It’s Matt who drives the van back home after the show. Jason passed out as soon as the van was loaded up; while Vaughn’s migraine prevented him from getting behind the wheel. Everyone else had to sleep, and I was the only one without a license. I sat in the front passengers seat, legs curled underneath me. Light snores harmonized in the back, and the streetlights blurred. I felt defeated.
The summer over, and the half boys would be getting back to college, leaving me stuck back home to finish high school alone. Drew Boyd was still a senior, but he had moved to the town over the year before because of some “issues”. Adam Curro and Zach Contreras applied for the same school, which was great for them. Adam, despite being younger than me, graduated early. Matt planned on hanging around; then, he opted in to going where Jason goes three hours north. While Vaughn and I would pretty much skype each other everyday, I would rather he be at his window next door when I needed him.
I didn’t really get play like I wanted to tonight. The venue was crowded with a small stage. It was impossible for all of to be on stage. Instead of getting to perform at least five good songs, we settled for three good songs and two that we had never practiced acoustically. Vaughn was stressed because he had to get home, pack, and sleep so he could leave tomorrow. He played the first song with the wrong bass, and it wasn’t until I got on stage he realized that he was forcing himself to play left handed. Jason forgot the words to a song; Zach forgot his mallet bag and almost smashed up his trumpet. Still, my nervousness and irritable didn’t help calm everyone.
Everything with band had gotten so stable within this past summer. We had moved from switching practices spaces to settling to Zach’s house to actually renting a practice room on the regular. We had enough solid songs for at least an EP. But with all this change externally, we probably wouldn’t be able to do something like this until fall break; if we planned it in advance. The thought of not playing with my boys and not having them around was affecting me. I didn’t want to lose any of them to…growing up.