i want to ask a question if its okay...
as i remember u love mydei (at least in your previous blog) but how to deal with loving or self shipping with a male char where his popular mlm ship is much more popular than him as an individual and he is always tied to the other both by fandom and the company too
idk if u ship mydei and phanion but i guessed u don't soo i wanted to ask since im also experiencing this with another char and i don't want to like him anymore because of this💔 its suffering
To be quite honest with you, I personally like most ships in the fandoms I’m in. I lowkey can be convinced to enjoy almost any rarepair if the art or fic is good enough, and I genuinely do enjoy character x character ship content, so in that regard, I’m blessed LOL because I love mydei’s ship with phainon, and I also liked phainon for a bit, so I low key had a poly selfship with both of them at one point
That being said, I don’t judge anyone who feels differently about ships involving their f/o. I really do understand that, logically, the nature of selfshipping can clash with character ships. If you are imagining yourself with a character, then of course you might feel unenthusiastic about seeing that character framed romantically with someone else. So if people want to avoid those ships, I completely get that—BUT, I do think it’s healthy, in the long run, to build a bit of tolerance for seeing popular ships. Not because you have to like them, and not because you owe anyone your comfort, but because ships are such a massive part of fandom culture in general. It’s not even specific to animanga or gacha fandoms, or this side of tumblr. Most fandoms are just naturally heavily centered around shipping in some way, so if a character has a very popular ship, it is usually going to be difficult to avoid forever
Of course, that is way easier said than done. You do not just go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning refreshed and suddenly unbothered by everything. I know it takes time. But I do think it is worth trying to reach a point where you can at least feel neutral toward seeing who other people ship your f/o with. At the end of the day, it is, in the most literal sense, just an imagined romance between fictional characters. That does not mean your feelings are stupid or invalid, but I do think it’s important to keep the scale of things in perspective
And to be clear, even though I like most ships, that does not mean I like every ship. There are definitely some that I hate seeing just because I think they suck LOL. So it’s not that I cannot empathize with you simply because this specific thing does not bother me most of the time. When I do dislike a ship, I usually just filter the ship name on tumblr, especially if it starts showing up on my dash a lot. Since I’m mostly on the x-reader and selfship side of tumblr anyway, I honestly do not see a ton of character ships in general, let alone the very few ones I dislike. So depending on who you follow and interact with, it might not be as unavoidable as it feels. Now, places like twitter and tiktok are definitely harder because the algorithm is more chaotic and will just throw things in your face whether you asked for them or not. But even then, I think the best thing you can aim for is learning to ignore, scroll, mute, block, filter, whatever you have to do, and not let it ruin your fun
I really do think enjoying a character and imagining things how you wish to with them outweighs seeing other people enjoy a completely separate fictional romance involving that same character. Again, I am not saying that judgmentally. I just think it is not worth letting another ship taint your enjoyment of your own selfship. And I do think, objectively, it is healthier to not be deeply affected by every piece of fictional content you come across. That does not happen overnight, but I do think it is a mindset worth working toward because it’s essential to most contexts in fandom even outside of selfshipping if you want to coexist with others and still enjoy yourself. And truthfully, it’s also a mindset that is beneficial in plenty of contexts outside of fandom as well—for your own sake and peace, it’s important to enjoy yourself regardless of what others around you are enjoying, and just because what they like fundamentally challenges what you like, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s something worth taking to heart
