Letter to Taylor Claus Contest: Runner Up
@SnowWhiteDriftdl wrote our runner up Letter to Taylor Claus. ENJOY!
Dear Taylor Claus, I know we've had our differences in the past. I may have made inappropriate manips of you (... on the rolling Stone cover with Rob in the True Blood pose, as a Macy's Thanksgiving day parade float, on Valentine conversation hearts, as... well you get the picture). But I'd like to apologize (just in time for Christmas because I want presents) and insinuated you may be heteroquestionable. But, you see, I'm jealous. Jealous.... of your abs. Not for me of course. I've had a baby... that ship has long sailed. But for the rest of the male species. I know we all say blah blah blah sense of humor blah, but c'mon, I've never fantasized about knock knock jokes during a go to moment. It's true, the abs have it. They are the most complimentary accessory to Jorts. Most men do not have your devotion to fitness and therefore they are all the weaker. It's sad. So, Taylor Claus, I ask that you do the average, beer drinking, wing eating, couch laying on a Sunday afternoon dude a favor: eat a jar of pickles. This will give you that full faced, puffy, water retaining, bloat, knocking out all definition of any muscle tone whatsoever (pickles, though delicious, are the devil. I found this out after overeating said delicacy and woke up the next day with eyes as puffy as a prize fighter's). See, no permanent caloric intake... no cheeseburgers or Hershey bars. Just passing Stay-Puft-ness that will let you emphasize with the male masses for a day. And so we can temporarily get back to appreciating men's personalities. Thank you and good night, Snowwhitedrifted
PS: Love it! RC: Too funny! heteroquestionable....BAHAHAHAHA PS: I was just going to type the same exact thing! RC: HAHA - great Pervy minds. Is heteroquestionable all METRO? PS: I assume so, but I think I love it even more. TF: I think she just made a new word! Alert URBAN dictionary. If you're heteroquestionable, does that mean that it would just take a Marky-Mark video (for you young kids, he was the Justin Bieber of the 90s) to make him switch teams? PS: Found it! It was already put up in 2006: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Heteroquestionable&defid=2065279 TF: Damn. Behind the curve and showing my age! ;) RC: I can't keep up with all the kidslang stuff! Were you guys of the Donnie Osmond-Andy Gibb age? UT: Twifishie was. PrettySparklies and I are a bit young for that. Marky-Mark was spot on for me. I can't see Mark Wahlberg as anything but Marky-Mark. Aaaand now I have Good Vibrations stuck in my head. Thanks TF :P RC: Well thanks for making me feel so old. TF - we're OLD! TF: Hey, UT and PS make me feel old on a daily basis!!!! You're in good company, RC. We're as young as we feel, right? UT: Anytime ;) It's so rare I feel like the young one anymore. PS's student employees keep us feeling older every year. RC: My little one made me feel young but now she isn't a little bb anymore. And I am back to being old! HAHAHA - Hubs is HS teacher so.....at least he feels old too! LOL UT: LOL. Yeah, we understand. I have high school friends who now have kids who go to our old high school. I can't believe I'm old enough to have kids in high school without having been an after school special. PS: Um, I'm still stuck that TF compared Marky Mark to Justin Bieber...I think I just puked a little in my mouth. :( I'd compare Joey McIntyre from NKOTB to Justin Bieber or Marky Mark to Justin Timberlake maybe...am I showing my age even more? RC: Well you're showing mine! LOL Congrats and Thank you @SnowWhiteDriftd! *hugs* The ladies of AiT <3
