Plug n play second task - To chose a story/film and write a song illustrating it lyrically. (2/10/17)
Our task - ‘to individually Write a song, with music (chords and melody) and lyrics, in which you tell a story in the true sense of plotting with a beginning, a middle and an ending. You, the singer, are either truly or imaginatively recalling a personal event, or reflecting on an event experienced by someone you know, or retelling the story of another person that you know of. You, as the singer may even act as a camera’s eye or reporter, so to speak, in recalling an event without any personal knowledge.’
In the lecture, Chloe gave us some information to help us decide on the type of story song would finally choose. There are three basic lyrical strategies of songwriting in songs, Perspective, situation or story based.
Firstly, the Perspective strategy is by far the most used type of lyrical strategy. The singer expresses an emotion or attitude about something or someone. It’s their perspective, in terms of outlook or feelings on a given situation.
An example of a Perspective strategy could be Madonna,’Like a virgin’
‘I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn't know how lost I was until I found you
I was beat incomplete
I'd been had I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah you made me feel shiny and new...
Hey
Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a v-i-r-g-i-n
When your heart beats next to mine
Gonna give you all my love boy
My fear is fading fast
Been saving it all for you 'cause only love can last
You're so fine and you're mine
Make me strong yeah you make me bold
Oh, your love thawed out
Yeah your love thawed out what was getting cold
Like a virgin
Hey
Touched for the very first time
Like a v-i-r-g-i-n
With your heart beat next to mine
Whoa oh-oh-oh
Whoa oh-oh-oh, ah
Whoa oh-oh-oh
You're so fine and you're mine
I'll be yours 'til the end of time
'Cause you made me feel
Yeah you made me feel I've nothing to hide
Like a virgin
Hey
Touched for the very first time
Like a v-i-r-g-i-n
With your heartbeat next to mine
Like a virgin
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Like a virgin
Feels so good inside
When you hug me and your heart beats and you love me
Oh-oh whoa oh-oh-oh-oh ‘
The lyrics tell a story from her point of view ( perspective) for example,
“I didn't know how lost I was until I found you”
This lyric has a sense of reflecting on on the speakers past. She is also longing and dreaming of someone,“you”.
Longing, dreaming, thinking and reflecting are all common themes in a perspective strategy of writing.
Secondly, the siuation strategy is the second most used type of song plot. The singer reacts to or takes action in response to a given situation or circumstances he or she is involved in.
An example of situation strategy is Michael Jackson, ‘Billie Jean’
[Verse 1]
‘She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
I said don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round
She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round
She told me her name was Billie Jean
As she caused a scene
Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round
[Pre-Chorus 1]
People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
And mother always told me be careful of who you love
And be careful of what you do cause the lie becomes the truth
[Chorus]
Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son
[Verse 2]
For forty days and for forty nights, the law was on her side
But who can stand when she's in demand?
Her schemes and plans
Cause we danced on the floor in the round
So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice
(Don't think twice) Do think twice! (hoo)
She told my baby we'd danced till three, then she looked at me
Then showed a photo of a baby crying, his eyes were like mine (oh no)
Cause we danced on the floor in the round, baby
[Pre-Chorus 2]
People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
She came and stood right by me
Then the smell of sweet perfume
This happened much too soon
She called me to her room
[Chorus]
Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son
Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son
She says I am the one
She says she is the one
She says I am the one
[Outro]
Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover
Billie Jean is not my lover ‘
Common action examples in a situation song are: leaving, drinking, dancing, asking for forgiveness and returning home.
A lot of these actions feature in the lyrical ideas in ‘Billie Jean'. The speaker in the song is emotionally and physically leaving the subject, this is clear in the lyrics “Billie Jean is not my lover”.
Dance is also another key theme in the lyrics of this song “ we danced on the floor in the round”.
Thirdly, Narrative strategy, story songs, These are the most challenging type of song plot to write. The singer tells the story and plots out a beginning, middle and ending. The singer either recalls a personal event, or reflects on an event experienced by someone they know or retells the story of another person they only know of. The singer could be seen as a reporter or even a “camera’s eye’, without any personal information or knowledge.
An example of a narrative song strategy is Johnny Cash, ‘ A boy named sue’
[Verse 1]
‘My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."
[Verse 2]
Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."
[Verse 3]
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean
My fist got hard and my wits got keen
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name
[Verse 4]
Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew
At an old saloon on a street of mud
There at a table, dealing stud
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."
[Verse 5]
Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye
He was big and bent and gray and old
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now you're going to die!!"
[Verse 6]
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer
[Verse 7]
I tell you, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile
[Verse 8]
And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong
[Verse 9]
He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do
But ya ought to thank me, before I die
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Because I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you Sue
[Verse 10]
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son
And I came away with a different point of view
And I think about him, now and then
Every time I try and every time I win
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!’
This song covers the 5 elements of story plots- Exposition, Rising action, Climax, falling action and resolution
I’ll use the lyrics of “A boy named sue” to illustrate these five elements,
Exposition, setting the scene - The listener learns that the speaker's father left him when he was young and that the only thing that his father contributed to him was his name. “ My daddy left home when I was three”...”he went and named me ‘Sue.’”
Rising action - The listener is informed more background information about the speaker, it isn't until verse four, some drama is added to the story. We are told the speaker sees his father for the first time since he walked out on him. “ There at a table, dealing stud, Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me ‘Sue.’” This adds to the tension in the story.
Climax- This occurs in verse 6, at the peak of tension and drama. The speaker get into a fight! “Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear”
Falling action- The tension and drama starts to lessen, The fight calms between the characters. The speaker, in a rather unorthodox way, compliments his father for the first time. “ I tell you, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when “. This is a change of emotional direction between the characters also.
Resolution- The story concludes with the speaker and his father on better terms. He realizes his father named him Sue to make him tough so he can learn to put up with things life throughs at him. "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough”.
Next, in our lecture, we worked on narrowing the focus of our song, which would enable us to write more easily.
We were given some examples of which could narrow our focus,
1, a fun/humorous uptempo song?
2, a political song to raise awareness?
None of these categories appealed to me, I wanted to tell a moral story. This would create a serious impact in my song. I wanted to portray a life lesson in some way, so the song could possibly have some educational factor. I feel this subject matter would be familiar to everyone. We can all relate to human emotion getting in the way of things, and clouding our judgment.
Chloe then went on to show us some techniques to inspire our lyric writing. This was interesting because I have never tried a formulaic way of writing my own lyrics before.
The first lyrical exercise we were asked to do was to create an “idea sketch”, which involved deciding on a topic that we could write our song about and what our chosen topic brings to mind.
The story/film that inspired my song is “girl on the train”, which is an emotive and tragic, psychological drama.
Here is a brief synopsis of my chosen story- The part of the story I wanted to base my song on, is the perspective of the main character, Rachel Watson. Rachel had recently got out of a relationship with the love of her life who cheated on her. She took to alcohol and as an escapism. She would take the same train journey every day to see her old neighborhood through the window. Rachel quickly becomes fixated on a couple she always sees through the window, embracing on their balcony. She idolizes them, they have the life she used to have before her tragic break up. One train ride, Rachel sees the women in the relationship cheat on her husband on the balcony. This angers Rachel, she doesn't understand how someone who has everything she ever wanted, would just through it away for lust. This makes Rachel want to interfere in their relationship and prove the woman guilty. The message of the story is nothing is as “perfect” as it seems.
We were asked to note down answers to these questions during our lecture:
1, three things you like about it, three things you don't like about it, three things you notice about the people in the film-
Three things i like about the film - (a) the extremes of emotion, (b), no clear villain, (c), I find it interesting that no one in the film has a positive experience of love. I like all these things because extremes of emotion and bad experiences of love are good and almost stereotypical lyrical ideas.We can all relate to some if not all of them. Also, the lack of a villain adds somewhat ambiguity to the plot.
Three things i don't like about the film- (a), too many plot lines to include in a simple story song, (b), too many characters to include in the song, it also takes a while for once to establish all of the characters in the early part of the film, (c), The film took a little too long to get going, but once it did I really enjoyed it! These things could be a problem musically. I want the song to be concise with a clear storyline.
Three things I like about the people in the film- (a) is the focus on all characters perspectives, every character has their own backstory. (b) Every character, however innocent, seems to have a dark side of their personality which cant help but manifest itself. I feel this is very relatable as no one is perfect. (c)The relationship and jealousy between all the main female characters. I liked the focus on the theme of deception I mentioned earlier.The characters in the film lend themselves to not being what they seem.
We next had to work on our “Big idea”. My big idea came to life when I decided I wanted to include morality and human psychology into the story, ‘things not being what they seem’, in other words, deception, being my big idea.
To help us conjure up our big ideas lyrically, we were advised to write a list of 20 words relating to our chosen story. Some of these words I associate with deception and others I associate with the story.
After we had completed our list of 20 words related to our chosen story, we were asked to pick out the masculine words - one-syllable, or words ending on a stressed syllable, such as command, land understand.
Feminine word examples- commanding, landing, understanding.
The masculine words I picked are those circled in the picture below:
Next, Chloe challenged us to try and find a rhyme for each of the masculine words, (I also ended up rhyming the female words too, to see the difference).
These rhymes would, later on, be used as a possible stimulus for our first written lyrics. I feel the “masculine” sounding words add to the emotional value of the lyrics. They sound harsher and more abrupt, which ties in well with the tragic story of “The girl on the train”.
Below is the picture of my rhymes:
Next, we had to pick some ideas from the list above, which could make an interesting lyrical combination in our song and then write a paragraph about the ideas. These ideas helped form my “big idea”, which was to write about deception and to write the song from the main character, Rachels’ perspective. This would highlight her addition, sense of loss and jealousy in a more personal way for the listener.
I liked the words “mine” and “wine” as a rhyme, I feel “mine” is a strong and emotive statement, portraying Rachels loss of what is “mine”. I feel the rhyme “wine” is a clever twist on Rachels alcohol addition, however, it keeps the ambiance of romance without having to go into too much graphic detail.
This similar idea could also be explored in my rhyme of “glass” and “past”. They both help illustrate Rachels addiction and longing of her past life.
The next step was to write our first two lines of lyrics appropriate to our story, containing a”person”. -
I chose to use my rhyme combination of “mine” and “wine” in these lyrics.
After composing the lyrics we answered these set questions given to us in our lecture:
(A), what do these statements say beyond the obvious?
I wrote these lyrics to prod at Rachels broken relationship merged with her alcohol addiction.“This place used to be mine” is past tense. The persona is clearly dwelling on past experiences. “Him in her heart and her hand on her wine”. The lyrics continue to be unclear, who is “him”? could he be a lover or a family member? The “hand on her wine”, as well as being a comparison of a body part, it is also a comparison of an emotional thing ( something in her heart) and a physical thing ( hand on her wine).
(B) what could these statements say, what might be the subtext?
I think “ this place used to be mine” implies it is somewhere the persona used to own, possibly a past home. There could be a sense of loss seen in the words “used to be “ rather than saying “was mine”. “Him in her heart”, implies a constant. whoever it never leaves her thoughts, again maybe a child or lover? Maybe whoever it is in her heart also used to be in the place that used to be hers. “Hand on her wine”, could imply the persona is upset and is drinking to numb the pain and her sense of loss? The person in her heart could even be the one triggering her drinking?
(C) How does each statement include the “person”, in relation to the singer?
The singer uses the first-person narrative. They are the “person”, experiencing her actions and emotions. I feel this helps tell the story better too.
I ended up not using the lyrics I wrote in class in my final song. When I write my music I tend to write everything at the same time, lyrics/melody/ piano part. I felt the lyrics I wrote in class were a bit too vague for telling a story. I wanted to give a more detailed account and have a clearer time frame in the story, which those lyrics didn't suggest. Despite not using them, they greatly helped me to come up with the perspective of the song and the themes I wanted to touch upon. So I am glad I was taught a new lyric writing method which certainly helped with inspiration.
My final lyrics for “girl on the train” -
on this train, I replay my life,
I was, an extraordinary wife.
With this drink in my hand,
on the other side of this glass, i ride.
Her hair, her lips, her legs, her smile,
make me stop, and ponder for a while.
With this drink in my hand,
on the other side of this glass, I ride.
No, why do you do that, how can I prove that,
No, how can you do that, how can I prove that
Your life used to be mine,
but your lust got intertwined.
Your life deserves to be mine,
With this drink in my hand,
on the other side of this glass, i ride.
With this drink in my hand,
on the other side of this glass I ride.
When writing these final lyrics, I made sure to plot a beginning middle and an end.
I also made sure to include the five elements of story plots - (1)beginning (exposition), (2) rising action ( problem conflict), (3) climax/high point, (4), falling action, (5) resolution/ ending.
Ill now give the break down of the story in each section of the song:
Its purpose is to set the scene and tell the listener about where the speaker is, and a piece of additional background information.
“on this train, I replay my life,
I was an extraordinary wife,”
Firstly, we learn the speaker is on a train, talking about life from her current perspective. We also learn that the person is female and “was” married.
The chorus is to add more detail to what the speaker, Rachel, is seeing on the train and we also find out about her drinking addiction.
“With this drink in my hand,
on the other side of this glass, i ride.”
The chorus is the first time we are introduced to another character, the woman Rachel sees on her balcony with her husband in the film. The woman is referred to as “she” in the chorus. I chose the lyric “she” to add distance, i didn't want the woman to sound warm and familiar. I wanted her to sound like the stranger she is to Rachel.
Rachel can see the couple through the train window “On the other side, of this glass I ride”.
I chose to avoid using the word window, I feel “glass I ride” makes there seem an even greater barrier between the life of Rachel and the life of the couple. Glass also has negative associations, for example how it can cut you. I felt this could enhance the feeling of hurt Rachel experiences even more so.
Verse two gives the listener a physical description of the woman on the balcony “her”. The use of only physical description also highlights that Rachel really doesn't know this woman personally.
Her hair, her lips, her legs, her smile,
make me stop, and ponder for a while.
This use of all physical description could also highlight Rachels jealously. She was that beautiful woman once. This helps to highlight the contrast between Rachel all on her own on the moving train and the woman, still on her balcony with her partner. This shows their lives couldn't be more apart from one another.
The line “stop and ponder” is meant to show to the listener, Rachel dwelling on the past again. She is comparing how her life was once like theirs.Now it is just a memory.
We have the chorus again. The repeat of the same lyrics musically personifies Rachels addition to alcohol and her idolizing the couple who seem to have the ‘perfect’ life. She does the same thing over and over, similar to us hearing the chorus again.
We finally reach the build-up to the climax in the rising problem section. This occurs in the bridge. this reflects in the music. The listener doesn't know what has happened.
‘No, how an you do that, how can I prove that,
The lack of detail in the lyrics to what Rachel is seeing adds to the build-up of tension. “How can you do that” sounds like an angry and horrified remark.
The line “how can I prove that”, could show Rachels jealously, and imply she wants to interfere and make sure everyone knows what she saw.
The music intensifies too, we have a new chord progression with a different rhythmic feel. Singing the lyrics very high and the line “oh no please go” shows a vulnerability in Rachels character. She is in blind shock.
In verse 4 we have the climax of the story, we find out what Rachels emotional reaction in the bridge was all about.
“Your life used to be mine, but your lust, got intertwined
your life deserves to be mine, but now, is not my time’
We again, hear Rachels frustration, wishing she had her old life back, which we realize was very similar to the couple on the balconies’,
“your life used to be mine”
The listener finally finds out that Rachel sees the woman on the balcony with another man. “but your lust got intertwined”.
The use of this final verse being double its length lyrically adds, to the dramatic effect of the climax. The listener can feel Rachels rage now in the line “your life deserves to be mine”
This lyric highlights Rachels most obvious jealously so far. which concludes with her lonely statement “but now is not my time”,
its Rachel realizing she is helpless despite this anger of what she has seen. This is where the climax ends and the falling action begins. This is where Rachel has the realization that things are not what they seem.
The structure ends on a repeat of the chorus twice, with a subtle lyric change “while she seduces THAT man”” followed by the original lyric the final time.“ her man”
This implies a thought shift in Rachel, she realizes things are not as perfect as they once seemed. The way in which the last time we hear the chorus reverts back to the original lyric implies an acceptance of things now from Rachel. She no longer sees the deception of perfection. Now when she sees the perfect couple she will know the truth behind the facade. This is the final resolution of the lyrics.
To conclude, if I was to compare this songwriting task to my normal process of writing it would be a bit different. I don't normally write about my idea beforehand, i have never used an ideas sketch before. I didn't find it useful for writing lyrics, but it was useful in broadening my lyrical ideas.
I have written a few songs in the past based on news events or books, so the process didn't seem alien to me. However, a criticism of mine is I wrote the song in a style I feel very comfortable in. My songs tend to be emotional first person narrative encounters, usually in a minor key. I tend to complete my songs in around 15 minutes, as did i with this song. I feel if I was to do the task again I would write a song more out of my comfort zone, for example, a comedy or uptempo piece.
