This set of paintings at this antique store are so mysterious and cool as hell?! The tag just says "unsigned" and they're $450. Theyre on two huge canvasas like 5 feet tall. Has anyone seen anything like them?!
May didn’t want to get her hopes up because she and Ryland had officially been trying to conceive a baby for nine months, and if they’d been lucky the first time, they’d have one by now. She’d been dreading this month a little more every single time she had to break the news to Ry that she wasn’t pregnant. Again.
A year ago now, they’d attended a fundraising event on Ames’ behalf, a luncheon that was raising money for a local women’s clinic. May and Ry had gotten to hold several babies, the beneficiaries of donated baby clothes and supplies, whose mothers had gotten inexpensive or free prenatal care which had allowed those chubby, perfect little gurglers to be born in an uncomplicated way, healthy and strong. Listening to the doctors and nurses thank the donors that night, and go on and on about the advances in medical technology that were helping lower maternal and infant mortality rates, planted the seed of a wild idea in May’s head. It hadn’t been safe twenty years before. Was it safer now?
She’d been afraid to bring it up for a few days, but the idea had hooked into her brain and wouldn’t let her go. To try to get rid of the nagging thought, she’d reminded herself of the least pleasant babysitting experiences she’d ever had: babysitting Leo and Rogan as toddlers, heathens who liked to climb furniture and turn the knobs on the stove if you turned your back for too long, and cranky newborn Lief who could puke and pee all at the same time, all while May was trying to change his already soiled diaper.
Maybe it had just been too many years since her nieces and nephews had been babies, maybe the trauma was fading. Something reckless inside of her made her want to try despite the bad memories. She didn’t think she could be a better mom than her older sisters, but maybe she’d learned enough from them not to be a total disaster?
She gathered up the courage to mention it to Ryland in the most casual way she could, on a hike through a secluded section of the Angeles national park. She’d been expecting resistance, even annoyance; they’d always known they’d never have children and they’d lived a pretty great life built around the freedom that being childless allowed them. But when she offhandedly asked, “Do you ever wish that we had our own children?” the look on his face was pure relief.
He’d been thinking the same persistent, crazy thoughts she had for days, but he would never have suggested she risk her health for such a thing.
Over the following week they began discussing options in the most general way possible. Neither of them wanted to get too specific yet, they were trying to keep themselves from wanting this too much, and it was too early to know if it was even realistic.
They could adopt a child at any age, an attractive choice that could always be revisited later because it did not depend on the performance of May’s heart or uterus. They could use a surrogate, someone they knew and loved and trusted, someone who would be in the baby’s life forever. At that point, a few days into their discussion, May began looking for advice from America on the condition of absolute secrecy. She wanted to know if America had any bright ideas for a surrogate, and she did. Ames immediately volunteered to have the baby.
This toyed with May’s hopes enough to make her cry right then and there. On the one hand, America had had five beautiful, perfect babies, and was completely capable of making more. The fact that this wasn’t just something Ames was willing to do, but something that she seemed excited to do, was more than May could stand. But on the other hand, America was the Queen of Illéa, and the laws surrounding her uterus were fairly specific, though totally archaic. There would have to be a major legislative push to allow the Queen to give birth to a baby that wasn’t the King’s, and though Ames was a capable legislator, May didn’t think she could reasonably ask that of her sister. Not to mention, it could take years at this point and the amendment or repeal could still fail.
America and May also knew that Kenna would be more than happy to help out, but the condition of her heart wasn’t really all that better than May’s these days. It wouldn’t make sense to ask Kenna before trying for herself.
So in the end, May ended up with Ryland in the hospital wing of the Palace, discussing her options with the brightest minds in several fields of medicine. There was a fertility expert, a cardiac expert, and an obstetrician, all talking very quickly, using enormous words that May wished Gerad was there to decode for her. By the end of her checkup, the doctors had presented her with a plan to safely, healthily have her own baby. It involved changing some of the medications she took for her heart, and adding a new mix of medications to aid her circulatory system, but each individual doctor agreed that it was a great plan and, barring any unforeseen complications, would result in a healthy baby.
From then on, it was up to May and Ryland to decide that they were ready to go through with this, and then to make it happen.
She’d stopped taking her birth control tablets 10 months ago, which meant that nine months ago would have been the first time she possibly could have conceived. The doctors had offered her the same fertility medicines that America and Kenna had once used to conceive Addy, Leo, and Rogan. May didn’t trust her body to bring twins to term without serious complications though, so she and Ry both agreed to stay away from those. If they were going to have a baby, they’d make it on their own.
Except, they hadn’t. Over and over again, they hadn’t. She’d begun to wonder how long she could do this to herself, how much disappointment she could bear before she broke down.
So this month when her period hadn’t come for a full week after it was due, she’d reluctantly scheduled an appointment with the obstetrician from her panel of experts. She knew it was probably stress-related, or maybe some other hormones in her body were out of balance, or any other of the myriad of reasons this kind of thing could happen. She didn’t want to think that, exactly 9 months after they’d hoped for a baby, she and Ryland might finally be getting one.
Ry kept her company while she waited for blood test results. As they bided their time, they planned their next overseas trip, wanting to squeeze Italy onto their itineraries before swinging through England to visit friends. Ry kept May calm, though her stomach was a tangle of electric eels. She just wanted this over with. She was tired, she wanted to think about something else. Maybe it was time to consider artificial implantation? Or maybe revisit the surrogate option again, and this time see if anyone outside of the family was interested?
But when the obstetrician returned, she didn’t leave them in suspense for a second longer. She closed the door so that they had privacy and immediately said, “It’s a positive test, Duchess.”
May didn’t want to believe it. “Does that mean… what are the chances it’s wrong?”
“Slim to none, but let’s take a look and see what we’ve got.” she said seriously, and with the press of a button the doctor awakened the ultrasound machine May had only ever seen used on her sisters.
Ry’s hand was shanking in hers when she met his eyes. She licked her dry lips nervously as she leaned back on the examination table. She had to stop herself from apologizing for the excited, borderline-panicked expression on his face. He had his hopes up, exactly what she’d wanted to avoid.
The jelly on her stomach was cold enough to make her squirm, and it sat atop her skin rather than sinking in, a slippery barrier. It took a moment after the doctor gently pressed the wand to May’s lower stomach before she found what she was looking for. She moved the stick around a little this way or that way until she was seeing what she wanted to see. She turned the screen around so that May and Ry could see, too.
It all looked like inscrutable grey and black blobs to her. She’d seen all of her nieces and nephews except Astra in this way, but she still couldn’t decipher what the grainy, fuzzy images were supposed to be.
“The uterine lining is thickened in exactly the way we’d expect it to be for a healthy pregnancy, and if you look right there,” she pointed at the lower section of the small black oval in the middle of the screen, “That’s the baby.”
May’s jaw dropped. It looked like a splotch of gray paint on a black palette, not a baby. “Are you sure?”
The doctor finally smiled, “Absolutely positive.”
It didn’t have arms or legs or discernible features of any kind yet, it was just a little blob of paint. May knew from experience, however, what kind of amazing art could come from a simple blob of paint.
Ry traced his thumb on her cheek and it came away wet. May sniffled heavily, realizing she’d started crying at some point. He pressed a kiss to her lips, far, far beyond the words to express how happy he was.
The doctor said, “You’ve still got a lot of milestones to hit before this baby is a sure-thing, but from everything I’ve seen, I’d say you’re off to a promising start. I’m going to send copies of your blood test results and this ultrasound to the other doctors on your team. Congratulations, May. You’re pregnant.”
What happened next was a blur. At some point the doctor cleaned off May’s stomach and left the room, handing Ryland a printed photograph of the ultrasound image of their baby.
Ry wrapped May in the warmest, sweetest hug she’d ever had and kissed her temple dozens of times.
May dug in and found her words first, “I’ve never been this happy in my entire life.”
Ry laughed, though he clearly agreed, and said, “What about our wedding?”
“Fine, yes, our wedding.” May rolled her eyes. “I just meant… I wanted this more than I thought I did. I had no idea how much it was slowly killing me not to be pregnant after trying for as long as we have… and now that anvil is off my shoulders and I just… I can’t—“ she lost the words again, but he understood. This ranked as one of the best days of their lives.
Ry sank to one knee and let his hands fall from her back around to her hips. He used his thumbs to brush her tiny navel, and met her eyes with pure delight. “All that matters in the whole wide world to me anymore is keeping you and this baby safe. I think I used to care about other things too, but I can’t remember what they are for the life of me.”
May giggled, and then she placed a hand on his cheek in a gentle caress. “We’re still going to Italy and England though, right?”
Ry didn’t miss a beat, “If the doctors say it’s safe, then we’ll go. If the doctors say it isn’t safe, then who cares about Italy and England? Our friends can come visit us for a change, they’ll understand.”
“Yeah,” May gloated, “It’s only until November. Let them suffer the jet lag for a while.”
“That’s right.” Ry stood back up and kissed her again, leaving his lips on hers for several seconds longer than usual. Then he leant back and chuckled at a thought that had just flitted through his mind. “Your family is going to spontaneously combust when they find out about this. They didn’t even know we were really trying!”
May giggled, imagining the shrieks her sisters would emit, the way Maxon and James would blatantly grow misty-eyed at the news that they’d have another baby niece or nephew to spoil in just a few short months. “Hey, I want to tell Ames and Kenna tonight.” May said. “I know there’s still a high chance of miscarriage, but I wouldn’t want to suffer through a miscarriage without their support.”
“Okay.” Ry didn’t argue; it was entirely her choice.
“But after them, let’s not tell anyone for a long time.”
“Who, like your mother?”
“I’ll tell her eventually, but I was really talking about the public.”
“You don’t want to have a huge baby announcement?” Ry clarified. He was surprised but not dismayed.
“I want this time to be ours, just for us and the people closest to us. I’ll tell mom in a couple of months, but do you think… How long do you think we can avoid telling the public?”
Ry shrugged, “I guess it depends. I mean, they’ll figure it out when they see you at the Halloween, just a few weeks shy of full-term, won’t they? Or Rosie’s birthday? Or Maxon’s birthday? Maybe even the Grateful Feast Parade?”
“Yeah.” May sighed. Baby rumors haunted Ryland and her all the time, the tabloids would figure this out pretty quickly. “Unless… maybe I don’t go this year… Maybe I just… relax in private? Stay away from cameras?”
This shocked Ry. His wife was a media starlet, she loved using her fame to help Ames and Maxon stay in the people’s favor. She’d never taken a break from public appearances before, not once, not even when she was sick or exhausted. “May, are you sure?”
“I don’t even know if it would work, but I think it might be nice to try.” May shrugged. “I’ve given the public a lot of myself over the years, but this—“ She placed her right wrist on her left hip so that her arm hugged her stomach, “I want this to be ours.”
“It’s ambitious,” Ryland admitted with admiration in his voice, “but if anyone can do it, you can.”
May grinned up at him. “Ry?”
“Yes, May?”
“We’re having a baby.” she beamed.
“I know.” he laughed, pulling her in for a tight hug.
after Ryland was shot while saving the whole Schreave royal family from a Romanov-style tragedy at the hands of the rebels, and was subsequently promoted to the royal family’s personal guard, he got a private room in the barracks instead of sharing like most of the new recruits. But he was still injured and weaker than usual when it was time for him to move, so May went and helped him carry boxes over to his new quarters. Other guards helped with the heavy stuff, but it was important to May that she be there, keeping a close eye on Ry to make sure he didn’t re-injure himself. And they hadn’t even gone on a first date yet. 😘
