I've spent the last 3 days retooling Tinny, because I just wasn't happy with the first draft. The title is SO good, and I really wanted to do it justice.Â
I'm importing this directly from my phone, so please excuse the typos and lack of formatting - I'll clean it up later.
Thanks to Tyler for the idea - please check out his website and leave feedback here for meeeeeee!
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Tinny Michaelson and the No-Good Tuba-Tuner
(Lights up. A NARRATOR enters left and sits in a very tall wooden chair. She holds a large, ornate book of stories. There is a stool or table to her left which holds a pitcher of water and a glass. This is her first Storytime, and she is rather nervous. She clears her throat and opens the book, searches for a few pages, then decides she really must use her glasses. From the inside of her blazer, she produces an oversize pair of tortishell frames, which she slides onto her nose. She looks for the story, finally finds it, and says aloud:)
N:
Tinny Michaelson and the No-Good Tuba-Tuner. Tinny Michaelson was twelve years old, and she played the tuba in her middle school's band.Â
(TINNY jumps onto the stage, wielding a tuba with ease.)
N:
She was the only girl in the brass section at school, and the only girl to ever play the tuba at James Atkins Middle. The other girls teased her.
GIRL 1:Â
Tinny, didn't anyone ever tell you that the tuba is a boy instrument? Girls play the flute, or the clarinet.
TINNY:
You're just jealous 'cause I'm stronger than you.
(The GIRLS scoff; they turn to each other and gossip in hushed tones.)
N:
Tinny loved being the only girl tuba-ist. She felt special for trying something new, and she liked the attention. But she really, really liked the music. There was another tuba player in the band, and his name was Mack Mikleson.Â
(MACK enters. He is considerably taller than TINNY, and he could probably play catch with his tuba.)
N:
Mack was a really good musician. He had the makings of a great musician, even. But no one ever noticed because-
(The NARRATOR coughs, a lot, very loudly. She is embarrassed, and reaches for her glass of water. The OTHERS slip character a bit; they look at the NARRATOR, waiting. She gulps her water quickly, then tries to find her place. She's mortified.)
N:
Mackwasareallygoodmusician, hadthemakings, greatmuscian, noone ever noticed BECAUSE, Tinny, with her small stature, was so much more impressive.
(The GIRLS turn around; they are now MOMS with glasses on and their hair held back with their hands.)
MOM 1:
Look at that tiny girl holding that big instrument!
MOM 2:
Can you believe it!
MOM 3:
She's such a trooper!
N:
Mack practiced all the time. He would race home from school and do his homework as fast as he could so he could spend the whole evening practicing. Mack had breath support for days; his embrochure was strong; his notes were crisp, and he could tune his instrument by ear. But the minute Tinny picked-up her tuba, he was as good as invisible.
MACK:
(He talks to someone in the front row; this person is MACK's best friend, and he will address them continually) Tinny is good, sure, but I'm REALLY good. It's just that she's so small - it's cool that she plays the tuba. But isn't my playing impressive? I want to be noticed.
N:
The Spring Concert was coming-up, and the band teacher had an announcement for the class.
(MOM 2 becomes the BAND TEACHER; the other 2 girls become students in the band.)
BT:
Okay, seventh-graders. For the spring concert, we're teaming-up with the 7th grade orchestra class to play a piece that highlights the individual instruments in a symphony. So I've assigned some solos. I'm going to start passing sheet music to the right - listen carefully. Flute solo, Adrienne; clarinet, Joy; trumpet, Brian; French horn, Jermy; tuba, Tinny.
(All but TINNY and the NARRATOR freeze.)
TINNY:
I'm going to play, alone, in front of all the students and parents and teachers, and sisters, and everyone at the concert??
TINNY:
Ohmigosh, wait til I tell my mom!
N:
So yes, Tinny was overjoyed. But Mack...
MACK:
I can't believe it.
MACK: (To his audience friend) This is so unfair! I'm better than she is! Why doesn't anyone notice me? (He glances at TINNY) She doesn't deserve this.
N:
And halfway through class, when Tinny went to the bathroom (to text her mom about the solo) and left her tuba unattended, Mack had an idea.
MACK:
(TAF) I'm going to make everyone see that I'm the better player. She wants her solo? Fine. Let's see how well she plays.
(MACK does what is narrated)
N:
He removed his left shoe, pulled off his sock, and stuck it deep down into the bell of Tinny's tuba, where it couldn't be seen. And so Mack became the No-Good Tuba Tuner.
(A red spotlight hits MACK - he grimaces, and the OTHERS onstage hiss evilly.)
(Everyone halts, drops character a bit.)
N:
Because, you see, tubas are brass instruments, which make sound because air moves through them. For a tuba to make music, air has to flow from the person playing through the big part, the bell, of the tuba. If there's a sock stuck in the bell, then air won't move through it correctly. It puts the tuba "out of tune," which means, "the notes sound wrong."
(She's pleased with herself for improvising well. She grabs her glass and takes a quick sip before continuing.)
N:
When Tinny came back from the bathroom, she slipped right into her seat, but she could barely stay still. She was just so excited! Band was her last class of the day, and she knew that the minute it was over, she was going to jump up and RUN home - she had to tell her sisters, and her dad, and her grandma. They were going to be so proud. The band director was finishing-up with the trumpet soloist -Â
N:
And the tuba was next. It was Tinny's first chance to try her solo. She was a good sight reader, so she thought her first try would go well. Her heart pounded in her chest, her palms felt sweaty, she thought she would scream with delight...
BT:
Okay, Tinny, give it a go.
N:
She took a deep breath, put her lips on the mouthpiece and...
(A muffled, ugly sound escapes the tuba. It's gross, and very effortful. She pauses, horrified, and tries again - no better. The class titters behind her. She gulps.)
(Lights shift; after school. The others become various students heading home. They cross behind TINNY and MACK, putting on and taking off small costume pieces to signify that they are many people. MACK is putting his tuba away.)
N:
Tinny was so embarrassed, she thought she would melt. What had happened?
TINNY:
I'm psyching myself out, that's all. I know I have to sound good, so I'm nervous. That's it.
N:
And she felt better. But the next day in class -
(TINNY hits more foul notes.)
N:
And the day after that -
N:
And Tinny knew she needed help.
TINNY:
Mack, I need your help.
TINNY:
This solo. I'm freaked-out. I can't play right.
MACK:
I don't really want to -
TINNY:
Please, please help me. I need some pointers or something, and you're the only other tuba player in our grade.
MACK:
Tinny, I have a lot of homework -Â
MACK:
I'm not interested.
(The NARRATOR takes a big swig of water. She finds her place on the page. The others all become STUDENTS, and they practice their instruments.)
N:
Tinny was crushed, but she knew she had to do something, or she'd be a laughingstock. She couldn't let everyone down.
TINNY:
I don't want to let myself down, either.
TINNY:
I guess I just have to practice.
N:
Tinny normally practiced everyday -
TINNY:
Yeah, I guess. A couple times a week.
TINNY:
It's just so boring.
N:
(Silence for a moment. Then, a not-so-subtle suggestion:) But NOW, in the crunch, with a deadline approaching and disaster on the line, Tinny knew she had to step up her game. Ten minutes every few days became thirty every single day. She breathed deeper, buzzed her lips more, and double-checked her valve settings. Every time she did something even a little bit better, she did it ten more times, just to make it stick. For two weeks, she was the most diligent tuba player in the state, and when the day of the concert arived, she'd practiced her solo more than anyone else in the class. But you know what?
(TINNY plays the first few notes of her solo; it still sounds bad.)
N:
She didn't sound much better.
(TINNY walks with her tuba; she's at the school, preparing for the concert. She's dejected. MACK enters, looking smug.)
N:
Before the concert, the No-Good Tuba-Tuner himself walked right up to our heroine.
MACK:
Ready for your solo, Rin-Tin-Tinny?
TINNY:
I guess. It isn't -
(Everyone pauses and looks to the NARRATOR.)
N:
I'm really hungry, do you mind if I...? (she pulls out half a sandwich)
STUDENT 3:
Yeah - take a break.
STUDENT 1:
You're doing great!
OTHERS:
(ad lib) Yeah! You're great, etc.
(TINNY gives the NARRATOR a thumbs-up; the NARRATOR smiles and starts eating. MACK and TINNY take a moment to get in character.)
MACK:
Ready for your solo, Rin-Tin-Tinny?
TINNY:
I guess. It isn't gonna sound good, though.
MACK:
Don't beat yourself up.
TINNY:
I just don't know what happened. I used to be good.
MACK:
Sometimes musicians hit a plateau.
TINNY:
I wish - I've just gotten bad. You know what the worst part is?
TINNY:
You make it look so easy. The past couple weeks, I've been going crazy, practicing all the time, and I still sound so bad. But I've been listening to you in class, and you sound even better than I did when I still played good. I never realized what a great musician you are, Mack. You really should have gotten the solo, not me.
(TINNY walks away and starts adjusting the valves on her tuba. MACK turns to his audience friend.)
MACK: I'm a jerk, aren't I? (He exits.)
(The Band Teacher approaches TINNY. She sets her tuba on it's side.)
BT:
Don't be nervous, you'll do fine.
TINNY:
Mr. Folds, why did you pick me to do the solo?
BT:
Because I thought you needed a challenge. You get by very well in class, but sometimes I think you don't work as hard as you could.Â
TINNY:
Until a couple weeks ago, I thought I was pretty great.
BT:
Because that's what everyone always told you?
BT:
It's nice to be complimented, but just because you're good doesn't mean you can't get better.
TINNY:
But I've gotten worse!
BT:
Improving can be hard work. Sometimes you get worse before you grow.
BT:
Don't stress, Tinny - just play the best you can.
(He becomes a student again. TINNY takes a deep breath and picks her tuba up by the bottom; the sock falls out of the bell. A white spotlight hits it, and the OTHERS sing a heavenly chord.)
N:
Tinny joined the rest of her class, and they marched into the auditorium. As the other sections played, Tinny felt her heart grow heavier and heavier. She was nervous and unhappy, but she focused. When Brian finished his solo, and the brass section gave the tuba intro, Tinny took a deep breath, brought the mouthpiece to her lips and...
(TINNY plays, and it is beautiful. The sound is clear and strong, and everyone jumps in surprise. TINNY, especially, is shocked. But she plays on, and the music is lovely. The narrator continues, over the music:)
N:
She had never played so well! The sock was out of her tuba, and all her practicing had made her a stronger musician than ever. With the sock stopping-up the air, Tinny had learned how to use more breath, and her tones were clear and bright. Everyone, especially Mack, noticed the difference.
MACK:
(To audience friend) I guess I helped her after all.
(TINNY finishes her solo and takes a small bow. The orchestra plays on and she addresses the audience.)
TINNY:
Mr. Folds was right! Sometimes you have to get worse so you can get better - and practicing can be boring, but if you like doing something you owe it to yourself to do it well.
(She sits and plays with the band.)
N:
Tinny never knew about the No-Good Tuba-Tuner, and he never sabatoged her again. And even if he had, she'd learned how to handle such a setback.
MACK:
(To audience friend) I'm glad she did well. I know, I'm surprised, too! But now, she's just as good as me, which means I need to work harder. She's making me up my game. And that's pretty cool. (To NARRATOR) I'm just gonna worry about myself from now on.
N:
Good plan! (She closes the book) And that's the story of Tinny Michaelson and the No-Good Tuba-Tuner. (She removes her glasses) And if you don't mind, I'm going to have some water.
(She sips from her glass. The rest of the cast stands and applauds the narrator, and then the audience. They exit. Lights down.)
