#mayas thoughts

[slushsoda]

halfway through my 4th tgr reread and GOD Cat and Jean's friendship means everything to me

"She smelled of jasmine and vanilla, not blackberries and sea salt. He latched onto that to keep himself here and now even as his heart wanted to swallow him whole."

like that part just made me so emotional

[slushsoda]

when the reread turns into understanding kevin day on a whole other level

[slushsoda]

watching 15 year old emo music videos to feel something again

[slushsoda]

when youre too broke for fanmade merch but remember you can hand sew and use old clothes (this is gonna be how i spend my time at school for the next few weeks)

[slushsoda]

we are so back (rereading a klance fic i read in the 7th grade in the middle of the night)

[slushsoda]

jean and cody's friendship is so incredibly important to jean's growth? ik a few people have talked about this on here but genuinely it never fails to warm my heart

jeremy finding jean's easy acceptance of cody's company intriguing but also a very happy change

jean finding himself waiting in the locker room for the others with a fruit cody had brought for him, how he cradled both the peach and the apricot

cody taking jean to dining halls so they can get some food while jean eats his meal prepped food and chattering away or enjoying comfortable silence, and that comfortable silence being a direct quote from one of jean's chapters, showing that he is comfortable with them

cody joining jeremy and jean sitting outside on a friday with a box of strawberries, with jeremy making a face towards the fruit and jean savoring the tang of the strawberries

like these things just bring another positive experience with food for jean, and a bit of a bonding experience for him and one of his teammates, and i find it so sweet and so very important, not to mention some of the other things we've seen so far in the books

[slushsoda]

looking back on an animatic idea I have written down for the foxes and the song all these things that i have done (the killers) and I was COOKING oh my GOD I need to learn how to make an animatic STAT

[slushsoda]

"It is a lot of mess for a little thing."

oh, jean moreau, how much this sentence ebbs and flows with your being and conflictions, how much it connects to the pain and healing you have gone through and will go through

his expression of calmness for the first time in the pottery class, his concentration, his seeming semi-absence in the moment. how it correlates to him and the kindness he has been shown, the reality that he had not lived a normal life, how these sweet friendly moments between his friends and team have showed him more than he has ever known. jean moreau how important you are to me