#marshmarrows

[happy-mountain-goats]

i rolled a cosmiccascade gacha beacon on my last day alive. how does it feel

remember when you told me you'd run away with me and then you banned yourself two days later?

it feels like a little better than that

[marshmarrows]

the thing about vanjay that made them so perfect for each other was that they needed each other, whether they realized it or not.

van needed someone to choose him. he felt alone on the server and like he was always everyone's second, or even last, choice. he felt disregarded by his own teammate.

jay needed someone who would stay. and more than that, she needed someone who was away from it all. someone who wasn't connected to every source of turmoil she felt. someone who was willing to go along with what she decided on a whim.

without even knowing, they gave that to each other.

van was a new face to jay. a curiosity, in a way. most everyone else in that trial chamber knew each other. and so jay sought out an outlier in the chaos.

"let's run away together," they said on impulse as everyone else grew distracted. maybe that was the first time jay chose van. maybe van's agreement was the start of it all.

but what matters is: time and time again, jay chose van. and time and time again, van stayed.

they were both desperate for each other without realizing it. they were both so terrified that what they had was a lie. that it wouldn't last. but i think that's exactly why it lasted.

because that fear made them cling tighter and tighter to each other. to promise certainty no matter the unknowns. to will the future to warp to meet their wishes. because no matter how uncertain they were, they wanted to be sure. they needed it.

@vanivanvanilla if you have any thoughts, feel free to add them :3

[vanivanvanilla]

meowwww meow mrrp mrowwwwwwww meow mrowww mrow

meow meow meeoeeowow meowwww mrroow mrow meow mwah

[vanivanvanilla]

bites you

i’m biting u back nom