#mediocremommy

[monkeybrainmama]

There was a surprise Tumblr summit in Hood River, Oregon. We’re calling it #mom40.5 also known as Molly’s surprise birthday. Mediocre Mommy and The Price 7 were there and there was lots of panelists and breakout sesh’s and whatnot.

Lots of whatnot.

PS while trying to type this super cool post Dylan crawled over her car seat and bonked her head. BRB just need to collect my Mother of The Year trophy.

[mollysueschwarz]

Poor jess. I told the kids to make their best sad faces but I think Dane heard "make your best Robert deniro".

[mollysueschwarz]

this is what happens when you leave your phone at jess's house. that and a million other gems such as the second one. lots and lots of those. 

[mollysueschwarz]

Just another Saturday night in a bathroom for an awkwardly long time.

[mollysueschwarz]

Jess and I probably let this go on far too long but I think it was worth it. Cassady may disagree.

[mollysueschwarz]

i'm talking to you mediocre mommy

i've said it before and i'll say it  A MILLION more times because you force me to:

you continue to prove by your actions that your blog name is a misnomer.  when your child spends the night at my house and over breakfast you tell him that having life cereal and 2 percent milk is a "treat", CLEARLY i am the mediocre one. 

people of the world hear me: DO NOT LET HER FOOL YOU. this lady is a seriously good mother. one who crafts. one who only gives her children nonfat plain yogurt. her house is as neat as pin. she EXERCISES. like, daily. her children eat ANYTHING you place in front of them. she does motherfucking WORKBOOKS with her children.

in the meantime, i'm eating twizzlers for dinner with a wine chaser while i block out the cries of "mommy, play with me, please?" by blaring the real housewives. i went to the gym for 10 minutes once. i helped dane write a "D" that one time in the sand with a stick until my back hurt from leaning over. 

who's mediocre now.