September 20th 2019 - 11:56pm
Tonight I write here. I don’t know why here but just here because here I have years of here. It’s the only place that’s constant and does what I need. It serves its purpose.
Depersonalization. That’s the scariest thing to feel and that is what I am feeling right now.
This will end well? Badly? I have no fcking clue. All I know is that I try to be a decent citizen of this fcking world. So fucking selfless that no matter what I do I appear selfish. I’m so numb.
The present is now. It knocks on my window every day I wake up. I want to live it, taste it and feel it. I am lost and I need to feel alive again but I am so lost and I cannot keep letting my instincts defend me from immense emotional pain.
This is the time when I have to feel and feeling is my favorite thing to do. I won’t keep living in the passenger seat. I want to feel... quiero volver a casa...
*’Te extraño mi Sol ☀️Cambiarías todo para mi si pudiera tenerte a mi lado.’