF THE CHAPERON’S DERELICTION.
It is time to select a COURTSHIP ACTION.
Swag Registry ?? Are you kidding me, Highbrow?? Also NB what are you doing, don’t be so easily swayed!!
I had forgotten about those strange relics! The fuck is a CHAPERON’S DERELICTION. ?!?!!
Those commands, I can’t … I’m done.
(Lady Laycock?!?!) (what?!?!)
You browse through a list of thousands of rather obscure sounding commands.
You pause at one that sounds intriguing, although you don’t have the foggiest idea what it means.
You decide to select it with caution.
"Put nebuchadnezzar out to grass"
Oh god, I may just have a dirty mind, but I think you really shouldn't do that, Highbrow!
(Poor highbrow, he seems as oblivious to the world as PI)
