good morning chat today I'm rambling about my interpretation of Enrico Pucci
starting from the fact that he's mostly torn between wanting to have control over his life and wanting to have the responsibility of choice being stripped away from him
the latter is not due to some "I want my evil actions to be justified" reasoning. Pucci doesn't care about justifying his actions because he doesn't care about other people and sees no reason to. he wants to be free of choice because he blames himself for his sister's death and, with my headcanon that he used to be friends with Kakyouin, hates himself for not doing anything to help him out of being mind-controlled by Dio. he doesn't care about everything else that he was complicit in. just that one thing. except that the first case was a genuine mistake that he shouldn't be blamed for, while the second one was partially an act of neglect. (I say partially cause it's debatable whether he would be able to pull out a fleshbud without being infected himself, getting Kakyouin killed, permanently damaging his brain and/or being Gotten by Dio afterwards.) but either way instead of actually dealing with his grief he goes down this route of "things wouldn't have gone otherwise because we don't control destiny" because it absolves him of his mistakes quicker and more efficiently. it feels safe. there's no possibilities, he doesn't have to choose for himself, the universe follows an already choreographed routine that he is part of and is powerless to change. all he can do is know it because only if he knows it his life can really start and he can finally satisfy the craving for affection that he has suffered from his entire life.
and here comes the "he desperately wants control" bit: deep down he kind of wants to be able to disrupt fate. made in heaven is not a thing that's supposed to happen. so for only a moment, he can say that he had control over time and time and fate are two facets of a whole. we r talking about a guy who rarely ever felt control over his own actions and body or privacy in his own mind, cause that's what catholicism tends to do. god knows everything and all that. this also ties in with how I imagine that Pucci would feel like he has no choice but to be evil: stress and trauma can lead to intrusive thoughts and if thoughts alone can be sin, then, Pucci isn't going to Heaven either way- might as well brute-force his way inside.
he's used to having his choices made for him. his parents planned out his future for him and he couldn't disappoint them. so the thought of being controlled by fate is a comfort, but also something that torments him. he desperately wants to have control over something, anything, and that's also where FF kinda comes into play, again- he's made something he can hurt and control the same way he's been hurt and controlled by the adults around him when he was a kid and it makes him feel better about himself.
