#meme: dear...

[youneverlookdeeper-archive]

Dear ex boyfriend,

Dear Stan

Fuck you

You deserve worse

I hope hell is warm you piece of shit

Sincerely the 'worthless bitch' that killed you with her bare hands and sleeps soundly

P.S. If I had to do it again I'd only do it slower.

[youneverlookdeeper-archive]

Dear past me

Dear past me

Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20. It's bullshit for you, though. You hate everything, the world around you, the choices given to you, what has been taken from you and the people who took it.

Take that hate, sweetheart. Take it and forge it into a sword and a shield. It is the most powerful weapon you will ever have. The most effective. Use that hate and protect yourself with it. Wound others with it. Learn the lessons it has carved into your flesh.

It will keep you alive.

But don't let it control you. Control it. Make it yours.

Don't let anything ever control you. Not even your emotions.

It's gonna fuck you up, and mess with your head, and those walls are gonna be so high and so strong no one is ever going to be able to climb them. But you let future you deal with that. Now, just look after yourself.

Because no one else is gonna.

[youneverlookdeeper-archive]

dear dr lecter ;DDD

Dear Doctor Lecter

It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you since I broke out of Arkham. Gotta say I’m not sure if I miss our sessions. Enlightening as they are, you seem like a giant spider in wait most of the time, and I’m not used to being seen as a prey animal.

Regardless, I think about our sessions every now and again. It’d be nice to have a chat one day. Catch up. Possibly without shatter-proof glass between us this time. Please try not to ask probing questions in public, though. My psyche hardly makes for good dinner conversation, as much as I love talking about myself.

Signed

S

P.S. I found a nice little Renaissance painting in a private collection I turned over a week or so ago. It’s priced at about half a million minimum, but I got offers up to six million for it. I figured you might want it. It’ll be arriving in the next few days. 

[youneverlookdeeper-archive]

Dear person I'm jealous of,

Dear whoever adopted my daughter

You treat her like the princess she is. You teach her to respect herself. To be proud of who she is. To never be ashamed of anything. You help her and you love her and you hold her tight when she cries. And you cherish every time she calls you 'mommy'.

And I swear to God if she suffers because of you, if you fail her in any way.

I will find you.

And I will make you beg to die.

[youneverlookdeeper-archive]

Dear future me,

Dear Future me

How did it happen?

Was it in our sleep or was it bloody?

Did we smile when our heart stopped beating?

Did we cry?

Did we spit in God's face?

... Was someone holding us?

Are we missed?

Was it worth it?

[ice-cream-juseyo]

*whispers* And, Dear Daesung

There’s a pile of envelopes on the countertop, varicolored and addressed to all people: Sunny, Tablo, Seungri. Babies who couldn’t read yet, wouldn’t for years. Himself, on a few.

…and now this. 

He twirls his pink pen between his fingers, trades it out for a black ballpoint, and reaches out to take your hand, gently. Takes it, turns it palm up on the counter, pen cap between his teeth as he writes, ever so carefully, in a neat, even row, the ink stark against your honey-tan skin: 

Dearest, dearest Daesung

I think I love you.

I think I will always love you.

You are stronger than I could ever hope to be; the only place I feel truly safe - not physically, but emotionally. Safe enough to be the me I always dreamed I could but never thought I’d be able to be.

I do not deserve you, but I will try the rest of my entire life to be someone who does. 

forever and ever (plus ones until whenever--),

your Seunghyun

[ice-cream-juseyo]

Dear F A V O U R I T E hyung, (That's me, in case you didn't catch the drift)

For you, he goes digging through a stack of discarded newspapers with a pen and a hastily scribbled cipher, making a few misleading pink marks on certain lines before he sinks into the message itself…

Dear F A V O U R I T E (most subtle and humble) hyung

Rule one: a kind heart is useless.

Rule thirty-one: don’t be afraid to break the rules.

I wish I had realized the thirty-first was the only one you really expected and wanted me to follow. 

I’m at your side ‘til the end of this now. 

I think we might get through it. 

Maybe. 

….right?

He chews on the cap of his pink pen for a second, decides the ending seems a bit….morose, and adds: 

I mean. there’s still half of the Vegas strip to explore.

He takes the cipher, and tucks it into the refrigerator, under a gallon of milk; leaves the newspaper folded up small and shoved into  the top of a box of Cookie Crisp. 

That ought to keep you busy for about five minutes….

[ice-cream-juseyo]

Dear Wolfpup, dear Youngsuk.

Once again, he first goes with a sheet of plain notebook paper. But this time, the lines are carefully outlined in pink marker. 

Dear Wolfpup

Thanks for listening to hyung. Thank you for trusting me to protect you, and not turning your back on me when you saw what I had to do to protect you. I’m sorry I left. I had to, you know? 

I am so glad I found you again. I don’t think I can tell you in a way that can make you understand just how glad I am. I will do everything to keep you and your loved ones safe. 

p.s. my motorcycle still has the dents you put in it. 

He writes the second letter on sunshine yellow paper, a little dinosaur sticker firmly affixed to the corner.

Dear Youngsuk

Hey. It’s your uncle Seunghyun. You are a special little boy, and everyone around you knows it and thinks it. I can’t wait until you’re old enough to make friends and ride bikes, and to learn to fly kites with my little brother Jaesun. 

Trust me, alright? I promised your daddy: I will always keep you safe.