I'm supposed to be sleeping right now but I am lying awake thinking about Spec Ops: The Line. I got the game recently and found myself so engrossed in the story that I finished the entire game in one four hour sitting.
Beyond the read more I go inti some pretty heavy topic, but before that I would just like to say, I love with all of my heart whoever is responsible for making the loading screen after or around the ending where the tip simply reads "you are still a good person". That about made me cry after the experience that was Spec Ops. The team behind this game understood they were creating real art.
If you intend on ever playing the game, then Spoilers! Ahead.
So. The ending of that game. Probably one of my favorite endings to a game in years. Every ending, all four of them. I know the canon ending is Walker's suicide, but personally my favorite is him finally getting to leave. I personally just think it's a beautiful message to see a man torn apart in his own delusions of grandeur, at the end of his rope and falling ever faster, find the strength to reel himself back in and just. *Leave*. Captain Walker is by no means a good man. He has done horrid, unforgivable things. Committed atrocities that would have him hung back in the civilized world. Killed literal thousands of people through his refusal to see what was right in front of him. But in the end, he still had the humanity to Stop.
It's in Konrads final words to him, in his hallucinations at the top of the tower. "And Walker, don't be too hard on yourself. At the end of the day, you still get to go home. Lucky you."
He just spent the better part of two entire days fighting for his life. Horrible as the crimes he committed were, he's alive. And now he'll have to learn to live with himself. No easy way out. He understands that he deserved to die. It's in his call for evacuation. "One survivor too many..." his squad, who were like his brothers? They died hating him. His mentor, the man he looked up to? He died a coward and a monster. The thousands of innocent lives he was sent here to save? A trail of corpses that followed him all throughout Dubai. But he refuses to grant himself that mercy. Refuses to simply shut his eyes and end the torment. No, he is going to live the rest of his life seeing the families he reduced to burnt smears on the walls of the trenches every time he closes his eyes. And he is going to suffer in that. That's real justice, to me. For him to break free of his own insanity and fully understand and feel the consequences of his own actions, for the rest of his days. He may someday come to be happy again. May, years down the line, learn how to appreciate the little things again. But he'll always carry the weight of the damned on his conscience.
Literally a perfect ending, to me. Also, while I am here, I need to comment on perhaps one of my favorite lines of dialogue ever written. When the vision of Konrad raises the gun, and Walker says that it all must be in his head? Konrad's line "Are you sure? Maybe it's in mine!" Has been living in my head rent free. There's something magical about that line. To me. I don't quite have the vocabulary to describe quite why that one cuts me so deep, but I cannot stop thinking about it. I repeat it constantly. I mutter it to myself all the time. I will one day have to force myself to sit down and write an essay on that line alone because I cannot let the feelings it give me dissipate before I've had a chance to simply create something with those words in mind. Maybe it was all in my head. You'll never know. Now go home.
(pinned) 5x5 of babygirls featured in games I played in 2025
[2024, 2023]
see notes and credits below
wow, what a year. after 2024, I figured out that properly anticipating & working a backlog around current releases was too much of a fool's errand when more often than not the highlights of each month instead just fell into my lap without any sort of planning on my end. I can confidently say that I didn't expect to get back into Sonic as hard as I did, or to give at least a 1/5th of the titles listed here any attention, but here we are.
before I start this little commentary, let me stress that the term 'babygirl' is used very leniently. I do not harbour deep seating feels of reverence or affection for egomaniac Alex YIIK or war criminal Martin Walker -- Takumi is fine though. he's never done anything wrong ever.
Eleanor Lamb (row 4, column 3) & Olivia Haas (row 5, column 2) were both drawn by sakuracila
Hinako Shimizu (row 4, column 1) was drawn by vvormsuture
while I checked out Generations at the beginning of this year & soon after entered a deep dive into everything Sonic, touching on nearly every single game the series has put out while also getting into the comics, I decided to put Jet as my centrepiece instead of Sonic himself just because he's my favourite character (which Crossworlds coming out this year happened to compliment nicely)
Sage is here because (besides TMoStH) Frontiers was the one mainline Sonic game out of the 15+ I played this year that I had a completely fresh/blind experience of. my verdict is that it was okay. honestly I probably should've just put Surge on here instead.
Dante's presence represents my playing of every Devil May Cry game this year (yes, including the reboot).
if I had to pick a favourite, it would probably be DMC3, followed by 4.
row 1, column 4 is my WoL from FFXIV, though as of right now I have only completed A Realm Reborn.
it's worth mentioning that Alex is here because of the YIIK I.V update that came out at the tail end of last year, which reworked the combat, rebuilt many scenes, & altered a significant amount of story content. i'm not strong enough to publicly shill the game or hide my disagreements with it, but I will say this: calling it a 'guilty pleasure' would be redundant.
Balatro is here because I got a gold stake at the beginning of this year while I was killing time during a trip & that was important to me.
yes, I did get all 100 endings in Hundred Line. no, it wasn't worth it. (still got my vote for best narrative, though)
of the games that actually came out this year, Blue Prince was my personal favourite, & I wish more people drew Simon.
and that's about it. thanks to anyone who bothered to read all of this. my hope is to share more of what I'm doing & get back to making edits like I was for awhile last year, but we'll see. I like to be pretty predictable & moderate with what I blog about, so if there's anything I can predict out of 2026 besides more Octopath, I'll probably be getting into Fire Emblem: Fortune's Weave & the new Professor Layton. also NiGHTS & Megaman. sorry for anyone who followed me while underestimating just how multi-fandom I was.
have a nice new years everyone!
