Yeah, my mom says she raised me to be spoiled. But everyone else around me, as well as myself, always thought I was an easy child. I’m an only child, I don’t say much, don’t ask for much, and always stayed to myself. Call me an angel if you want, but in all seriousness, like I really never asked for anything. Even when I was little. Never asked. I don’t know, I just always did stuff by myself because when I did ask for favor, aka mom’s unhelpful assistance, or even if I could have something I really wanted, I either just never received or she just fucked up the little things I did ask for once in a very blue moon. I remember one year for Christmas, all that I asked for and all that I really wanted was aaa batteries for my MP3 player. Like the big ass pack. Come Christmas morning, I wake up and open my presents and had got all this stuff. STUFF. You know, the materialist thing. The things I could care less about. Running through my mind after all the presents are torn apart is “where the fuck are my batteries.” Call me ungrateful, but when I wrote my list down for Santa all that was up there was aaa batteries. I didn’t ask for anything else. At that point I was getting a little edgy. Then she walks towards me with a pack of batteries in her hand. Boy my eyes lit up, but was lit up even faster into bursting flames afterwards. She hands me the batteries…. Oh yeah this bitch must’ve been trying to be funny. Bitch got me double a batteries. WHAT THE FUCK WOMAN. Because at this point I can stop pretending for a moment that I believe in Santa and blame the stupidity on you. I thought I made it simple…. TRIPLE A BATTERIES! TRIPLE A BATTERIES! TRIPLE MOTHERFUCKING A BATTERIES! Being the kind child I am, I asked if she could exchange them and she said oh well. R E W I N D. “Oh well” My nigga I will never get over that. After a bit of nagging and complaining, if my memory serves me right I do believe she did say she’ll go back and get them. I think. Probably not true but I guess that makes her sound good, no? I’m still waiting for my batteries. My MP3 has some good ass songs. I was just trying to bumb, feel me? So now the window is open to whoever would like to fufill my wish of never ending music and spunking my music by delivering the extra large pack of aaa batteries… ALL I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS WAS FUCKING BATTERIES. I DIDNT CARE IF I DIDNT GET ANYTHING ELSE. B A T T E R I E S, and she couldn’t even get that right.
