#mercumary

[scubyrojo]

Freeddie x everyone8

Jim: I have a crush on Freddie.

John: Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.

[scubyrojo]

Family Queen14

Freddie: From now on, we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle 1.

Freddie: Brian is "Been There, Done That".

Freddie: Roger is "Currently Doing That".

Freddie: John is "It Happened Once in a Dream".

Freddie: Mary code name is "If I Had To Pick a Girl".

Freddie: Miami is "Eagle Two".

Miami: Oh thank God.

[scubyrojo]

Freeddie x everyone3

(Kashmira is on his book, in his room at the house of Freddie, when Freddie suddenly bursts in, shutting the door behind him, looking frantic. Voices can be heard down the hallway)

Mary: Freddie, where are you…?

Brian: Freddie..?

John: I’ve missed you, Freddie…!

Roger: Freddie, baby, where are you hiding…?

Jim: Hey, Mercury, where are you…?

(Kashmira hears all of them looking for Freddie and grins at him, mischeviously)

Kashmira: What’s up, brother?

Freddie:…They all…all of them…wanna…me. They all either want sex, or dates, or commitment, or marriage, or all of the above - they’re all frickin’ crazy about me! What the hell did I do to deserve this craziness?

Kashmira(shrugs): I guess it’s your good looks and natural charisma.

Freddie(glares upward and shakes his fist):…DAMN YOU, NATURAL CHARISMA…!

Kashmira: What about your good looks?

Freddie: Oh, I’m not gonna curse the good looks, I still wanna keep those.

Omg, I love this xD

[scubyrojo]

Dad!Brian64

“Freddie no” a biography by Kashmira Cooke

“Freddie stop” a sequel by Mary Austin

“Goddammit Freddie” a prequel by Peter Freestone

“Freddie yes” an autobiography by Freddie Mercury

“Freddie….Oh, god yes Freddie.. Fuck.” a trilogy by Jim Hutton

Holy shit xDDD One of the best posts that I’ve ever saw on tumblr.

[scubyrojo]

Freddie: You know, just the other day someone asked who was the most beautiful person in the whole world. You know what I said?

Mary: What did you say?

Freddie: I said… [sees Roger outside the window] Roger?

Mary: Roger?!

Freddie: No! No, that’s not what I was going to say!

Mary: Freddie, you’re not making any sense.

Freddie: I-I mean… sure he’s handsome, he’s rugged-

[scubyrojo]

Mary: Jim, I’m sure you can handle Freddie. He’s mostly harmless.

Freddie: I am not! I can cause enormous amounts of harm and distress!

[scubyrojo]

Freddie Depressive32

Paul: [trying to flirt with Freddie] What’s a man like you doing with a woman like her? [points to Mary]

Freddie: SHH!! I don’t think she knows she could do better!

[scubyrojo]

Jim: [looking at woman who flirts with Freddie] Can I shoot her?

Mary: Not in public.