☈CHARACTER HEADCANON GENERATOR ↯ .ᐟ
☒ 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐬.
the most infuriating part is that she never tells anyone.
someone will stumble across an old convention photo online & discover deena spent six months hand-stitching a costume that belongs in a museum. she researches fabrics. ages materials by hand. learns completely unnecessary skills for historical accuracy.
when asked why she spent three hundred dollars recreating a costume nobody would notice the details on, she simply shrugs.
❛ i would notice. ❜
which somehow makes it worse.
☒ 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲.
deena can uncover government conspiracies, identify inconsistencies in witness testimony, and connect impossible dots across multiple investigations.
a smartphone, however, remains her greatest adversary.
she once spent twenty minutes trying to close a browser tab.
she accidentally screenshots things constantly.
there are approximately forty-seven unread notifications on her phone at all times because she refuses to learn what any of the symbols mean.
people assume she's joking.
she isn't.
her relationship with technology is based entirely on hostility & mutual distrust.
☒ 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞.
this is not because she never learned.
it's because driving requires trusting everyone else on the road.
deena barker has met people.
absolutely not.
she knows the rules. understands the mechanics. could probably explain traffic laws better than most licensed drivers.
none of that changes the fact that every time she gets behind the wheel she becomes convinced every other car is participating in a coordinated assassination attempt.
after three near panic attacks & one memorable incident involving a mailbox, she accepted defeat. she walks. she bikes. she manipulates friends into driving her places.
survival comes in many forms.
☑ 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬.
children love her.
nobody understands why.
perhaps it's because deena never talks down to them.
perhaps it's because she treats every ridiculous story with complete sincerity.
perhaps children simply recognize kind people faster than adults do.
either way, they flock to her.
she knows how to listen.
how to sit on the floor during tea parties.
how to answer difficult questions without making a child feel foolish.
she would die before admitting how much she enjoys it.
but there is something healing about being trusted by someone who has not yet learned how cruel the world can be.
☑ 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞.
violently.
spectacularly.
the woman who can remain calm while discussing murder investigations becomes an entirely different person when another driver forgets how turn signals work.
suddenly she's delivering courtroom-quality arguments to strangers through the windshield.
creating elaborate backstories about their incompetence.
questioning their ancestry.
their education.
their decision-making process.
their relationship with god.
the truly impressive part?
she never actually rolls the window down.
all of it happens inside the safety of her own vehicle.
a furious one-woman podcast that nobody else is allowed to hear.
TAGGED BY: @hawkinsown (thanks bby! ;) ) TAGGING: @hawklines | @paladinstales | @sleuthscreams | @eidetic187 | @bennettdiaries
