Aug 22, 2017
Scare your parents by telling them you have a joint in your mouth when, in fact, you have 32 teeth in your mouth which means you have 32 joints in your mouth unless some of those teeth are not your teeth in which case what the fuck
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Scare your parents by telling them you have a joint in your mouth when, in fact, you have 32 teeth in your mouth which means you have 32 joints in your mouth unless some of those teeth are not your teeth in which case what the fuck
I have graduated
I’m always the first one to be hungry at family functions like 饿了没有
@kitvi
Today was my first time driving in the snow and it was so fucking scary. I was 45 minutes from home and the snow has been coming down for a while and I just didn't know you could slid so much and nobody had taught me how to drive in the snow before. I was also getting drowsy? It was pretty bad but I am home and safe!
I had an idea when I couldn’t sleep
I lie here in my bed eating a bag of Doritos in the dark. I broke my fever through sheer force of will and can finally breathe clear again. I am my own king.
I'm going to plant strawberries in my garden for the express purpose of choking out weeds
Locked myself out of my car✌ cost me $190 to get it open so just shoot me I guess