12
EXT. UPSCALE APARTMENT BUILDING IN ATLANTA, AFTERNOON Max stands on the sidewalk with his hand on a rolling suitcase. He looks forlornly at the building.
INT. UPSCALE APARTMENT BUILDING – MAX’S APARTMENT – TWO HOURS EARLIER Max and his landlord in a heated argument.
MAX: My accounts have all been drained, I don’t know what to do!
LANDLORD: It’s been two months, Max.
MAX: I know, and believe me, I wish I could pay you –
LANDLORD You work, don’t you? I see you leaving every morning.
MAX: I’m an actor, I’m auditioning. I had savings, I had a bunch of money I was living off of, but my wallet was stolen and I’ve lost everything.
LANDLORD: I don’t buy it. That’s not even possible. Your bank would protect you from something like that.
MAX: It’s the truth!
LANDLORD: You can’t live here for free, buddy. You’ve got three hours to vacate, or I’m calling the cops.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING, THE PRESENT Max sighs heavily, turns to his left and walks down the street, head lowered in shame.
INT. STARBUCKS, EVENING Max sits at a table with a clear Starbucks cup – it contains only water. He sips it through a straw.
EXT. STARBUCKS, NIGHT Max sits in the same chair, awkwardly looking out the window. His suitcase sits under the table. A barista approaches Max.
INT. STARBUCKS
BARISTA: Hey, we’re closing.
Max shifts uncomfortably in his seat, then gets up. He pulls the suitcase out from under the table and heads for the door.
EXT. ALLEY, NIGHT Max lays his suitcase down next to a dumpster and climbs on top of it. He looks around forlornly, leans against the metal structure, and closes his eyes.
INT. STARBUCKS, MORNING Max sits at the same table, looking miserable, wearing the same clothes he slept in. He sips another cup of water. The barista from the night before eyes Max across the store and shakes her head.
BATHROOM Max washes his face in the sink, using Starbucks napkins to dry himself. He looks at himself in the mirror for a moment before removing his shirt. He begins cleaning his chest with the soap from the hand dispenser.
TABLE Max has his head down on his arms, trying to catch some Zs.
LARRY’S VOICE: Maxim?
Max sits-up suddenly; camera cuts to show Larry standing next to the table, smiling widely.
LARRY: Max! I knew it was you! How are you?
MAX: (Shocked) Larry? I’m…good! Great, yes. Great! I’m good. How…are…you? I’m sorry, I’m just so surprised to see you. I had no idea you were in Atlanta?
LARRY: Yeah, well, I was really burned-out on New York. After we closed our show I went back there for about a month, but I couldn’t take it. So I thought, “What the hell!” and decided to come to the Big Peach! I mean, New York is great and all, but there’s something to be said for Southern hospitality, you know what I mean?
MAX: Yup, definitely.
LARRY: So here I am! I have a great little place in Dunwoody and I hit up about twelve auditions a week. I feel like a king! You?
Max is about to lie when the barista comes over to them.
BARISTA: (To Larry) Is this guy bothering you? (To Max) Dude, I can’t let you bug the customers. You need to leave.
He walks away. Larry is shocked. He looks to Max, who shrugs forlornly. Larry notices the suitcase.
MAX: I got kicked-out of my place yesterday.
LARRY: Grab your stuff; you’re coming with me.
EXT. SIDEWALK, DAY Max and Larry walk to Larry’s car.
MAX: I guess someone just lifted them off me when I wasn’t paying attention.
LARRY: So all your cards?
MAX: And my phone. I’ve been moneyless and phoneless for almost two months. I pawned most of my stuff to buy food. My car got towed three weeks ago, and I don’t have the money to get it back.
LARRY: That’s insane – the bank didn’t protect you?
MAX: Nope. And the police worked my case for about two days, and then suddenly they stopped contacting me. Whenever I go to the precinct and try to talk to someone, I get the runaround.
LARRY: I can’t believe it.
MAX: I think whoever has my stuff has convinced the police that he is me.
LARRY: Well look, I’m gonna get you back on your feet. You can stay with me as long as you like, rent-free, and I’ll loan you some money.
MAX: Larry –
LARRY: Loan, I said. You’re gonna pay me back, asshole.
They’ve reached Larry’s car, and they both get in. Max smiles, relieved. Someone is finally on his side.
EXT. LARRY’S APARTMENT BUILDING, EVENING Larry parks the car outside the building – the whole structure looks like it might collapse. Max looks a little skeptical, but Larry is practically dancing.
LARRY: Welcome to the neighborhood!
A giant rodent hisses at Max; he jumps about a foot in the air.
MAX: Was that a cat, or a rat?
LARRY: Hard to say. But they sure love attention!
Larry reaches in his pocket and pulls out a treat for the lil’ guy.
LARRY: Here ya go, buddy!
He tosses the treat to the creature; picks it up, hisses at Max again, and disappears down the sewer. Larry walks to the entrance of the building. Max hears a gunshot behind him – he whips around to see a little girl across the street, pointing a firearm up in the air. He looks at her for a moment, confused, and she fires the gun in the air. Max runs after Larry.
INT. THE MOST TERRIFYING BUILDING IN THE WORLD
Max and Larry climb the stairs; Max might cry. The hallways are dimly lit, and everything looks like it’s covered in a layer of grime. As they pass the landing for the third floor, a woman suddenly throws her apartment door open.
JANET: Larry! Who’s that?
LARRY: Oh, hi Jan! This is my friend Max! We did a show together in Omaha a couple years ago. He’s gonna stay with me for a while.
JANET: Oh Larry, another one?
LARRY: Janet, he has nowhere to go – he’s homeless.
JANET: Larry, you’re too nice; you spread yourself too thin. What if he steals from you?
LARRY: He won’t!
JANET: The last one did.
LARRY: Yeah, but I didn’t know that guy. Max, I know.
MAX: You let a stranger stay with you?
JANET: He’ll let anyone stay with him – bums, burnouts, News of the World employees. He’s a sucker.
LARRY: I can’t stand to see a struggling soul.
JANET: You’re a sap. (She turns an intense gaze upon Max) And you’re repaying your karmic debt.
MAX: Thank…you…?
JANET: You still have a ways to go.
She slams her door shut. Larry chuckles.
LARRY: I love her. She’s so fun.
INT. THE DOOR OF LARRY’S APARTMENT, NIGHT
LARRY: Well, welcome to your new home!
He opens the door to reveal…
INT. LARRY’S APARTMENT, NIGHT The room itself is an absolute nightmare – peeling paint, exposed brick, dark and dirty. All of the things inside the apartment are pretty nice, but it still doesn’t look comfy. That being said, it’s not small – there’s a living room/kitchen, and a hallway that leads to a few more rooms. But Max looks nervous.
LARRY: I just can’t believe I got this place – it’s a steal! Only two-eighty-five a month!
MAX: That much, huh?
LARRY: Ah, you’re such a kidder!
He takes Max’s suitcase from him and rolls it down the hallway. Max stands alone in the living room for a moment. He notices a cockroach sitting on the counter – it’s as big as a human hand. It chirps at Max, and he runs down the hallway after Larry.
MAX’S ROOM
LARRY: It’s so lucky that I have a guest room. It’s yours now, of course. I hope you like it – so you know, the next-door-neighbor is a little loud. Some of my other guests have complained. If it gets out of hand, just knock on the wall. She’ll quiet down.
MAX: Okay.
LARRY: Are you hungry?
MAX: YES.
KITCHEN Max devours a sandwich and drinks a half-gallon of milk in one sip; Larry eats happily across the table from him. Max finishes his food, belches loudly, and then yawns for a full minute.
LARRY: Woah, you should go to bed.
MAX: Yeah, I slept by a dumpster last night.
LARRY: Get some sleep. I’ll make breakfast in the morning, and then we’ll go get your car.
MAX: Thanks.
LARRY: (Beaming) Don’t mention it.
MAX’S BEDROOM Max is in his pjs. He snuggles-up under the covers, and has just closed his eyes when sex noises start on the other side of the wall. He opens his eye a crack, but decides to go back to sleep. The noises grow, and Max shifts around uncomfortably. Suddenly, the groaning becomes shrieking – it sounds like a double murder is happening on the other side of the wall. Two voices, male and female, scream and scream and scream. Max lies still in terror, unsure of what to do. The noises stop suddenly. Dead silence. Max gulps, closes his eyes, and tries to sleep.
CLOSE-UP, CLOCK: READS 5 AM.
CAMERA LOOKS DOWN ON MAX SLEEPING PEACEFULLY Suddenly, “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” plays, LOUDLY, from the other side of the wall. Max shoots bolt-upright in bed. He’s furious. He pounds on the wall.
MAX: Turn it down!
No change. He pounds harder.
MAX: Turn down the music, it’s 5 am!
The music still blares; a female voice sings along. Max hits the wall with still more force.
MAX: TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!
Max’s hand crashes through the poorly-constructed wall; the whole structure buckles beneath the pressure. There’s an enormous cloud of drywall dust, and the sound of coughing. When the dust settles, we see that there’s four-foot circular hole in the wall; Max has fallen through it, and he’s lying on the floor in the apartment next door.
INT. NEW APARTMENT It looks like June Cleaver’s home – bright, sunny, cheerful, and clean (except for the dust now covering nearly everything). It’s a studio, and standing in the center of the room is a young woman, covered head-to-toe in drywall dust. She’s wearing a vintage dress, pearls, heels, and holds a platter. She coughs delicately and extends the platter towards Max.
GALEN: Cookie?
SMASH CUT – ENDING TITLES.