Aug 22, 2019
the feeling when you look at the last 20 years of your life and you realize people have...given you money to support you doing things you like...not because they feel sorry for you...or because they are obligated to...but because they like you or the things tat you do...and like...want you to be happy
...and then realize that you probably felt the obligation of some authority figure as a child and it really fucked you up on a level so deep it caused doubt to taint most of your interactions.
Mutuality can be genuine and I am allowed to believe it daily. It can be as true as negative projections.
You knew it but you don’t trust it but you are enough and so is your gratitude.