#mending heart

[rebel-heart-gypsysoul]

“I know my heart will never be the same but I’m telling myself I’ll be okay.” ~ Sara Evans

[ohhaiimelissa]

A year ago today.

A year ago from this moment, I was pulling away from the boy I love who had just broken my heart.

I still love him. I still wish things could work out. I still believe there is something there.

But I refuse to burden myself with him anymore. I am letting him go. I've said my peace. I've given everything. I put the ball in his court again after our last outing a month ago. He said some really nice things, but ended up not having the balls to back any of it up. He simply put the ball down and walked away without hesitation.

I am letting you go.

What a fucking difference a year makes you guys.

[supergirltumbls-blog]

often I wonder do the dates that years later still have meaning to me... do they still have significance to the other people involved? #personal

[bonnieair]

Praise

I feel awfully blessed. I feel awfully at peace in my body. I feel so great that it's almost sickening... High off life, for ever in self love and self respect mode. Glory to my King on high :)

[ohhaiimelissa]

I saw the way you looked at me.

You said my name out loud for the first time in a year today. I don't know which is worse...you being dumb enough to walk away from me, or me being insane enough to still want you.

[ohhaiimelissa]

The text I want to send, but will not.

Hey. I’m just going to say the things you’re not supposed to say because I’ve recently really experienced that life is too damn short to live in fear of uncertainty. It sounds crazy and I know that because it is. So, here goes nothing. I miss you. I still care about you. I wish things didn’t have to end and that it was different.

I want to text you this, but I would rather say it to your face.

You fucker.

[ohhaiimelissa]

Why the fuck can't I stop thinking about you?

It's been so long. I can't keep doing this.

[ohhaiimelissa]

The thing you're not supposed to do; a follow up

It was normal. Like nothing happened. I had fun and you seem good. I'm really happy you agreed, but happier to know that I am brave enough to look the person who broke my heart in the face and not want to crumble anymore. We can have real conversations. It felt good. This won't go anywhere. I just know it. It's been too long and we're just in different places. Thank you for buying my drink. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. Thank you for not bringing any hurtful stuff up. Thank you for thanking me for inviting you. Thank you for saying we should do it again, even though you don't mean it. I don't really know what else to say.