Hi! First of all, I LOVE your meta <3 Second, I just rewatched 4x21, when Sam is detoxing from demon blood and he hallucinates Mary telling him that he was right in drinking the blood to become stronger to end the apocalypse. In light of the real Mary we got to know this season, I think he may not have been hallucinating this at all, or at least that's what the real Mary would have said too. What are your thoughts on that? ^^
HA! Oh gosh, yeah, every memory of Mary– even the imaginary ones– just keep bringing the pain. :P
I definitely think it was a hallucination. I mean he hallucinated Alastair torturing him, himself as a kid berating him for all of his life choices before conceding that he was just “tainted” and really didn’t have a choice. And then Mary appears.
Dean had locked him up. Dean didn’t trust him. Bobby had helped. Bobby didn’t trust him, either. But Sam truly believed he was doing the right thing. Sam had spiraled down as low as he could on the self-hate scale, and he expected “Mary” to confirm it all, but… She tells him he’s doing the right thing. Not only that, she tells him “Dean is weak” for trying to stop him.
He thinks killing Lilith will STOP the apocalypse… so in essence Mary telling him to kill her to “make my death mean something,” it really takes on a whole new level of chilling here. Because Mary died so that Azazel could bleed in his mouth and make him the perfect instrument to kill Lilith to free Lucifer, and then to become the perfect vessel FOR Lucifer… is that really what the real Mary would want her death to mean?
I mean, I know she didn’t know that when she’d made her deal, but in hindsight, that’s the implication of hallucination Mary there.
But at that point SAM believed that only he had the power to kill Lilith, because he’d put his trust in Ruby. He’d been manipulated into believing that killing Lilith would STOP the apocalypse, not START it…
And now that we’ve gotten to know Mary (and really, we should’ve assumed some things about the kind of hunter she was from looking at the hunter who RAISED her… because Sam knows more about SAMUEL than he’d ever known about Mary until she came back in s12 and he’s been learning for himself.
But I think he’s starting to see the similarities, and I can only hope he’s shuddering at Mary’s casual acceptance of the MoL’s plans that look terrifyingly similar to his missions with Samuel back in s6. I mean, the only reason Sam had thought there was nothing wrong with the Campbell family’s hunting style is because he’d literally HAD NO SOUL AT THE TIME.
And Dean recognized how horrifying all of this was in 6.07:
Dean: And why? And did it ever occur to you that this is really shady?Sam: He’s our grandfather.Dean: Yeah. Yeah, a guy who talks a great game. But you can’t assume that family means the same thing to him as it does to us. He’s not Dad. Wow. You don’t see it, do you?Sam: What?Dean: You’ve got no instinct. [Scoffs] I mean, you are seriously messed up.Sam: Thanks.Dean: I’m not kidding, man. Nobody’s forcing you to work with me, okay? But if we do this… I drive the bus, I call the shots, and you tell me everything, whether you think it’s important or not, because – trust me – you can’t tell the difference. Or, you know what, go – go with Samuel. See how that goes. It’s up to you.
And then right after this, we’re led to BELIEVE that Sam went back to work with Samuel… but really he was following Dean’s script. Because even SOULLESS he understood that Dean had the right instinct here. He trusted Dean’s assessment of the situation, and then worked from INSIDE to discover what Samuel was really up to… uncovering a lot of the shadiness in s6 (but not quite all of it).
But since s12 is working on a different schedule, and not linearly retreading all the points of s6 in order, Sam and Dean are already a few steps ahead of that first discovery in 6.07. Which is interesting.
And I kinda went way off on a tangent here >.>
