"To California or any place--every one a drum major leading a parade of hurts, marching with our bitterness." -The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
Kyungsoo hasn't smiled in a year. He's too focused on trying to figure out what they're going to eat next or where they're going to sleep (or if they'll get to sleep at all). Sometimes he chooses not to eat, insisting that they have to save as much as they can, because there's no telling when they'll find themselves holed up in a place of shelter until it's safe to come out. Really, there's no telling if they'll even survive to see tomorrow, because with every step they take they're that much closer to dying. If he wants to be realistic with himself, then Kyungsoo knows that it doesn't matter if they're moving or staying, because they're going to die either way. One is just slower than the other.
Jongin smiles every day--at least, he tries to. He knows they've lost friends and family, and regardless of whether or not they meant much in their lives, he knows it hurts to know that they're that much closer to being alone. Sometimes he'll raise a finger to to the sky and point out how the clouds form turtles, shoes, or a hamper of kittens. He's always met with silence, but that never stops him. There's no question that he worries about how much they can allow themselves to eat or how long they can allow themselves to sleep or even sit down. But he worries most about Kyungsoo. He hears him crying at night. He can see the way his fingers tremble and how his voice is getting softer every day.
Under dusty skies and on corpse-riddled streets, the two friends walk together, tired hands clutching onto the straps of their knapsacks and weary feet carrying their weight. It's a wonder they don't collapse into themselves and fade with the ashes right then and there, but they're fighting for another day, another hour, even just a minute.
Jongin reaches a hand up to point to the sky, ready to show his friend the daisy in the clouds, but Kyungsoo takes hold of his hand just before then, fingers lacing tightly with the other male's in order to keep them from shaking. When Kyungsoo starts crying, Jongin lets them take a break from walking and simply stands there with the younger boy, wiping away tears and offering quiet murmurs of "it's okay."
Because even if they're going to die, even if they're going to lose close friends, and even if they'll have to worry every second they latch onto, they both know--everything will be all right.
