Lucifer and I butt heads constantly but not for the reasons you might think. Being the oldest sibling with younger ones to look after has made it impossible for either of us to allow ourselves to be taken care of.
“Let me take care of you.”
“You first.”
Back and forth, back and forth until we both slowly start to find little ways to take care of each other in a way the other accepts without argument. Learning and teaching each other how to love ourselves and let go of control we so desperately try to hold onto.
It starts with cups of tea.
I set a cup on his desk while he does student council paperwork in his office. He sets a cup on the end table while I do RAD homework in the HoL’s library. If one of us makes a cup, we always make a second cup for the other. This goes on and on, “returning the favor,” until we stop keeping score and finally accept this one small act of love, opening ourselves up to the possibility of accepting more.
