#mark vs jack

[beerecordings]

Jackie: honestly, Jack? I know it’s not like you ever meant to create me, I know... and really we’re friends more than anything else, but... I want you to know I... look up to you? and love you? you’re like a big brother to me, man, and I hope you know I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and I really want to make you proud even if this wasn’t what you intended at first :’) hug?

*meanwhile on the other side of the world....*

Dark, crashing through Mark’s kitchen window with a baseball bat and a flamethrower: GET BEHIND THE CAMERA MOTHERFUCKER WE’RE MAKING IT CANON THAT I’LL KILL YOU

[criticaloser]

I feel like Mark and Jack have very intense, but organized, debates about pineapple on pizza

[beerecordings]

could you imagine like. jack and mark going to a support group or smth for single dads and jacks like ‘yeah i have six kids also the oldest keeps trying to kill me but i love them all so much

haha absolutely skjbdkg. it’s hard for him!! Anti really wants him dead and he just wants to hang out with his boys!! meanwhile Mark’s like well i have about THIRTY and they ALL want to kill me except like two of them so THERE

and Jack’s just like MAN STOP MAKING THEM LIKE THAT

Mark: I DON’T KNOW HOW

Jack: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW

Mark: THE ONES THAT AREN’T MURDERERS ARE JUST SO BORING JACK

Jack: fuck’s sake. JJ, I’m going to need a second coffee for this, please. thank you sweetie

Mark, sobbing: I LOVE MY KILLER CHILDREN

[beerecordings]

Thomas Sanders: Oh wow guys I just picked up a prop for my next sides video and WOW are you in for it hahaha it’s going to be great and you’re all going to be so excited!! I put a ton of work into my projects and I’ll always let you know before I post a new one!! Hold onto your hats, here it comes!!!!!!

Us: Sweet! We’re really excited!

Markiplier: yeah there’s a big project. coming soon. and by soon, like.... whenever I get to it. I’ve probably been working on it super super hard for at least six months but eh nbd. get me high enough on laughing gas and i’ll cry a little about how much you guys are going to love it, but whatever. whenever

Us: That’s awesome! Take your time, dude! Can’t wait!

Jacksepticeye:

Us:

Jacksepticeye:

Us:

Jacksepticeye:

Us: holy fuck he could glitch at any fucking second

[beerecordings]

Markiplier fandom, given Mark doing bits for Cloak in a lab coat: oh my gosh this is so funny!! he’s kind of like Dr. Iplier but he’s like a scientist and he’s like enemies with Jack’s character and he doesn’t have the head mirror or tell people they’re dying hahaha. new ego lol!!! him and Mori are pretty close in age, maybe they’re buds. okay we need to come up with a new name for him what are we thinking?? Dr. Cloak? Markiscientist? we can’t just call him ego number sixty-seven guys lmao

Jacksepticeye fandom, given Jack doing bits for Cloak in a lab coat: WHERE ARE YOU HENRIKKK WHY CAN’T I FIND YOUUUUU WHY HAVE YOU GONEEE AWAYYYYYYY

[beerecordings]

Mark: okay guys now that you’ve seen the new ego content it’s time to have a two-hour long livestream to discuss everything and let you guys know what’s going on! haha i’ll probably make some jokes about it in my next couple videos and i’ll definitely give you guys a heads-up when i’ve got something new on the way!! i know you guys love the big reveals and i love to clue you guys in after a big production!!!

Jack: You fools. You absolute ignoramuses. You think you’ll get answers out of me? I’VE BEEN IN A COMA FOR MORE THAN A YEAR. Who are you even watching? Is JJ evil?? SCHNEEPLESTEIN WHOMST???? ANTI’S GOING TO KILL ME AND I PROMISE YOU I AM TAKING THIS COMMUNITY DOWN WITH ME IN A BLAZE OF FIERY GLORY

[beerecordings]

Mark preparing for ego content: mmmhhmmmm.... time to livestream eating pretzels and drinking from my Very Big water bottle... what, you all want to see Dark? I don’t know. I don’t know if you deserve Dark. He has STANDARDS you guys.. no, back off, back off. I don’t have any secrets! No secrets to tell! You’re not getting nothing out of ol’Markimoo! NO I SEE YOU IN CHAT! I SEE YOU ALL COMPLAINING. Whiners, whiners, all of you, geez... Nothing is happening. I don’t. know. what you’re all talking about. *insert sulking noises (he’s spent the last three months writing, filming, directing, and editing a whole damn movie for us)*

Jack preparing for ego content: Robin. It’s time. PREPARE THE GLITCHES. SOMEoNE GET ME MY RIPPED BLACK SKINNY JEANS AND A NERF GUN. THIS IS HAPPENinG PEOPLE. oh you want to see Chase??? *pulls lit dynamite out from behind his back* THEN GET READY FOR CHASE!! I WILL HAVE TEARS! I WILL HAVE FIRE! ANTI’S GOING TO KILL US ALL AND IT WILL BRiNG THIS COMMUNITY TO ITS KNEES!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MERCY, AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! ..... looks good, yep, post it. okay yeah let me just check how they’re doing... oh, they’re so excited!! thanks, you guys are the best, this is so much fun, love you! <3

[beerecordings]

Jack: yeah so these are my egos! obviously Anti's out to get me haha but otherwise we do okay!! this is Chase, my good friend, and Schneep, who’d do anything to save me, sweet lil Jamie, funny Marvin, haha that's Jackieboyman, he's our superhero, he always saves the day!! :) :) :) TIME FOR THE PMA CHANT SEPTIC BROTHERS!!! FRIENDSHIP RULES!!!!!

Mark: Four score and seven years ago, I fucked a lot of shit up and I'm now haunted by a blue and red spectre who would sell me to Satan for one cornchip and a bubblegum maniac who has killed me twice already. And that's Yan, literally a murderous psychopath, Ed, who’s planning to rumplestiltskin my first-born, Harold's still trying to get me arrested since I started my second cult, and – oh, you know, I should go, Bim's starting to look hungry. Oh, hey, an android bent on the destruction of humanity!! Fuck, I love being a creator.