the best way to describe how i feel right now is like i’ve been broken up with…it truly feels like that debilitating sadness you get after someone you loved broke up with you suddenly. it wasn’t what you were expecting, it was sudden, it was shocking, it left you reeling and confused. you’re re-thinking all these little moments, wondering where you went wrong and what you read wrong. you feel confused, hurt, and everytime you try to re-direct yourself to something else you just can’t. everything reminds you of the person you lost - colours, their favorite songs, jokes…you just feel like a part of you is gone. and you’re also holding onto this stupid, stupid hope that maybe they’ll come back, they’ll call you, so you can at least talk about it. you’d settle for anything if you could just have a conversation.
that’s how i feel. like i’d settle for anything if they just talked. i have stupid hope that maybe things will work out, but i’m terrified. love songs, yellow and blue…everything reminds me of them. this is so sad.
i never lived through destiel, and i joined the supernatural fandom last year. now, most people just joke about it. i found out about the 2024 election results through that meme…it’s not something that ever really hurt me. it’s just angst in the fandom now, but i know it left scars on queer people. i know it did, because tons of people talk about it still to this day. and it’s been five years.
i wish i didn’t, but now i know how you guys feel. i’m so, so sorry. this is so painful.