theres gonna be a gym just a few blocks from me soon. im so fucking excited. im so excited to have muscles.
i keep thinking a lot about working out. and food. but like i really enjoy working out. which is really weird because ive always been so anti-anything athletic. but not because of the activity i just hate the cultures around them.
but i really fucking like working out. i like testing the limits of what i can do. im only just starting and im genuinely quite proud of myself. my first time at the gym was leg day, which i feel is gonna have blown my portions out of the water but- i was doing 70lbs minimum (except for leg extensions, those fucked me up)
but also i know that i want to aim for 6-9 reps anyway since im trying to build muscle more than stamina i think. i think knowing that will help with tuesdays gym day because i think i can pace that better. ill probably start with 50lbs, then lower it if i need to. but i feel like i could get 6-7 lifts of 50lbs. i hope i can, and if not i guess thats a good goal to start with.
its just shocking to me that i enjoy this so much. that i enjoyed being in the gym and want to go back- with my bestie and alone. i want to go back. i want to keep going.
i really like pushing myself. i really like the burn in my thighs and my ass and my fucking shins. im excited for the burn in my shoulders and chest that will come next week. i dont like that i get a weird pain free day before it hurts, but its been routine enough that way that i can expect it for sure.
i did feel a little stupid there. like with me not realizing the hip abductor machine was set too tall and thats why i couldnt use it at first. or my headphones falling out of my pocket or carrying my shit around with me bc i didnt know i needed my own lock. but otherwise- otherwise i enjoyed it. the vibing out with my headphones and just counting my reps and i think ill be able to lock in a lot better next time. it was definitely a trial trip, a not paying too much attention to myself and just kinda taking it all in and trying my best.
i really like the stair master tho. i think i could do that for like 15mins at a lower pace. i wanna try the destination ones but im scared itll be too intense lol.
i definitely need to pace myself tho. i need to give myself a rest period between sets of at least 30-45 seconds. i have none, maybe 5-10 seconds before i get bored of breathing and go again. and then i get dizzy bc im not eating and dont drink enough water. i need to drink water, i need to pack some shorts, and i need to take rests. but i think ill be alright. i just gotta make sure i keep doing it. thats the hardest part. but i really enjoy it. just gotta make it past the holidays lol
