back then ✶ boo seungkwan
you visit your old neighborhood for spring break, meeting an old friend. you remember the tidbits of your time being close with seungkwan. maybe it was right that you still love him that way.
pairing : boo seungkwan x gn!reader / word count : 4.1k words genre / tags : childhood friends to lovers, idiots in love, unrequited love, university!au warnings : implied family passing, family problems, smoking, arguments, drinking mellow's notes : thank you @dorereef for making this event, i implore everyone to check out the other writer's works ; they are all very amazing and put a lot of effort into their works! check out the other fics in the reef in bloom masterlist, as well as my other fic a perfect meal
seventeen masterlist | navigation | permanent taglist ⤷ see also on : ao3 | wattpad
Granny, Spring break is here, and I am going to visit your old hometown, the one where Mom used to take me to. I’ll be living with her for a bit before the week ends, which makes me remember the plants you used to grow. I was always digging away at the soil, and you got mad at me, but it was still fun to do. I hope you’re doing okay right now and sleeping well. I hope Uncle is taking care of you; he always talks about you and the stories you haven’t told me yet. I’ll tell you about the new things I find during my break. Some of the things you have yet to see. I hope I see you soon. — Your Blossom <3
MONDAY — SWEET CORN CHIPS
Going home felt different.
The neighborhood was unusually quiet, but some were going on walks while stray dogs followed them, and even those who went to open their shops.
Back then, you were familiar with the paths that led to your house. It was much more colorful in your younger years.
A turn to the left, you vaguely remember seeing the vibrant blue house with white trims. And as you continue walking to your destination, you make another left turn, seeing the familiar sundry shop up ahead, a tiny preschool that you absolutely hated.
And then, your home.
You decided to make a stop, passing by your house and with your sandals digging on the grainy concrete, walking up to the stand, you see no one in sight in the store you used to frequent.
Seeing the sun peeking through the clouds, some things never changed, the sundry shop especially.
“Is anyone open?”
Sitting under the shade with the assortments was a much older owner, Mrs. Boo, who sat by, watching over the breakfast for any customers to walk over to. When she noticed your figure, it was as if old age never bothered her, as she got up from her chair and reached out to you to give you a warm hug.
You smile fondly when you finally see her, with her gray hair and wrinkles. She sees your face and kisses you on the cheek. You were lucky that she was one of your mother’s friends; you were always calling her Auntie Boo.
“How are you? It has been quite a long time since you visited.” Auntie Boo sets down a cup of coffee. “Are you getting anything here?”
Auntie Boo was the one who owned the sundry shop that was near your home, and your mother used to frequent it on Saturdays.
It was an easy walk; you even went with her whenever she needed to buy something, and it had things that you thought were so interesting, with questions lining up in your brain about how Auntie was even able to buy a bulk of many different scents of lined-up sachets of laundry detergent.
But all the look of question on your face disappeared as your eyes focused only on what was in front of you: the bag of snacks and plastic containers of candies stacked up in the glass display, though it was too tall for you, it still looked appealing, and you felt your mouth drool for a crunch of sweet corn chips.
You ask for the sweet corn chips, something about them makes you hungry.
Auntie Boo looks at you with a grin, “Preferences never changed, you’re just like my baby.”
“Is he home?” You ask her as you grab the bag of sweet corn chips that you had paid for. “I hope he’s doing well,” you take a piece before taking a seat on a bench.
“I remember the first time you two finally met.” Auntie Boo takes a cigarette before walking out to take a seat on the bench next to you. With a flicker of the lighter, the cigarette lights up.
“You used to buy a lot of candy here. I was worried about your health every time you carried that plastic bag full of sweets.” But Auntie didn’t mind; she always knew what kind of candies you liked, knowing to refill the jars as soon as they ran out of your favorite flavors.
Auntie Boo looks at you before huffing out smoke, “Your mother, she talked about the two of you finally meeting, oh..Seungkwan was actually really nervous when he saw you for the first time.”
Boo Seungkwan, the boy that your mother had always talked about as a sweet kid who would secretly hand her an extra shampoo packet, on the house.
And as he stood by the glass display one morning, drinking soda that was poured on a long plastic bag, topped with a long blue straw, he looked down at you when you stared at one of your favorite bags of chips, thinking about opening around 50 bags and swimming in its savory and even sweet taste.
“Who are you?” Seungkwan asked, sucking the cold bag of soda on his hand. You can feel how refreshing it might be if you drink it as you feel the sun stamp its heat onto your skin.
In the heat of July, you remember the way he looked at you. It was the first time you two had ever interacted, and in the shade that hid his eyes, you saw the pout on his face as he asked you.
Auntie Boo looked at Seungkwan, “Honey! You shouldn’t be rude to them. That’s your neighbour, did you know?”
“I wasn’t, Ma!” Seungkwan frowned, and you could hear him complain when he began to make excuses that didn’t even correlate to what he was saying: “I stubbed my toe!” “They did it first!”
A simple sorry would have been enough, but you’ve come to learn of Seungkwan’s stubbornness in apologizing.
Seungkwan was never good with words, as he almost dropped what he was carrying when he saw you sitting next to his mother, laughing and even eating snacks that you brought for them.
You look much different since the last time he saw you; it looks like living far from home actually treated you well.
“Ma? You didn’t tell me that they were visiting.” Seungkwan lifts the heavy box closer to his chest, setting it by a counter. He looks at you before smiling. “You didn’t tell me.”
“It was gonna be a surprise!” You were quick to say when you got up from where you were sitting.
“How long has it been since we last spoke, two years?” Seungkwan was mindful when he finally took you into his arms. The air around you felt different and unfamiliar; it made it somewhat easy for him to let go of the hug.
You wouldn’t have preferred walking on your own without Seungkwan by your side, but now it feels odd.
It has been years. Years since you two had last seen each other, and years after you two sent each other handwritten letters and emails. And when technology changes, so does your form of messaging.
You remember the video calls as he talks on and on about his first day at his new school. He mentioned that the weather was different from his old home, often experiencing extreme weather changes. You also talk about your first day back in high school, although it was a new building, it was still with the same students.
It was simple enough, just talking about each other’s day, even if the only reason the two of you wanted to call was to
But time passes by, and somehow, the one you cherished most is only something you look back on.
“Your hair is still the same,” you tell Seungkwan, laughing at the time when he video-called you, dying his hair a blonde color.
Seungkwan smiles as he touches the bangs of his newly dyed black hair. You try not to ruffle his hair, putting your hand behind, playing with your own hair instead, and smiling at his action.
“Until when are you leaving?” Stopping at the traffic light, there are very few cars passing by.
“Saturday,” you say, shaking your head. The thought of having to go back to classes after spring break was over was dreadful enough. “I want to stay here just a while longer.”
“Did I ever tell you about what happened to the elementary school we used to go to?”
“Isn’t it around here?” You ask him, “You told me about the school’s financial problems before…”
Seungkwan slowly stops in his footsteps before turning to the caged space, towered with concrete and metal pipes. The two of you just walked past the old building of the elementary school; there was a small banner that showed that your old school was going to become a new apartment complex. “It’s been closed ever since I started college.”
“That’s what happened?”
“No one wanted to save the school,” Seungkwan said, “I remember them saying that the school further down was enough.”
You stumble a bit when you feel the uneven ground. Seungkwan looks back at you when you yelp. “You good?” He asks before giving you a small nod when you say that you were fine.
It was a shock to hear what happened to a school that used to be your sanctuary, but you didn’t know why you felt guilty. You remember wanting to stay just a little bit longer with the kids who lived far from you, and Seungkwan always wanted to leave early. Thinking of the recent shows that he might be missing right now.
The elementary school used to be filled with everything that your heart desired: books that always caught your attention, school events that seemed to have never ended, and even being able to spend just a little more time with one of your friends, Boo Seungkwan, who moved his way into your heart.
He always spent every minute with you. Secrets were shared under tables during a game of hide-and-seek, where it was too difficult to look for both of you. Both of you wanted to become desk buddies because of the blooming interest you both had in music and sports. You would tell of your dreams and aspirations with each other.
It was a moment that you didn’t want to forget about.
"You’re crying, Kwan…did you have a bad dream?"
Yet, there was always something in Seungkwan’s mind that made it seem like you were too close to disappearing. In his bedroom, where sunlight peeked under the covers of his bed when the two of you woke up after a nap.
"If we ever leave each other, promise me that we’ll find each other," he says, a firm hand grasping for yours as he looks at you with earnestness.
“Seungkwan, what are you saying—”
"Never forget our promise together, okay?" Seungkwan’s voice interrupted yours, holding your hand tightly like you were going to leave him forever.
“I’m never leaving you, Seungkwan, I swear on that.” You smile, kissing him on the cheek, something that he was always fond of.
Soothing, it was something that Seungkwan always felt whenever he was with you, the way you caressed his hair and helped him control his breathing, like it was second nature.
“Get some rest, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The day you came home from his house to grab something, you noticed that the door had already been unlocked. The door creeks silently, and you open the door to find your mother cooking dinner; it seems she was home a little earlier.
“Why are you home?”
Your mother turns around, quietly whispering to the telephone a little more before hanging up. She didn’t respond; her breaths were slow, and you were getting antsy. You think about Seungkwan, the lampshades, and fairy lights already lit up, and you look back at your mother.
Your mother looks at you before shaking her head, “Do you want to go out tomorrow? In a few days, we’ll be leaving.”
“What…?”
“I don’t know Seungkwan…I just…”
You never really liked sharing your woes with Seungkwan, even with the ones where your mother and your grandma were arguing constantly about your career. It was easier to listen to Seungkwan and his little stories of winning the team’s soccer game.
But this tormented you, you look at your classmate as they give you letters for your journey in another country, and even hope that you come back to a reunion of some sort.
Seungkwan didn’t give you any gift; it didn’t feel right to give you a gift, something that felt a little too permanent. Instead, he stayed by your side in many ways than one.
Calls were made, letters were written, and even short little emails. You both tried to secure your friendship even if you both were far away. But you realize that it might not last long when his responses are left empty, and his calls are less frequent, and everything just slowly ends with you two when you stop responding as well.
Seungkwan finds a potted plant; the fruit it was meant to bear was still growing flowers. Above the branch was an envelope that was wrapped around with a pink string.
Seungkwan, I know we already said our goodbyes, but I don’t know why it still didn’t feel satisfying when I told you goodbye. I don’t know if you’re sad or you’ve probably been too busy to respond…I think I understand that feeling This plant will grow into a beautiful tree. It bears your favorite fruit. I hope you take good care of it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I hope one day we’ll see each other again. — Your Best Friend <3
WEDNESDAY — BIRTHDAY PARTIES
Somehow, you were invited to a kid's birthday party today. Sitting down on the couch with another kid next to you, you quietly drink the juice pack that was kindly given to you by Seungkwan as he played with the kids.
Older women and laughing drunks go around and chat outside the back door, where a restaurant is connected, the very famous Kim’s Eatery.
It was Kim Mingyu and his son’s birthday today, and they were both celebrating together. You didn’t know this Mingyu person very well.
“I know this is a lot,” Mingyu laughs, “I think, going outside might be better than watching kids' movies. They want to get to know you.”
“I’m sorry, get to know me?” Getting up from the sofa, you turn to look at Seungkwan, being tackled by 5-year-olds and playing with newly opened toys given by Mingyu’s son. You see him looking before you quietly turn back.
“Some of my friends in high school. Seungkwan told me about you going to another country for school, and you told him it was a scary experience.” Mingyu ruffled one of his kids’ hair as they ran to the playroom. “Seungkwan loved talking about you, even the personal stuff that I thought should be kept a secret.”
“I didn’t really know that.” You smile, feeling the warmth hit your face like a petal falling as you see the adults casually talking amongst each other. “It was scary, it really did feel like I was some fish out of water.
The restaurant was packed, making it impossible to find chairs for the two of you to sit on. Mingyu decided to stand by the bar. He opens a can of soda before handing it to you. You quietly thank him before you take a sip. It was cold and had an interesting flavor of raspberry.
“I didn’t really know why we stopped talking with each other, and now I am at your kids birthday party.”
Mingyu chokes on his drink, “Me neither…”
“You smoke?”
You look at Seungkwan before you finally flicker the light and take a huff. “Didn’t want your Mom to see,”
“I never thought you did.”
“Neither did I,” you look out at the people who quietly bid their goodbyes at Kim’s Eatery. Looking at Mingyu, who says goodnight to the kids, he finally notices the two of you grinning at the sight.
“Mingyu’s nice.”
“He’s nice to everyone,” Seungkwan tells you, “it’s no wonder his restaurant is super popular.”
You and Seungkwan continue to walk in silence. Your steps felt heavy as you discarded the cigarette butt.
“Do you remember when you ate dinner with us?” You ask Seungkwan
“I still can’t believe you remember that!”
You remember your mother went to visit the shop to gossip with Mrs. Boo about some man who flirted with her at the supermarket.
“Seriously? Men these days have to learn how to talk to a woman like you right!” Outraged, Mrs. Boo was vibrant as usual as she took out a quick sip of her homemade lemonade, “You should have told him off,” she told your mother, looking at you with a grin.
The smell of something cooking takes your eyes off your own glass of cold lemonade and the fried snacks that you were unfamiliar with, but still, it makes your mouth water, so it couldn’t be that bad.
It was your stomach that was speaking, for you as you asked Auntie Boo, “What’s that?”
She smiled, “Our dinner for tonight. It’s my baby’s favorite.”
A glass of lemonade slides by your table, and you look at the owner of the cold drink. His eyes shift away from you, picking up the fried snack with a fork, eating his snack in silence. You notice an empty bowl beside a smaller plate.
Back then, Seungkwan wasn’t good with words. The only way he showed that he was sorry was through his actions.
Pouring your now-empty glass with the new serving of cold lemonade, Seungkwan doesn’t say anything, but when a smile is shown on your face as you thank him, he couldn’t help but smile as well as he took a bite of the fried snack.
“Do you want to eat with us, Honey?”
You look at Seungkwan, who stops his munching as he looks up to you with his eyes wide, irises disappearing. Both of you slowly look at Auntie Boo, and then you look at your own mother, who smiles at you.
It was a fond memory where time didn’t really matter in the slightest.
“I never really thought that things would change.” Seungkwan puts his hand in his pockets. “But ever since you left, suddenly, everything started changing. Isn’t it weird?”
“Well, we changed…did we not?”
Seungkwan looks at the sky, the stars twinkling a little more tonight. He looks at you before smiling. If he really did change, he hopes that the change has given him more confidence to tell you many things. But he decides to do this instead.
In a swift motion, his lips move to your cheeks.
Mwah.
Well, he definitely still has a place in your heart.
FRIDAY — BACK THEN
Granny, I don’t know why, but I suddenly thought about what you told me when I was younger. You always talked about how much you really liked Seungkwan and how nice it is that I have a friend like him. I’m leaving tonight, but Seungkwan invited me to visit the tree that you talked about, which is one I still have yet to see. He told me many things about it, and it was very endearing, reminding me of a story I wrote when I was little. I still remember you reading it to me… I don’t know why, but sometimes I wonder what life could be like if I were able to stay, because right now, I’m still scared about whatever I am feeling at the moment; it’s a little daunting that I could still even feel this way for someone I stopped talking with a long time ago. Is it nostalgia? Even I don’t know…I hope you’ll be able to tell me one day, when I get to see you. — Your Blossom <3
It’s a tree. It was one of the largest in your hometown.
Many of the people stay to relax under it whenever the sun becomes too unbearable to handle. Thankfully, it was nighttime, and the stars were the only light shining above you.
“This one stayed,” Seungkwan said, walking up the steep hill where the tree lay. You remember this tree as something that used to be so difficult to reach.
“Do you know any of the constellations out there?” Seungkwan reaches his arms out, opening and closing his hands, “There are just so many, I can't identify all of them.” Seungkwan shifts, his body moving a little closer to you.
You never exactly knew all of the different types of constellations, only some of the famous ones like Orion and Ursa Major.
“I remember you wanted to study the constellations…” You look at Seungkwan as his arms reach high up into the glimmering skies.
“It’s been a long time…I kind of forgot I even wanted to become an astronomer.”
“You didn’t do it?”
“No…”
“Why not?”
“Mom…wanted something that earns a little more money. I can kind of understand that kind of sentiment.
Silence. It was something that still took a while to get used to, different from how it used to be when it was so easy to move from conversation to conversation with him.
“Do you think the stars shine brighter because you’re here?”
“What?”
“They never did ever since you left.” Seungkwan said, “I know…that I’ve been a little too forward, but…I don’t know? It’s just been confusing since you’ve been here…and things felt good for once.”
“I just feel—when you left me the fruit tree, It felt like the day before you left, flowers still bloomed, and we were able to learn about so many things without life rushing us. ” Seungkwan turns his head to look at you, a bit flustered that you were already looking at him. “Sorry, did I talk too much?”
“No, no…it’s just…” You turn around to look back up in the sky, and how bright the stars were when the city lights didn’t interrupt. You wonder why you still think about him even when the calls have already ended.
“I’m leaving tomorrow, it feels like it’s all coming to me that…” you stop to think for a moment, “It’s… it’s just been a long time since we talked...” you breathe, “I thought that because we were apart, that we would stop being friends.”
“What are you saying?”
There was still time. You didn’t leave; no one was keeping you away. He still had your phone number, even if it had changed, he would still ask for it.
“I don’t mind if you’re not the same...I still want you to stay.”
You look at Seungkwan, and as it began to flutter, the rain quietly poured. You reach over to embrace him.
EPILOUGE
“Can I kiss you?”
The rain wasn’t loud, yet he still preferred to whisper the question that you had immediately understood. Kisses aren’t exactly ones that you think of when you talk to your friend, whom you haven’t seen in a long time.
You look at Seungkwan, the coffee had already gone cold when the two of you talked about the next few days, unfinished words, and the occasional coffee-making.
“If I say no?” You grin, tracing the rim of the ceramic mug.
“Then I don’t mind that.” Seungkwan took a sip of his iced americano. He told you that it was always his go-to order in coffee shops.
You still take a sip of the cold cup. Looking away from the awkward look on his face.
“Promise it's not a prank this time?” You ask him as he suddenly had a bright look on his face
“I promise.”
You look out the window, and the rain is heavy; even a puddle is forming on the road. Seungkwan tilts his head to look at your face as he tries to look at what you were looking at.
“Fine.”
It was as if reality had just hit Seungkwan when you finally said yes. After a pile of nonsense began to form in the back of his head, Seungkwan covered his mouth. Before quietly looking at you.
“Are you sure, though?” Seungkwan slowly reaches out to caress your face, pulling gently to make you look at him, as he moves your head away from his, “You look lovely…” Seungkwan wasted no time.
His lips were immediately on yours. It tasted like bitter coffee and a hint of caramel. You lean closer, breathing through your nose as you feel the flutter of his bangs touching your cheeks. And like the rain that continued to pour, it sputtered like the fast beating of your heart that couldn’t seem to stop.
You let go of the kiss as Seungkwan looks at you, smiling. As he kisses you, “See, I told you.”
You shut him up with another kiss.
thank you for reading back then like, reblog and send me your feedback! ⤷ find me on : ao3 (mellow_wishes) | wattpad (mellow-wishes)
mellow's notes : to anyone reading this, i am really sorry because this is not my greatest written work because i legit just experienced the ao3 curse ( and that is very much not a great excuse ) and rushed to finish two of these fics, i promise i will make one good seungkwan fic!!
© mellow-wishes
