#mediocre music

[lesbian-fig]

cluck ol hen on the uke!

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

I think homecoming was enough of The Nightclub Experience for my entire life

[isolationaroundus]

I still can’t understand that new rap shit you people are listening.. I really tried.. It sounds like complete shit.. Am i getting old at 21???? I just.. I.. Pffffffffffffffffffffffff whatever dudes. I no wanna offend you more.. 

[pearly-may]

Soooo not thrilled about Coldplay, beyonce or Bruno mars doing the half time show

[isaiah720-blog]

That makes two of them.

[isriana]

ESC second semi-final so far: I don’t even care about any of these songs at all, but wow the stage looks awesome!

[anormalperspective-blog]

Music from Baz Luhrmann's Film The Great Gatsby 

RATING: 3/10

The Great Gatsby is a certified 50 million opening weekend success with a superstar soundtrack. Too bad this soundtrack is a fucking disaster. However, this is supposed to be important because Jay-Z, appointed curator of American Culture in Obama Era produced this soundtrack. Conclusion: Jay Z has the music tastes of 16 year old hipster white girl.

It's hard to find Baz Luhrman's approach of trying to relate to young people by replacing jazz of the 20's with hip hop as anything but a cynical cashgrab and slight racial stereotype. But lets get on with the music shall we

It starts off smartly with Hov himself giving us "$100 Dollar Bill" which is an 11/10 for today's Jay-Z but about a 5/10 when compared to older works. It succeeds in fitting the vision of re imagining the old with a modern twist however, so it a small but solid win. Then the train starts quickly veering off the tracks.

Andre 3000 and Beyonce "deliver" a cover of Amy Winehouse's Back to Black and its impressively mediocre. It is a stuttering, passionless cover that sucks all the tragic beauty of the original. It is hard to imagine what they were thinking with this one. It's the equivalent of what would happen if someone covered "Hey Ya!" and "Crazy in Love", why repaint a Mona Lisa when it will never be as good. And don't you worry one of those classics gets covered and it literally one of the most disastrous shitstorms I've ever heard. With an orchestra backing sounding not unlike a Weird Al Polka and Emeli Sande, a usually boring british singer who is being hyped as the "next Adele" but is about vocally on par with Janet Jackson. She sounds of out of breath but not in the exhilarated way Beyonce did on the original but in 8th place American Idol finisher way.

However, the album does provide us with at least one stellar moment in Lana Del Rey's "Young and Beautiful." It's a stunning ballad that sounds like it came from someone with at least some morsel of understanding of the novel. Del Rey nails the achingly gorgeous ballad which tackles the problem for everything else here, the idea that no one will care about any of this bad music someday. And while it seems like she has ruined it  with  "all that face/makes me want to party", she actually succeeds in nailing the spirit of the story and  the vapidness of its villain, Daisy. It may be to early to call, but Del Rey is the only person who seems like she could nab an Oscar nom here.

Will.I.Am and Fergie are weirdly given separate tracks each to prove they are mediocre as they have always suggested.Will.I.Am's song 'Bang Bang" does sound noticeably different from anything he's ever recorded but still isn't anything pleasurable to the ears. Fergie's song "A Little Party Never Hurt Nobody" is a non descript jazz-EDM (2 genres that should never be combined) club track, that could be from a Bacardi commercial or a Sex and the City soundtrack. Fergie gives it her all but theres literally nothing to work with and Q Tip hardly tries and sounds weirdly Will.I.Am'ish, so yes this is a major career lowlight for him.

There's one simply jazz song from Bryan Ferry and songs by past buzz artist princes Gotye and The xx. It's all at least pleasantly boring. Florence and the Machine and Jack White seem like they were basically  asked to give tracks that made them sound like caricatures of themselves. "Over the Love" provides for a surprising low-light on a soundtrack already so terrible as Florence literally just fucking yells and throws Sparknotes cliche's  of the book at the wall. Sia is delightfully nuanced which is needed at the very end when you feel like you are about to die from everything you've just heard

DOWNLOAD: Lana Del Rey "Young and Beautiful" Jay-Z "100 Dollar Bill" Sia "Kill and Run"

[pyneapple]

I could fill the whole house with mediocre music.

-The lady on House Hunters