I tried to write your name in the rain
But the rain never came
So I made with the sun
The shame, always comes at the worst time
It isn’t that Matvei doesn’t love, or doesn’t love Holly, he does. She’s wonderful, and light, and not afraid to call him out, and pull him away from his science when he hasn’t slept for days, and the idea that there is a world beyond the endless pages and pages of half-finished equations that still need to be made into graphs seems inescapable.
But, she’ll never win, not really. She came too late, after Matvei had made himself into a vessel for the Smiling God, and His glorious, burning Light. No matter what happens, it it that for which Matvei has dedicated himself to, and there are times when he forgets it, when he dares to think “I could be happy with her”, and then he sees the light, or someone will say something, and the guilt comes in, and he reminds himself that loving her is temporary, just until he’s worked hard enough to be devoured.
It’s a cycle where he allows himself to get comfortable, and then throws himself into his work and into his faith as penance essentially. He would love her if he could, but there’s too much of him that is wholly devoted, and he’s been blinded by the light for too long to ever let go of that, even for her.
(And perhaps the thing that matters the most is that he is not more loyal to her, than to the Light. He would willingly re-educate her of the time came, he would do it with no remorse. And yes, there’d be mercy, and some level of softness to it that would not be afforded to someone else, but it would all always be ‘for the greater good’).
Technically, Matvei supposed, he should be up in the first class lounge with his fiancé, where’d he’d spent the previous evening, and was expected to spend the rest. That was proper, that was what was done, but... he thought, as he and Holly whirled through the throngs of dancing, joyful passengers, there was something infectious in the energy down here. His finely pressed suit was out of a place in a crowd like this, but when the voyage was over, it wouldn’t matter, he’d be back with Helios, golden ring sparkling on his finger.
Now you're talking
Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle
And I'm sick of grading papers that are low
And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle
And all this misery pays no salary, so
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Oh, sunny Santa Fe would be nice
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And leave this to the roaches and mice
Sometimes, there are moments when Matvei seems more like the person he was before Strex, like he could have been without them. (He’s more like Mikhail, but with edges still sharper than his Night Vale double). In those few cases, he leaves the work at the lab, and brings Holly out into the Desert for a date- well and proper, without eve the pretense of scientific discovery.
He’ll express his distaste for Strex is the closest thing to words he has for it, and the constant exhaustion that’s always there seems to lessen for just a day when he sleeps, and relaxes. An it’s then, that he lets it slip that he doesn’t take the medication that most everyone else in the city does.
Only once does he express a desire to leave. He and Holly are sitting in one of the few restaurants in Desert Bluffs, and it’s daytime out (because it’s always been daytime. The sun hasn’t gone down in years), but the clouds are blowing across the sun and the light is inconsistent but golden. Matvei is talking about how the newest project hasn’t gone anywhere in weeks, and how he’s been living on coffee and cup noodles like he’s back in his first year of university.
They could leave, he says, they could leave Strex, and the whole desert behind them. She could open up her bakery somewhere else, and he could get a research, or a teaching job, and they could be happy and domestic in a world without an eternal day.
And then he laughs, and shrugs the idea off. This is home after all, he left and came back, and even then, there is Strex, and his job. And in the end, it doesn’t matter how much more normal he is, or how casual he acts, with a lazy smile on those days- on that day in the cafe. They don’t leave, and he gets caught back up int he fervour of his work and the Smiling God, and that strange, soft day over coffee is buried in the sand, along with the idea that they could have left.
1. Matvei proposes at one of the parties held at the lab for a breakthrough. He doesn’t remember what the breakthrough was, or even which one of the smaller groups it was for, but he remembers her. He’d been carrying around the ring for three weeks in the inner picket of his lab coat.
2. Helios is the person officiating, and they get married early enough in the morning that the sun streams through the stained glass of the church to illuminate them in fractals of colours. Matvei is even wearing a suit, though, the desert is hot enough that by the time the actual marriage happens, he’s gotten rid of the jacket so he just has a vest.
3. Matvei would like it to be known that he did not fumble in his vows and start to ramble about affection in science-based metaphors. He’s not Mikhail. The science-based ramblings were entirely planned. (Though in all honesty, he’s grateful that holly has picked up enough of it to understand what he means). Some of the other scientists are crying, his parents are just confused, and he gets a certain amount of vindictive pleasure in that.
4. Matvei’s favourite picture from their wedding is the one where he’s picked up Holly from their first dance. They’re both smiling at each other, and the she’s looking down at him. Her dress is billowing out like a movie. He very nearly dropped her half a second later, but that picture is immortalized.
5. The second dance was less picturesque. Holly was dancing with Tomas, and Matvei was dancing with Mikhail (who was invited because he was Holly’s friend, and because Matvei wanted the opportunity to spite him). There’s two pictures of that dance in the wedding album: the first is from their photographer who- somehow, no one is entirely certain how- made it look like they were actually getting along, and it looks quite nice. The second one is a candid one by Holly on her phone with the more accurate feelings behind it.
if they had a kid - Matvei/Holly, Helios/Holly, Mikhail/Tomas, Matvei/Tomas
Send in two characters || @halcyonterror
There’s enough kids, and each of their bios is long enough that i’m just gonna put them all under a read more.
Matvei/Holly
Name: Evangeline Sofia Anastasia Halley
Gender: female
General Appearance: Evangeline looks so, so much like her mother. The same colouring, the same shape of the eyes. The height that certainly isn’t tall, but isn’t short either. But Evangeline is sharp in a way that Holly isn’t. Nails, and wrist movements, and clothing with perfectly tailored corners and creases.
Personality: Evangeline is sharp, and cruel, and exactly what Strex wants. She’s a lawyer who can spin the facts until the defendant is lost in a web if truth, and she takes after her father. She’s kind, if odd until your purpose to her is fulfilled, and then she’s calm and cruel, and more than happy to send you off to the re-educators.
Special Talents: Evangeline isn’t actually anything other than human, so she has no interesting supernatural powers, and working for Strex means there’s very little downtime, but she has an uncanny ability to replicate origami by de-contructing the steps inside her head.
Who they like better: Matvei
Who they take after more: Matvei
Personal Head canon: Evangeline takes better to the fall of Strex than her father. She still struggles, but she is nothing if not capable, and more than ready to come out on top. For the first while, it’s mostly just pretending, and trying to deal with withdrawal from the Strex medication, and the variety of conditioning that had been her whole life.
Face Claim: Kacey Rohl
Helios/Holly
Name: Alaric Jeremiah Leix
Gender: male
General Appearance: Alaric takes after Helios in terms of appearance, though some of the divine edge is missing. He still looks like he’s a thousand miles away most days, but his eyes while odd, are more because of the seemingly empty way he can state than any actual feeling that they’re seeing into your soul. His hair is blonde, though no where near as white as Helios’, and the same sharp features are his father’s also. Some of his finer features though, are his mother’s; the curve of his lips, the shape of his hands, the pure fact of mortality.
Personality: Alaric is distant from the world like so many prophets are. Partially, it’s to try and avoid attachments when you see how wrong it all goes, and partially, it’s because people don’t like the strange child who sees too much, and knows too much, and seems to have a stare lost somewhere in space. Alaric is quiet, and hauntingly aware of the world around him. He helps Holly run the bakery, the repetitive motions of kneading bread and the precise measurements is both familiar and comforting.
Special Talents: Alaric is, for all he is still very much mortal, he is still half God. he can’t live forever, though he doesn’t tend to get sick as often, and perhaps the thing that causes him more issue is the gift of prophecy. Alaric can see a person’s future of he touches them, and occasionally, he’ll stare into space, seeing things that are yet to be. He wears gloves to cut down on the personal things he sees.
Who they like better: Holly
Who they take after more: both, but mostly Helios
Personal Head canon: If Helios runs hot, Alaric runs cold, but in the sort of way that rises goosebumps on your skin, and makes people think of lightning and running your hands over fleece blankets in the dry summer heat and watching the shocks fly. He seems unstable in the world, like he’ll just vanish into the mist one day. On days like those, he tucks himself away in a corner of the bakery kitchen, and kneads and makes until he feels grounded and human again.
Face Claim: Gerhard Freidl
Matvei/Tomas
Name: Melchor Vladilen Halley
Gender: male
General Appearance: Melchor takes more after Tomas in terms of appearance. He’s far less angular than Matvei is, but his features are narrower than Tomas’. His colouring is largely Tomas’, though his hair is dyed an ashen grey colour most of the time, and his eyes, while not quite Matvei’s, are closer to his than Tomas’. He’s an awkward collection of gangly limbs, though since joining track and getting into the pole vault and high jump, he seems far more secure in his own body.
Personality: Melchor is a bit of a flirt, and while smart, he doesn’t much want to enter science as a career. He writes poems, and music, and when he’s not working through chords on his guitar, he can usually be found running endless laps in the school field. Melchor is an idealist, and a romantic at heart, and tries to live his life like he’s the star in one of those summer teen movies.
Special Talents: People look at Melchor and they see a star track athlete, and a musician that writes love songs, so it always surprises people when he says something related to a complex math or science like it’s nothing. He might not want to do it as a career, but he pays attention, and he’s really quite good at chemistry.
Who they like better: Tomas
Who they take after more: Tomas
Personal Head canon: Melchor doesn’t have many memories of Matvei, and the few he does are from when he was still young enough for Matvei to fall asleep on the couch in the lab, to the sound of Matvei singing lullabies. Some of them were ones from when he was young, and others were ones put out by Strex, praising the Smiling God. Mostly, he knows that Matvei was a scientist, and that Melchor shares his last name, but Tomas doesn’t like to talk about him much.
Face Claim: David Carrera
Mikhail/Tomas
Name: Valeri Raphael Corvin Bell
Gender: male
General Appearance: Valeri takes after both his parents in his appearance. His colouring is like Tomas, though his hands, and the more angular features belong to Mikhail. He’s tall; taller than Mikhail, and he’s been wearing glasses since he was a child, even if not all the time.
Personality: Valeri is driven to excel, and does so, though it comes with nights spent hunched over his desk, tired eyes trying to read textbooks from the light offered by his table lamp, with hands and wrists that have cramped from coping over names, and dates, and scientific discoveries first onto paper, on then onto his screen. He’s charming, and suave, though not nearly as much of a flirt at Tomas was.
Special Talents: Valeri is incredibly talented at research and essay-writing. He can type down information in a methodical and mildly interesting way, but when it comes to having original ideas he struggles, though he’s good at taking an idea and making it his own. He really loves Alternate History Week, and it ties in nicely with his love for science, and history.
Who they like better: Mikhail
Who they take after more: Tomas
Personal Head canon: When Valeri is older, he ends up petitioning the City Council to let him become a librarian, and to try and modernize the library system. It’s... not a winning fight, but it’s also a task he’s determined to succeed at. He’s been working with Tamika Flynn to see a change in the way Night Vale views books.
There would always be accidental, and unethical experiments, and sometimes those ended in the sorts of people that brought down oppressive regimes, and restored a sense of justice to the world. They... weren’t that, at least, Matvei wasn’t, and had Mikhail ever been, the chance for it was gone. Mikhail stood in front of one of the men in neat black suits, a clipboard with his and Matvei’s most recent finding held in one hand, the other clutched tightly in Matvei’s, beside him, his... (partner? double? twin?) Matvei was speaking. “Yes, and if your scientists were half as talented as us, you wouldn’t need us, but you do.”
In time, we hide
In a masquerade of heroes
A million lies, behind blue eyes
In a masquerade of heroes
Scars on our faces
Are showing the traces
In a masquerade of heroes
You don't know what life is
Until you die for it
Matvei takes the fall of StrexCorp... poorly to put it lightly. He’d fallen down the rabbit hole of propaganda and conditioning harder than most- until it had become indistinguishable from what he would have been otherwise. Perhaps, had things gone differently, he may have been more like his double, but he had sold himself out to Strex when they came knocking easily enough.
And then they’re gone.
And so goes everything he’s built his life upon for years. His funding was cut, his city was struggling, the Strex medications started to run out, and suddenly, he’s not at the top of the world anymore. The citizens did not take kindly to the people who had willingly tortured them into being “their best, productive selves”. He’s spared a better fate than the current re-educators, because the people had overlooked him. There was quite simply, more that had to be done.
He doesn’t feel guilt for what he’s done, but... he also doesn’t know how to function outside StrexCorp. He meets Holly, not for the first time, but again, after he had driven her away, and made certain that she’d never ever forgive him for what he’d done. And then he meets Helios (and actually meets him, instead o passing him by ont he street), who was masquerading as a priest for a fallen church, but who wanted to help rebuild Desert Bluffs. He opened the Joyous Congregation doors to the people who wanted to or needed a place to stay.
Helios and Holly had gotten together at some point before the fall of Strex, and Matvei doesn’t understand why either of them bothered to stick around, but when everything falls apart, he’s glad they’re there. They’re the closest thing to support he has, and even that’s... mild at best.
He stays at the church for two months, and then moves in with them.
Night Vale hates him, and it’s only because of the two of them that he bothers to stay in Desert Bluffs even after it becomes a part of Night Vale instead of escaping to the Desert Otherworld.
The Morning After || Matvei && Tomas @thesexierscientist
The sun was streaming through the gaps in the curtains where Matvei had forgotten to close them the previous day... night... period. That was one problem with an eternal day- the sense of a ‘day’ stopped holding nearly as much meaning. He let out a groan, head pounding from the night before. There had been a party at the lab to celebrate their latest find and like Strex always said: “Work hard, play hard” and they had played, very, very hard.
Most of his recollection of the night was a handful of colourful moments connected with long blank stretches. He turned over, pressing his face into the body beside hi- wait, body meant person, meant living, and as they were living it mean he hadn’t killed someone (and Smiling God, he did not want to have to wash his sheets because he’d made the decision to just leave a corpse there).
He sat back up again, blinking to get his eyes to adjust the light, as he stared at the other person, and recognition set in. He let out a long sigh, “Smiling God,” he cursed quietly. Just what had happened last night that would end with him here? He sat up, jabbing an elbow into Tomas’ side, no use being nice after all. “Get up, you’re in my bed.”
