Short fic based on a phone call I got last night and could not stop laughing about
for @crying-lightningx
1.3k words
Remus is working the graveyard shift when he gets a call, but he's realizes he's the wrong number. Wolfstar getting together if you squint.
The Friends you make at 3am
The thing no one told Remus about working graveyard was how it slowly takes over the rest of your life. A few missed lunches with friends, slowly turns into missed birthday parties— he hadn’t ment to sleep through it— and so slow Remus did not realize it, the invitations just stopped.
So Remus friends become the late night travelers of the motel he worked at. An exhausted mom carrying a sleeping toddler on her hip at midnight, in town to see a specialist. Drunk bachelor and bachelorette party goers stumbling back in disarray from thier last ‘free’ night. Sometimes a lost stripper trying to find the room of the soon to be married for a last dance.
But in the quite hours between the drunk partiers and the early rise construction workers, was his favorite. Those there the hours he could just read. That was the other thing no one told you about working nights, just how much reading time he had now. It was the main reason he kept the job after all.
He was just getting to the red room scene of red white and royal blue when the phone started to ring. Every damn time.Grumbling, Remus flipped the book over and set in on the desk, spinning his chair to pick up the phone— but it wasn’t ringing.
Confused he turned to his cellphone, the small screen lighting up and buzzing across the top of his work bag. It was not a number he recognized, but it looked local. He internally prayed it was not some day shift person calling in. He was fucking exhausted. He could not be fucked to stay another shift or try and find someone willing to come in, that was not his job.
He thought of letting it go to voicemail, but thought better of it and answered. “Hello?”
“Gilderoy?” An angry voice crackled through the speaker, something echoing in the background like like he was on speaker phone.
“Uhh,” Remus’ eyebrows scrunched, “sorry I think you have the wrong number.”
“No we don’t.” Another voice snapped, the words slightly slurring together. If he had to guess, Remus would say they were drunk or the the very least had been drinking. “You fucking man-whore gave my boyfriend your bloody number last night. Don’t pretend to be someone else you stupid little—”
A laugh bubbled of him before he could stop it, because this was not happening right now was it? “Sorry but I really think you have the wrong number. I work graveyard, and gay as the day is long. So I don’t think I stole your boyfriend. Plus if he took the number, I wouldn’t blame the other person, honestly. That’s on your boyfriend.”
“I’m gay too!” The slurry voice called again, higher pitched than Remus would have assumed was a man, but that’s why he shouldn’t assume he guessed.
There was a squabble between two people. Was it the previously mentioned boyfriend? Honestly this was the most entertaining thing to happen to Remus yet tonight. Would they fight? Would he be able to over hear them?
After some muffled sounds, clearly the two fight over the phone, a nicer not as drunk voice said, “So sorry for bothering you.” Then the line went dead.
Remus pursed his lips, tossing the phone back onto his bag. He was kinda dissapointed, if he was being completely honest, how that conversation would have ended was going to haunt him for the rest of his night. Unable to do anything about it, Remus opened his book and resumed reading.
Fifteen minutes when by— he was just getting to the steamy bits between Alex and Henry— when his phone rang again. Twice in one night? That was not normal. He scooped it up to find that, it was the same number as before.
“Hello?”
“Hey bruv,” The second calmer voice who had not called him a man-whore said, “Do you wanna know what happened?”
Remus tucked a napkin into his book and leaned back in his chair. “Oh yeah, I was going to be wondering about you guys all night. Tell me everything.”
“Okay, well my best mate, Sirius. He apologizes for calling you all the stuff earlier by the way, we were just caught up in the moment. We were at the Leaky Cauldron, and he stepped out for a smoke and grabbed Benjy’s jacket— that’s his ex by the way— because he had the smokes, and then when he opened the package this folded up number fell out. And it was some bloke named Gilderoy—”
“Gilderoy,” Who Remus guessed was Sirius hissed, “What a proteinaceous bloody name. Imagine trying to moan that during sex?” Remus snickered, and Sirius giggled too, “See even he thinks it a stupid name don’t you? Um… what’s his name?” He mock whispered.
“I’m Remus.” He added helpfully, a smile pulling at his lips.
“See even Remus thinks Gilderoy is a dumb name.” he slurred, followed by a crash of metal, like he had just tumbled into a trashcan.
“Careful,” The other man sighed, “Anyway, we find this number and give it a call but in our hurry, we got the last two digits switched and we called you instead.”
Remus nodded, “I figured it was something like that.”
“Well,” they continued, “We called the right number, and you won’t belive it but Gilderoy didn’t answer but his boyfriend did.”
“No.” Remus laughed. This just kept getting better and better.
“YES!” They shouted through a laugh, “And then his boyfriend Edgar, he apparently works with Benjy at the leaky Cauldron. Now he’s headed to the cauldron to beat the shit out of Benjy and we decided to bounce before shit got bad.”
“Isn’t James so mean, Remus?” Sirius said super close to the microphone now, “He won’t even let me stay to watch my shitty ex get his ass kicked.”
“Sirius a strong wind could kick your ass right now,” James huffed, “Plus you have gotten us black listed from every other bar in town. I’m making us leave to preserve our future friday nights!”
Remus laughed—a full belly kid of laugh— until tears started to prick in his eyes, and he was wheezing for breath. He could not remember the last time that he had this much fun, and he wasn’t even there.
But for a moment he could pretend, walking the cold street the smell of rain mixed with the sewage in the street; trying not to throw up. He needed to make some new friends, he missed this feeling.
“Hey Rems,” He could hear Sirius smile through the phone. “Your working right? Where you working this late?”
“Uhh, the hotel across the London Bridge St.”
“That’s so close!” Sirius shouted. Remus was beginning to think that was just how he talked, always on the verge of yelling. “Do you like burgers?”
“Yeah? But I think most people like burgers?”
“Great, we are gonna bring you some.” Sirus announced proudly. “Your one of our mates now, okay?”
Remus chuckled to himself, “Okay.”
“Okay, see you soon Rems.” And before the call ended, he swore he heard Sirius say “He sounds pretty cute don’t you think?”
Remus tossed his phone the table, still laughing about the whirlwind of the last twenty minutes. Stretching out his long limbs, with a groan he got up and made some fresh coffee. It sounded like his new mates needed something to sober them up, and it was the least he could do with them bringing him a burger.
Remus grabbed his book and dropped it into his bag. He had a feeling he would not be needing it tonight. Maybe it was not impossible to make new friends working the graveyard shift— you just had to meet the right ones.
