07.35 (WITA), Matone December 29th 2014
Now, I am sitting in front of my room at the second floor of my hostfamily. As you now, I am in Matone Village , South Kalimantan. My counterpart Alex Muffet still sleep on the bed as usual.
This morning dihari-hari terakhir di tahun 2014 ini, I feel so dry and lonely. I really miss God because I feel that my relationship with Him is not quite good. Thats why in this christmas (this year) I have a commitment to have a good relationship with God, feel His wonderfull grace and love. Thats the meaning of Christmas of this year for me.
I am feeling upset now because I heard and read about aircraft accident that happened yesterday. AIR ASIA QZ 8501 get lost contact and there is no confirmation about where is it now. I can imagine how’s the passager feel when the pilot told them about the bad weather and what will happen with them in the plane. Hopefully soon there will be a confirmation from the rescue services.
As you know (again) I am in Australia-Indonesia Youth Exchange Program 2014/2015. After come back from Perth and Margaret River, Western Australia I enter Indonesia phase, which is in Matone Village (village phase) and Banjarmasin (city phase). What AIYEP doing in here now is community development. So many things that I have experienced and learned when I was in Australia, especially about how’s Australian life.
Now in Matone its quite different, because indonesian participants collaborate with Australia participants as a counterpart. I am so glad that my counterpart is really kind, humble and nice. And so does the other. What I am felling now its quite confusing. I am a little bit worry about my project for business division in this community development. But in the other hand, I am happy because I feel worry. I hope my worryness will make me more surrender to God (I wish). Then, I just realize that two days more for this year. I have not made my resolution of this year yet. I have to allocate my time to do that.
Soon AIYEP program will finish, 12th february will be coming soon but I still have not decided yet about my next planning, my thesis ( will I make a thesis or just a journal for my graduation). Honestly, I really miss my university life, but I am not ready to enter it now beceause that decision that has not decide yet. I belive that AIYEP is a part of God’s plan for my life to show me something that affect my future. But maybe I am not really sensitive with what God has shown me, or maybe He has not shown yet what is it. maybe I am still at that process and I will know later, after I finish AIYEP.
Honestly, so many things I have not thought yet about I have to do after AIYEP specificly. Soon I have to think and decide about that. I have to prepare my self from now whats my plan after AIYEP.
I am a kind of person who needs clear direction from God. I am little bit afraid to decide something big when I am not felling good and has no preparation. Thats why maybe from today I can be as usual again, fell relax in AIYEP. Now I have to think about my life after AIYEP. It has been long time for me to relax. Now I have to go back.
