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FILMS YOU CAN WATCH THIS SUMMER
star wars
the picture of dorian grey
i am mr. stink
star wars 3
top 10 romantic comedies for 2026
cistopher nolan
weird small crawling orange & black worm bug
star trek
the cinema
the film
minecraft (2026)
the film (starring Matt Demon)
the incredible unbelievable story of a little man named ploot
blu-ray
yo, i didn't know this was out, but I voice MATT DEMON in CollegeHumor's animated series CARTOON HELL, go check it out on Dropout because those guys are incredibly talented artists who make monstrosities come to life
you can watch it here on Dropout
and a 10 minute free preview on YouTube here
(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkUEjI2dB7g)
matt demon and ben applecake are getting an abortion
albrecht hitchcock wascalled thst because he was madeoutofmechanisms and the one for hisncock was dogshit and constantly hitchedandstalled
few people make this connection but this is actually what inspired him to make his seminal horror film Fuck My Goddam Penis It Broke Again (1983) (starring Matt Demon)
This Is Me Throwing Up: A Shitfucked Dissertation on Matt Demon, UPS, and the Detrimental Effects of What I Now Call Canon
I am on Mr. Bones' Wild Ride, the Isekai of a Lifetime, and I am pulling over on the side and spilling my guts, which is to say I am writing this for you to understand what I am going through.
As per your dissertation, your gunshot through my chest if you will, I gathered the following big boy major points:
1) Matt's previous lives haunt the narrative. It's the death symbol, it's the propaganda machine, it's the Came Back Wrong, it's causing the kitsunes (Louis included) a lot of distress.
2) Matt is a people pleaser and has to act totally normal to lessen their worry. He lives a lie, acting for his LIFE and feeling trapped in it.
3) Dan is his salvation. It is through Dan that Matt is able to find joy in acting and be himself. He also finds a familiarity in Dan, for he sees that Dan is running away from something and finding solace in his art. Matt falls in love.
Sick wonderful awesome, tasty spicy finger-lickin, I wanted to put screenshots but the bitches got blurry. We trudge forward.
Ok, so Matt is a big major liar because of the people around him. Totally their fault, and his personality is a product of him fitting his personhood to their wants. The only exception to this rule is Dan, but what happens when he stops being that exception?
Here's where "post-Chapter 3 isn't real" comes in. Or rather, you can split the narrative or the timeline in two and have the dividing line be the ending of Chapter 3. You can divide the narrative between what I now call Canon and whatever comes after, the forever epilogue, the fix-it, the Rest of It.
Pre-Ch3 and the most relevant things that lead up to it (TGD / Mafia / the 1980s???) are the Canon that gets wrapped up kind of neatly in Chapter 3. Mafia Matt's death, Olive Garden (minus Olive)'s final confrontation/s (Ch2, Basement) with that monster that killed Olive, Dan's first comeuppance, the multiple Earth Gang therapy arcs, the aftermath and resolution of the Bunny Boys' drama all happen on or before Ch3.
Post-Ch3 has many arcs that are important (and fun and really good don't get me wrong) but are noticeably a different flavor to pre-Ch3. Matt's final life, the Beach Arc, Dan's Death Loop, Atty. Louis and the Reformed Tamers arc, The ENTIRE Revolution, UPS, Downs Canon and Candy Crush Canon, and of course ARMAGEDDON.
(Also, not in the list above is the assumed eternal Slice of Life story of the Earth Gang because they are allowed to exist and have basically no drama post-Ch3.
I have nowhere else to put it but here, BUT I think their storyline stops being written and has a whole different vibe, because the "story" is just the Rest of their Lives. Someday it will end, the humans will age, and I will NEVER be able to confront that. So their story does not exist and I am not looking at it, nosiree-)
So, these arcs post-Ch3 are the extension of Ch3. I think we MAYBE told a perfectly good story throughout Canon, like if we made a show, we could end it at Ch3 and have a solid fuckin show.
Post-Ch3 is like the really well-written fix-it fan fiction that follows (/pos!!!). Except it's by us, and it's everything we could ever want, and it's why we can end the world and lose our minds and feel happy and have all the pairings and KILL people and REALLY let lose.
A lot of post-Ch3 is like a whole new thing on its own I feel, and a lot of it isn't set in stone and it has no timestamps on the timeline and has a brainrot headcanonny feel because that's exactly what it is. I say this out of love: post-Ch3 is us looking at Canon, the thing we've made and we start thinking long and hard about the implications.
Back to Matt.
The Matt you talked about in your fucked up little dissertation is a product of the Canon. The Matt who is haunted by himself, the Matt who plays a character as an escape, the Matt who was born for the stage and lives for the stage and loved Dan because of the freedom Dan allowed Matt, which seemed to stem from Dan's understanding of what Matt was going through.
Dan was a breath of fresh air to Matt because he never brought up Matt's past lives.
In the Renaissance, Dan is first confronted with Matt's amnesia and the idea that he isn't who he was in his past life, and Dan inadvertedly does the kindest thing he possibly could. Dan is distraught for the duration of their initial bar conversation, before he decides to move on and write a new play. He buries the OSHA script (for a whole host of reasons), then shifts his focus to protecting the Matt he has in front of him, rather than digging up the previous Matt from his fucking grave and making him do a little dance.
As a result, it's their longest life together. For a minute there, it's the happiest either of them ever are. And then it ends, Matt dies, and what does Dan IMMEDIATELY follow it up with?
The Mafia Era. Without knowing it, Dan not only brings up Matt's past life, but the piece of shit does a whole revenge plot about it.
It's really funny whenever we talk about how Mafia Dan alludes to the Renaissance as if they both remember it, but with the knowledge that Matt believed Dan was special and loved him and felt safe with him because He Never Did That, it's suddenly a change in the script that chills Matt to his fucking bones.
Imagine their initial meeting. It starts off small with Dan chatting up Matt in the bar, courting him with this fucked up drug plan, telling him to quit his job and join his emo band (drug empire). Dan acts like they knew each other, something Matt is familiar with considering everyone in his theatre group did the same, recognizing him for his past self's Oscar wins, acting like they know him, and making him retreat to his stupid acting defense mechanism he learned in kitsune college. However, Dan of all people doing this to him feels wrong, but Matt has this inkling that it will pass. That he can trust Dan to drop it eventually and treat him like a normal person.
Imagine the safety of the kitchen. When Dan (as expected) forgot about his anger for a moment because Matt was in his home again, cooking with him again, as if the world outside Dan's home did not exist. It was the escapism of the stage, but there was no audience. Dan and Matt were free, yet they were not performing for anyone. Matt was content and happy, safe enough to tell Dan he wants this (the kitchen, the co-existence, the intimacy) for them forever.
Imagine the switch-up, when Dan remembers his fucking revenge plot. Imagine Matt wondering what the hell he did wrong, throwing anything at all at Dan to be allowed into his home again, and Dan outright refusing to because he's fucking petty. It's acting all over again, it's Matt trying to do what he does best, attune his personality to whatever the other person wants to make them feel comfortable with him. Acting to make them less disgusted with him. Acting in a way that makes them stop Looking At Him Like That. But Dan doesn't budge. He responds to nothing that Matt does and Matt has no idea what to do or how to act. He's acting because it's all he knows how to do, but this time he doesn't have the script.
Dan used to give him that script. Write Matt his plays and give him a role he can breathe in. Do that thing that Matt loves him for. But Dan's left that life behind. He is still running away from something (running from his brother, the Renaissance; awfully running from, Matt ), and Matt can SEE that, but he's doing it with THIS. This isn't art. It's malice, it's violence, it's becoming that bloodstreaked little thing Dan disappears into when he plays Mafia Dan, in which his words aren't his own and his steps are clumsier than they should be, unrehearsed and unfamiliar. Because he's fucking lying.
This isn't the honest, true Dan who Matt fell in love with in a life (in lives) he does not remember. And yet he is. He is the same Dan, in the way he walks in front of Matt during their raids of rival groups in the black market. He's the same Dan in the way he protects Matt by instinct alone. Matt can see the way Dan does not hesitate, his body and mind agreeing on something for once, suddenly gaining a practiced precision they did not previously have. But so what? It's wrong. Dan's tapping into old habits, the habit of keeping Matt alive, something he learned in the Renaissance, their happiest days, only to crush him. Only for the satisfaction of pushing Matt to the brink, of killing Matt himself.
Can you imagine the betrayal? Imagine the immense confusion Matt felt holding Dan's body as it went cold, as he muttered so much fucking NOTHING into Matt's ear, talking about things Matt doesn't remember. At this point, I don't know what he says. Neither does Matt. Dan could've said, "I've won," "I'm sorry," "where did you go?" and Matt wouldn't understand a single word. Because what the fuck is he talking about? Who the fuck is he talking to? Because it isn't Matt. It isn't anyone Matt identifies with, it isn't a person Matt knows how to be. And it fucking sucks, it fucking hurts how Matt can feel Dan trying to stay awake to get it all out, talk honestly for once in this life, and Matt can't respond. Dan kept him in the dark, in the same way everyone else made him feel, and Matt has no idea who he's holding anymore because he's become just like everyone else. And yet, he doesn't know why it hurts to lose Dan, and he doesn't know why he's grieving this fucking asshole.
But his soul knows.
His cursed kitsune soul still Loves Dan, still Loves the fading thing in his arms, and his soul knows that the person Matt Loved (the person he is anchored to) is dead.
You know when Louis went through something similar? When Louis realized the Matt he Loved is dead? And he broke up with him and broke his bond to him and fell ill for like a week?
Is that what Matt went through? When he lost the safety he found in Mafia Dan, maybe he felt something break in him and he felt himself get sick. Except Matt was a drug lord, so he had access to his awful fucking Demon drugs. So, he tried to self-medicate, and it made everything worse, and a long time passed,
enough time that Dan made his way back to him, carefree as ever, mostly healed, sure of himself again,
and Dan looked at Matt across the basement, with this blank expression as if he's burying something, weighing his options,
and then, Dan smiled at him like they didn't know each other.
And Matt feels a tug in his heart because it felt right. Dan felt familiar again. Matt could feel the anchor between their souls mending.
But Matt didn't fucking trust him anymore.
Matt kills Dan in the basement to silence his own stupid heart. He refuses to hope that they can be together again. He refuses to give Dan the chance to one day hurt him in a way Matt can't describe, to hurt him in a manner only possible if he knew Matt in a previous life and used that knowledge maliciously.
Because holy fuck it's terrifying when other people know something you don't. Matt feels terrified that the kitsunes, Louis, and Dan know him better than he does. It's something Matt has grappled with his entire existence. When he stops broadcasting to the world that he's lost his memories haha, he's pretending that he isn't vulnerable.
Matt has a blind spot, and it's his past life. It's a blind spot anyone can take advantage of. Matt knows anyone could lie to him; they could say they knew Matt in his old life and do whatever they want to hurt him and Matt fears this is the case for everyone he encounters.
Louis knew Matt for all his past lives, down to his very first one. If Louis was a little less kind, he could tell Matt they were friends in his old life, and that he saved Matt's life. He could have trapped Matt to Love him by making Matt feel indebted to him. It's not like Matt could refute his claims. And yet, Louis was kind, and did not pressure Matt into anything he didn't want.
If Jack and Benjy were a little less kind, they could arrest Matt on the spot the second he arrives at the beach. They could lie and pin any crime they wanted on him because they know he's the Tamer Boss, they could have the one of the greatest criminals in Hell's history in custody and he (Matt) would have no idea how to defend himself in court. But they were kind, and called a lawyer to consult with them on his case. Hell, they didn't even arrest Dan.
Even so, Matt can't simply believe in the kindness of the people around him. Not everyone is going to be like Louis or Jack or Benjy, and it really stings that Dan was the one who proved that.
From Matt's perspective, Dan was his greatest fear. Dan clearly knew him from a previous life, with the way Dan treated Matt and spoke to him in the bar. While everyone else who knew Renaissance Matt (his theatre company, the kitsunes) were all just a bit annoying (asking him for an autograph, asking him what happened between him and his previous director, looking at him sadly from across the room or like you said chatting him up as if he didn't have amnesia), Dan was Out To Get Him. Matt just barely got out of that unscathed, but when he sees Dan in the basement, acting like everything he did in the Mafia Era didn't happen? It raises alarm bells in Matt's head.
This is exactly what Matt wanted from Dan. Maybe Dan knows this. Maybe he's trying to earn Matt's trust. Maybe he's manipulating Matt. Maybe this is what he wants. Maybe he's going to do it all over again.
I have to fucking kill him.
And Matt dies.
And he forgets.
(And here is where I initially began my dissertation,)
And when he returns, the story is a little different.
It's post-Ch3 or post-Canon, and the world that molded Matt into the recluse theatre kid he used to be, has been slowly changing since the early 70s. The kitsunes in the college ask Matt about Louis, Dan has long since retired from producing plays, Louis is a lawyer and boss of the Demon Tamers, and revolution is brewing.
And Matt remakes himself.
Because when Matt respawns in the college, the kitsunes ask him about Louis instead of giving him an unhealthy dose of Came Back Wrong Syndrome.
Because when Matt meets Dan, who has long since retired from producing plays, he's avoiding Matt's gaze and walking into the sea. (And, Matt feels a tug in his heart when he sees that orange piece of shit go.)
Because when Matt meets Louis, who has loved Matt for basically all of his life, he's a lawyer and the guy Matt was looking for, and they date and He breaks things off with Matt.
Because when Matt meets Jack and Benjy, who have been trying to catch Matt since Ch3, they don't fucking arrest Matt on the urging of Atty. Louis, thereby releasing Matt from the legal repercussions of his previous life.
Because Mafia Matt still haunts the narrative. Dan is scared to death by him, Louis loved him, Jack Daniels wanted to catch him, but one by one each of those people let that go.
Matt is free, and as the single lucky person who does not remember the dreadful Canon, he is able to simply exist.
Yes, everything comes back to him eventually. At the end of the end of the world, he remembers everything Dan did to him, all the time he spent lying, all the millennia Louis was at his side.
But in that moment, by virtue of remembering everything, he knows himself fully, and his fear is abated. His blind spot dissolves, and he is able to confront his whole self.
Also, it super helps he has a psych degree at this point, like major plus points, big ups, that thing saves his life and helps him be ready to understand who he is ok bye happy 2024 @schmoft <333333
L’amore non si sceglie, l’amore ti sceglie…ciò che puoi fare è soltanto scegliere di amare. Potresti avere la vita che hai sempre desiderato, eppure, quando l’amore ti investe, il mondo non ha più lo stesso sapore di prima. E se il mondo diventa grigio nei confronti dell’amore allora quel mondo già ben “programmato” è in pericolo. ”
Citazione tratta dal film I Guardiani del Destino con Matt Damon e Emily Blunt .
