#mayorford

[undergroundcanada]

"The Taste of Toronto" 

If y'all are ever hungry I would definitely recommend some FORD FLAKES lolol

You guys better go get them RIGHT NOW! Only 500 boxes are being sold

The cereal, promises a taste of Toronto , a mix of flakes, honey and almond granola

[beastvid-blog]

New Post has been published on BEASTVID

New Post has been published on http://beastvid.com/mike-tyson-live-tv-meltdown/

Mike Tyson Live TV Meltdown

While visiting Toronto Mike Tyson met with mayor elect Rob Ford and showered Ford with praise for the upcoming election. This bought of confidence from Tyson was quickly devalued when three days later he was on live news tv, asked about his convicted rapist past and proceed to have a complete meltdown. That’s one scary guy to remind about his rapey times…

[jeffboulton]

Rex Murphy nails it when it comes to @TOMayorFord. #TOpoli   #MayorFord http://click-to-read-mo.re/p/86YZ/5253e714

[realrobfordfiction]

Rob and the Argonauts - Chapter 3

The next day I still had worries about fat Dougie, but I was pretty confident that the taxpayer would never support him. I got dressed, ate two plates of pancakes with a litre of syrup, six sausages, a bakers dozen of muffins, some chocolate croissants and a tub of ice cream. Man, this diet is killing me!!!

Then I went to the football field for training. The thing about Rehab, and what most people don’t know, is that there are a lot of famous people who go to Rehab. When I arrived I was sworn to secrecy about who was staying here. I couldn’t even tell my good buddy, Joey W, at the world-class newspaper where he writes a column about how fantastic I am! “Sorry, Joe, Scouts honor!”

Anyway, like I was saying to Joey W. “The Argonauts quarterback is staying here as is the captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs, as well as that guy who anchors the City News at Six. There’s also some sweet honeys, like this one chick from E-Talk. She’s the host, I think, and the actress who starred in Anne of Green Gables, you’ll have to look her up on the Internets. But I’ll never give up their names, so dont’ even go there, Joey.”

So they’re all playing football and I walk onto the field and say, “Hey guys, can I join?” but they ignore me. Which makes me feel mad and pissed off and I feel like a drink.

Then I see Dr. Fonz and I tell him that the other patients won’t let me play with them and I’m losing patience and he’s all like Rob maybe you got to be nicer to them. I sit on the bench and watch them play. They’re sweating and laughing and then I start laughing even though they’re probably laughing at me.

Then I think about calling my bud Sandro and getting these assholes whacked and so I walk over to reception and pick up the phone.

“Yo, Sandro,” I said.

“Tuba, is that you?” It felt good to hear my bud’s voice.

“Sure is, bro.”

He got all quiet like the way he did when we went on one of those coke binges in his mom’s basement and 36 hours later I’m in a bikini and he’s all sweaty in his underwear and we’re watching a Three Stooges marathon on TBS.

“You freebasing?”

“Not over the phone, Tuba.”

“Shit. I know. Man, so sorry.”

The phone tap had been six months by then and Sandro was getting ready for a stint in the big house. I knew he was ready to do anything for me before he went to jail.

“Look, man, I need you to do a hit for me. I need these famous fuckers whacked!”

“Who?”

“Guys at rehab.” I whispered so Dr. Fonz, who was standing beside me, wouldn’t hear a thing. Dr. was none the wiser but he was doing one of those faceplam meme things. Not sure why.

“Sorry, man, no can do. I got business today.”

“What business.” I screamed and my face got all red. Then I kicked the desk and I saw Dr. Fonz call for security.

“I’m helping Doug," he blurted out.

“Helping fat Doug with what?" I demanded.

Dr. Fonz came over and grabbed my shoulder. Then I saw the celeb jocks, who I was ready to put a hit on, stop and stare at me. Fucking celebrity peer pressure. Then the security guards came over and restrained me. Man I hate Mondays!

As I was pulled away from the phone I heard Sandro hang up. I imagined him putting on his high school football jacket and fat Dougie and him cruising East Etobicoke, nailing signs to lawns, holding babies. Then I pictured Mom and how proud she was of me when I won the election and how she made me that banana chocolate cake on election night and I ate the whole thing and then I pictured her making fat Dougie his favourite cake and her saying, “Rob who?” I screamed like crazy. Kicked the desk where the phone was and attacked a nurse. I bit her arm and it reminded me of Swiss Chalet quarter chicken dinner.

Security dragged me into a padded room and installed a thing on my head. Dr. Fonz came into the room and told me this was for the best. Five seconds later I felt a shock and then another and one more after that. It felt good. I popped a big one in my pants. Boner city!

In a daze I looked out the tiny window on the door. Through it Dr. Fonz looked like a space alien. He was angelic - like an angel with wings. I lay there and collected my thoughts. Then I fell asleep and dreamt I was transported on a big ass rocket ship to a better rehab, a rehab close to the moon! But still warm and not made of cheese. And there was a dome there - like the Rogers Centre where I was captain of the rehab football team. I had made it. I was in space rehab!

[allthekingswalls-blog]

#mayorford

[undergroundcanada]

TUBA PLAYER WANTED

LOL this is why is I love Craigslist

[jeffboulton]

Looks like @TOMayorFord's workouts came in handy today. #TOpoli   #MayorFord http://click-to-read-mo.re/p/69Lt

[undergroundcanada]

ROB FORD CAUGHT IMPAIRED... AGAIN

Happy St. Pat's Robby! 

Honestly it's not a big deal. Clearly our favourite Mayor is intoxicated but it's not like he's doing anything outrageous. 

Give him a break. Don't waste your time even watching the video.

There is no substance