Riverdale, White Chapel (my babysitter's a vampire), and Beacon Hills (teen wolf) combine into one town for a Billy Elliot sing along
Mcargent:
‘Twas a dusty day in Beacon Hills. The annual Billy Fest was today, but trouble was afoot. Melissa and Christ were already dressed in their leotards ready for the dance and sing along. They knew all the words and the moves and they were ready to compete against the other couples. They were ready to shine.
Stydia:
Stiles called for Lydia. He needed her help adjusting his indigo turtleneck leotard. Lydia’s was already on. He was going to make them late if he didn’t quit messing around. She fixed his straps and kicked his shin for making them rush.
Sandal:
Toni Topaz and her girlfriend Candle Beandip were already in full Billy Elliot printed leotards. No matter what the others thought, the girls knew they’d win. They were cheerleaders after all.
Sethan:
Sara and Ethan weren’t ready at all. They didn’t even have their leotards on, much less their tutus. They were running out of glitter and time was running out.
Bughead:
Betty Cooper helped Cody Martin into his leotard. They’d ordered them a few years in advance and it seemed he’d grown too large for this one. Whatever. They’d all just have to deal with him in a too tight leotard.
Rerica:
Out of all of the couples, Rory and Erica were the most hardcore fans. Not only did they dress in full costume, but they’d been rehearsing their performance for months. The total cost of all their costumes and props and special effects was 76 million dollars. They were here to win. This was no game.
Mcargent:
The couple held hands as they drove in their lime green convertible tractor trailer truck. The wind blew through their Billy Elliot wigs. They were almost to the post office auditorium. The sun was setting and it was time.
Stydia:
The two glided together hand in hand. Their matching turtleneck leotards and their heelies made for a romantic night. Stiles handed Lydia a gift: three diamond studded kung fu panda 2 DVD’s. Lydia began to cry tears of joy. Stiles embraced her and they heelied on to the auditorium.
Sandal:
The girls walked down the street while hugging. They were excited for the showing and competition. They already had their tap shoes on. Candle gently placed Toni’s Billy Elliot headband on her head. Toni smiled happily at the kind gesture.
Sethan:
They’d finally found their glitter and placed it everywhere on their bodies and costumes. They even put in glitter eye drops and glitter fairy wings. Billy would be proud of them. They were going to crush Billy Fest.
Bughead:
Cody martins too tight leotard was starting to squeeze his massive thighs in all the wrong ways. Betty was worried for him. What if he got squeezed to death??? She was close to tears.
Rerica:
They were pumped. They’d already drunk five hundred five hour energies so they would stay hype for the night. Rory could feel his heart telling him secrets and Erica had to tell him that if his heart was telling him things that they wouldn’t be secrets anymore. They put on their leg warmers as they flew to the post office. They were determined.
Mccargent:
They had taken their seats at the front of the stadium.
“Wow, babe,” Chris said. “I can’t believe you took Scort’s money to get us these great seats.”
Melissa smiled lovingly. “I took his kidney while he was sleeping and sold it on the dark web.”
“Your son, Scalpel, really deserved that. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
And the musical started. There was Tom Holland leaping and pirouetting his way to everyone’s hearts. Every couple was sitting in their seats, singing and crying and screaming for Billy. And then it was time for the competition. Melissa and Chris took their seats at the judges table. They’d be the judges tonight.
Stydia:
Stiles walked Lydia onto the stage, taking their places side by side and dropping their heads until the music started. Tom’s voice flooded the auditorium bringing great joy. Stiles and Lydia did their dance, singing along with the track and doing backflips off of eachother. Their big finish was blasting confetti bombs from the sleeves of their turtleneck leotards.
Sandal:
The girls walked onto stage next. Their shoes tapped against the wood and their headbands bobbed on their heads. There was no music, but they perfectly recreated the song Electricity with only their tap shoes and whistle tones.
Sethan:
Sara and Ethan tracked glitter onto the stage. They strapped onto their flying rigs and the music started. They did perfect aerial acrobatics, dropping glitter from above, raining onto the judges. They sang to the karaoke track and belted from five hundred feet in the air. Their vocals were spot on.
Bughead:
Betty and Cody Martin went next. Betty was worried about her boyfriend. But as they started their routine, she knew what he was doing. In the middle of their act, he ripped his too tight leotard off to reveal an extravagant, perfectly identical costume for Billy Elliot. Betty burst into tears, trying her best to incorporate her emotions into the routine.
Rerica:
Rory and Erica walked on with peak confidence. They strutted their stuff and turned around. From below the stage rose a full orchestra and band. Two microphones rose as well. The couple took the microphones.
“This one goes out to Scooter McCall!” Erica yelled. “May he die soon!”
Their routine was spectacular. They had full choreography, a ballet solo each, live elephants, and a mariachi band. They knew they’d win for sure.
McCargent:
Melissa and Chris sent the contestants away.
“They were all so magical, God,” Melissa told her husband.
“They really were,” he agreed.
Melissa looked through everyone’s headshots. “I guess there’s only one thing we can do.”
Christ nodded. “You’re right.
Melissa whistled in four part harmony by herself. Out from behind the curtains walked Tom Holland himself.
“I’m here to help ya,” he said.
“Thank you, Tom. Thank you, Tom’s frog,” the couple said to the boy.
“I’ll decide. You two go bring in the contestants,” he said.
The couple left the stage and brought everyone in. At the sight of Mr. Holland, Cody Martin, Candle Beandip, and Ethan fainted. The rest screamed loudly, crying automatically and singing in harmony. Tom smiled at them as everyone came to their senses.
“I’m going to announce the winner,” Tom said. He cleared his throat. “The winner is…………” he held it out for nineteen point three minutes. “CLARKE GRIFFIN AND MADI!”
Out from behind the curtains came Clarke and Madi dressed in perfect Spiderman costumes. They had done a secret audition and they had won.
Tom grasped their hands. “Clarke and Madi have won this year’s Billy Fest! You will get to spend the year with me in the Alps!”
Clarke was crying while hugging her daughter. The other couples were angry but they knew Clarke was a great dancer, they could never live up to her talent.
Melissa and Chris shook the winners’ hands. “We’re very proud of you! I’m so happy for you! Our son, Snot, could never be as amazing as you! As any of you really,” they said, turning to the group of losers. “You all did so well tonight it was so hard to choose. Scotch tape could never be like any of you. I really appreciate you all letting me call you my children!”
Everyone cried, going into a big group hug. No one was sad anymore everyone knew they’d lost for all the right reasons. There was always next year.
And so Melissa and Chris took all their children home for a celebratory dinner, even Tom came. Everyone bonded and no one talked about Scoobot McCall. They even had a dance battle to the Reba theme song.
SMFTEOT1 = Shawn Mendes from that episode of the 100
It was #datenight for the two most stable couples in Beacon Hills. Melissa McCall and Christopher were ready to meet up with Lincoln and Octavia from Arkadia. They’d never met before, but somehow both decided to have their dinner date together at Sheriff Stilinski’s house while he was on duty. He wouldn’t mind. Melissa and Christ were dressed to the nines the former wearing a dazzling tuxedo and the latter a sparkling maroon ball gown. They both had matching heels.
Lincoln and Octavia on the other hand went for comfort. Octavia wore a pink sweatsuit like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls. Lincoln wore a simple suit accessorizing with a tall top hat and an aesthetic fake beard. They were ready to meet the other date goers.
The two couples showed up on Sheriff’s doorstep. They made polite conversation and introduced themselves to eachother while Melissa broke into the house with her credit card. Finally they made it in and the couples sat at the table. Christ would be cooking for them. He went into the kitchen and broke the glass of the wine cabinet and got them a bottle of wine.
“Thanks honeybun,” Melissa said.
“Thank you good sir,” Lincoln said and Octavia nodded in agreement.
“You’re welcome m’folks,” Christ replied.
He left the room to rummage through the fridge for some kind of food for dinner, eventually settling on spaghetti and an entire pot roast Sheriff had been saving for his family reunion.
Melissa sat with Lincoln and Octavia.
“So how are the kids?” she asked them.
“We have no kids,” Lincoln said.
“What a wonderful life you live. I sure wish I didn’t have a kid,” Melissa said.
“You have a kid?” Octavia asked. Melissa nodded. “Daughter or son?”
“We aren’t sure,” Melissa said. “He’s dead now.”
“Oh,” Lincoln sat, tipping his top hat. “I’m so sorry.”
Melissa laughed happily. “Don’t be sorry. It’s what she deserves.”
“What was it’s name?” Octavia asked.
Melissa shuddered and cringed, stumbling over the grotesque name. “Scott.”
Lincoln and Octavia made a face. “Ew.”
Christ came into the dining room with a pot of spaghetti and an entire pot roast. “Dinner is served!”
He sat with his wife and the four ate Sheriff Stilinksi’s food.
“This is divine,” Octavia said.
Melissa nodded. “It sure is,” she said through a mouthful of noods.
“It’s so voluptuous and saucy,” Lincoln said. “I enjoy this very much.”
“Thank you,” Christ said, then turned around to the strange man at the piano. “Hit it Maestro!”
The pianist played delicately and gracefully, plunking out the correct keys to play a perfect rendition of Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson.
When the chorus hit, the four companions sang aloud, screeching out “HEY YA’LL!” and “YEEHAW!”. Christ even stood atop the table, shaking his bon bons and twerking it out.
That’s when SMFTEOT1 and Derek showed. They had smelled Redneck Woman from all the way at the coffee shop. It wasn’t awkward anymore between Derek and Christ because they had reconciled and still shared custody of Allison and Ballpoint Pen.
SMFTEOT1 really knew how to strut his stuff. Everyone gave him an entire dance solo which he executed expertly. He even sang along. Derek danced with him and the others whooped and shouted from the sides of the table. It was a bangin house party now. The group of couples danced with eachother to the piano music of their favorite songs and finally when the night got dark and the party songs became none other than The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song, they all slow danced together in a group, everyone holding hands and swaying to the romantic notes. They all shared a group hung and left Sheriff’s house without cleaning or putting away any food.
I'm pretty sure Melissa will cry when they go through the longest period of Scott being safe and okay since he was in his early teens. And I like to imagine that Chris will be there with her one night when she just breaks down because she's always holding her breath and she says she's felt like she could breathe easier lately. And Chris says that after feeling like he'd never breathe again when Allison died, it got easier for him to breathe too, because the worst already happened.
chris feels it as much as she does though. since he came back after allison, scott’s been like a son to him, and he feels like a father to all of them- scott, lydia, malia, even liam and mason. he feels responsible and heart weary and just as relieved and grateful as melissa for every moment of peace and ray of hope on the horizon. chris cries with her too, when they talk about it. about how heavy everything has been weighing on them the last few years, how they never expected it to ever get that bad and how powerless it made them feel. unable to protect their own children from the world, not even from themselves or their own small town or their own choices. they cry again talking about how proud they are of scott, of lydia and stiles and malia and even kira and isaac wherever they may be, for always trying their hardest, for being the best people they can be under all this bullshit that was thrown at them for so long.. way too soon. for growing up when they never asked for any of it; for being heroes. chris wipes away a tear from melissa’s cheek as he brings her close and they sigh deeply into each other. they know they’ve done what they can. and they know that it was good. their children are the proof.
