#mel random post

[soreillia]

IT’S BEEN YEARS AND I STILL MISS KATALAM.................................

Randomly I was hit by nostalgia listening to Aion OST again. I still think it has the best OST out of all MMORPGs.

[soreillia]

It took me a moment to understand what “OTP to Share Files” means…… /sobs into hands

[soreillia]

I am not sure what is better: People who only react on drawings/writings that were made for them or people who don’t react at all.

/STARES INTO DISTANCE

[soreillia]

My hands are so itching to write down the stories already. I am so very happy for any single person reading and supporting me. Thank you all q v q

Some ramble following!

I was feeling very lost in GTRO AU for a while with my story. So yeah I am currently taking a different approach... just writing my stories. JUST DOING IT! My backup plan to stay actively working on the story for this AU is working well. I mean I still have my original project with my fren, but I also want to work on this story still, since the story is not yet done being told.

AND ALSO I MUST STILL BRING KRONE TO SAVE ONEE-CHAN!! And more kokoro stabbing stories 

Rhy is NPC mode, which is not that bad else I’m scared I am going to ruin this story we built CRIEs But yeah I cannot force Racie to work on GTRO AU with me and I feel bad I made Sacred so... “difficult” in this AU ; 3 ;

But weeeell, I am still not sure how to include Sivard in everything even though he is my main and core character together with Sacred in this story. But... How should I continue using him? How should I RP with him? WHO IS HEEEE?? Ragnis #2? Ahaha, I really feel like I forgot how to “Sivard”… I feel like all these random RPs I had with different people to relearn “how to Sivard” and how to love him once again just made me more confused about his character. I can’t simply use Sivard from my different AU/original story as aid to develop him in this AU. He is too different unlike Sacred/Soreillia, Reiru, Ragnis and Cuicui from my original work. He turned into some kind of wreck, who lost his memories, having to accept his former life due to responsibilities. Now I’m too confused on how to get him out of there, it seems like I screwed up and have run into a dead end.

I do feel like it makes me a terrible person to RP with, since I keep screwing up his character instead of the opposite. I do wish there was someone who could help me rediscover my own character... and could nudge me in the right way.

I turned so very silent when it comes to RP and I feel guilty for not replying those RPs I was using him to rediscover his personalities-- 

Maybe it made people dislike me...?

Maybe they think I do not like them...?

The lack of... comments just adds more fuel to it. Like a proof ever since I didn’t reply, they don’t care about getting closed to me anymore, while I have been extending my hand countless times towards them... looking for a work together. But this hand grew tired wanting to care about people, who won’t give me any sign about being interested. Yet I cannot blame anyone for it, just feel guilty.

I have to avoid using Siv to not ruin his character even more until I figured out his personality once again and who he is and what his current goals even are. At the same time it makes me feel kind of sad and lonely. I remember all the funny RPs I used to have with him and seeing people happily RPing, creating stories together, does make me a little bit envious and feeling left out of their stories, since... you get to see only “little parts” of it to understand what’s even going on in their stories.

But let’s be honest? How many RPs had to be scratched because people didn’t care about it as much as I did about the well discussed story? How many times I was pretty much forced to find a different way and stop depending on a RP with others to finally make progress?

Well it’s no use! NO USE AT ALL!!

These thoughts bothered me for far too long time. 

I must go back to drawing, writing and story-crafting!

Poor Daagat is still stuck in ice cave.

[soreillia]

When I’m not P2W in Aion, I P2W in Granblue instead... I’M GONNA SPEND MY MONEY AGAIN ON BUYING COMMISSIONS NOW INSTEAD, DAMN IT!!

I’m totally not salty.

I still have x100 berdin stars I bought from BCM actually-----------

[soreillia]

How to draw when it’s so freezing cold and heater not working ahuhuhuhuhihihi ; A ; MY HAAAANDddsss

[soreillia]

Trying to rework my original story to work on a game is not easy when YOU ARE FKING MORE FORGETFUL AND AMNESIAC THAN SIV AND RHY Crieees im getting old, already counting my white hair /lies down

[soreillia]

AFTER BROWSING SO MUCH WITHOUT MUCH SUCCESS IM ASKING FOR HELP well I’m trying to find more people to art commission! I’m willing to pay 50€-200€ for commission if I like the style which can be manga or even realism so if you know someone who is selling commission let me know and give me link to their commission info because I need more art of my bebbis. Thank you very much!