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WHO: Rafael & @maykangx
WHERE: Cage & Cordelia's Wedding
WHEN: October 19, 2024
Having just picked up a new drink from the bar, Rafael found himself crossing the dance floor towards an empty table, instead finding his eyes landing on one occupied by a somewhat familiar face, smiling as he recognized May. If nothing else, he knew that they could catch up, share a drink, do some people watching, making his way over to her table and gesturing towards the empty seat. "May I?"
@tangodancerxindie
It was the end of a long day, made blessedly bearable by the pop station that had blasted on the stereo while they’d worked. Benni loved her job, but there were only so many oil changes a girl could do before the day to a turn toward the monotonous. Dancing between oil drums and tool boxes kept things exciting until more complex jobs rolled in. By the end of the day she’d replaced brake pads, windshield wipers, filters, and a serpentine belt. Not exactly challenging work, but music kept things lively.
Moving like she was on the set of Footloose, Benni shimmied her way over to May’s workstation, borrowed ratchet in hand. “I believe this is yours, little bird,” she said, giving the ratchet a wiggle before wedging it into the ratchet shaped hole in May’s toolbox. Tool returned to its proper place, Benni swished her hips toward her friend and co-worker, moving to the beat still pumping from the speakers. Once she was close enough, Benni turned her back to May, pressed her butt against the younger mechanic, grabbed just above her knees, and started twerking against her.
“What are you doing after work?” asked Benni, still dancing against May like it was her job. “Do you want to get drinks? One drink, and an appetiser we can share. I’m feeling nachos. Say yes.”
successfully managed to convince myself that i’m not really bipolar yesterday afternoon. i’m not mentally ill at all!
decided to mop the building floors at 2:30 in the morning
spent my pay cheque on late mother’s day presents for both my grandma and my mother who is depressed and will feel better with two ridiculously expensive purses apparently
i went into my room to get my keys at 4 p.m. today, when i came out it was 5:50 and my tea was cold. what the fuck happened during that time? who the fuck knows!
i’m perfectly fine!
Right now it is 2 in the morning and I'm feeling so full of love and life and forgiveness and optimism and I'm feeling so much of it, love and art and hope, this warm, bright vastness that I'm almost scared it will die out when I get back on my meds, turn into something numb and cold, make me feel like a shell of who I was the way it happened last time. I used to be scared that the medication would kill whatever excitement I felt for life, whatever intensity I had in me, and whatever creativity and talent I loved and for the most part I was wrong. It wasn't until I tried the last combo of meds that everything in my head turned to fog, grey and clumsy and numb and useless, but I still have hope it won't be like that this time. I can see clearly now, for the most part. My depressive episodes have been getting worse, my mixed ones are as terrifying as ever, and I am objectively scared that something bad might happen if I don't get my shit together before the next one happens. I am scared of dullness and numbness, but maybe it doesn't have to be that way. I want to live.
