let me go
I wake up with my head pounding, matching my heartbeat, widening my eyes to at least try to help my vision go back to normal. I wasn't really sure where I was, and I sure don't remember anything from last night. I sit up and I look around the room; I don't recognize it. I sit still for a few seconds trying to remember what happened last night and why I even ended up in this room...but nothing comes to mind. I sigh looking around the room for any hints of what had happened last night.
"Baby, don't leave," I hear from the side of me. It was so soft and sincere.
I freeze and slowly turn my head. It was a figure; someone curled under the blanket. My mind starts to race. "Please don't tell me I just had sex with a random," I thought. I slowly reach my hand over the blanket, pinching it and slowly pulling it off just enough to see their head. Their hair was messy and brown; I could only see the tip of their nose and their plump pink lips from being in a deep sleep. I lightly move their hair out the way my eyes widen from the quick realization it was Matt Sturniolo. My heart begins to race. I hated that I couldn't remember anything from last night.
I slowly pull the blanket off, looking down and realizing I had nothing on. No pants, no shorts, nothing. I had just a loose shirt on. It was hot pink, saying "I need a kiss," with a light brown teddy bear on it. My mouth widens a little bit realizing this was Matt's, the shirt he was wearing last night. I quickly but slowly get out of bed to gather all of my things.I could hear Matt groaning, twisting, and turning about to wake up. I was all around the room trying to find everything I left, trying not to wake him up. Before I left, I had a feeling I forgot something. I touch my ears, my pockets, and my neck. my chain. My horse chain; I almost forgot it.
"Fuck, where is it?” I started to look around the room again, but I couldn't find it. Matt was still twisting and turning, being minutes away from waking up.
"Fuck it," I whisper under my breath. I grab a pair of shorts, rolling my eyes, and quietly creeping over to the door.
"Where are you going?" I turn around, and it's Matt sitting up on the bed, rubbing his eyes with his messy hair in his face. Before I could respond, my eyes went to his chest. He's wearing my horse chain.
"I need my chain."
"What chain?"
"The one you're wearing, I need it back.".
That chain was originally Matt's. He knew I liked it so much, so he gave it to me. I never took it off. I must've given it to him last night. I'm still not sure why he's wearing it.
He stares at me with a blank expression, slowly moving his hands to the back of his neck to take the chain off. I slowly walk over, not taking my eyes off of him.
He grabs my arm and plops the chain in my hand. His hands were warm, almost hot, and the chain was too. I look down, breaking eye contact, and walk over to the door. I hesitated, turning around, and I know he knew I wanted to. Before I could open the door, I turned around, giving a soft sigh.
"This wasn't supposed to happen again." I could feel a lump forming in my throat.
"What wasn't supposed to happen again?" Matt says acting dumb founded.
"Matt, stop fucking acting, dumb. You know what I'm talking about; I ended it with you months ago.".
"But you keep coming back," scrunching his eyebrows, leaning forward.
Me and Matt have been on and off for so long. We were never serious, but we were not serious either. I loved him a lot but I never told him. It didn't really feel like he felt the same way. He had this hold on me that made me somehow always come back.
"Because you don't let me go, you don't let me let you go," staring desperately for him to say something.
He doesn't. He just stares at me with glossy eyes, hesitating to respond, but he doesn't. I scoff from disbelief, "You can keep the chain, Matt." Throwing the chain back at him opening the door, looking back at him, hoping something would come out of his mouth. nothing. I slam the door, dropping my things. I pick up my things quickly, ready to walk away, before I hear "I love you" coming from inside the room. I freeze and squeeze my eyes together to keep myself from crying.
I wanted to turn back and tell him I loved him too. But it was too late. He was too late.