Aug 23, 2024
I fuckin.. I need I need my art to be better man..
I need it to be looser, i need more Life, more Energy, more Colour!!!!! more Stylization!!!!!!! more SHAPES!!!!!! Mood Mood and Tone and Feeling!!!!!!!!!!
and less whatever weird archaic constraints I am holding from Highschool that I can't seem to shake off
I need to Break It a little bit, I need to Bend it until it Sings again..
#Monster noises#unlike my usual Art Gripe posts this one isn't about me looking at my art and seeing something Mediocre#it's me looking at the Objectively Technically Successful thing I'm working on/recently posted and Feeling Nothing From It#and I mean sure we'll chalk a little bit of that up to the depression#cause whether or not I'm feeling Things about the stylization of my work I Should be more giddy than I am#about the husbands finally getting Nasty#outside of just my brain space#but putting that aside the point remains#I'm disappointed by the pieces (and many of my recent pieces and many pieces going back years) lack of Dynamism#I want to capture what the Feeling in image is more than an actual Depiction of the Thing if that makes sense?#Poses should be Pushed#Anatomy eskewed for Shape and expression#but I always always Always Shrink Back#I get to a point and I start thinking 'this looks wrong' and I pull back#I pull back to try and make it look 'right'#and end up reducing it to something...#not Stiff#but limp?#metaphysically Limp#Lacking in the evocative expression I wanted it to have#can you /feel/ the arch of his back like a melody in the back of your head?#or is he just like.. clearly arching his back like a human person would#there's a tacit difference and I am disappointment how rarely I hit the mark on the former#and this is an Old thing and Old old thing#that started in highschool#a long-term bad chain of experiences with a friend and trying to learn to be better artists together#not understanding my needs and how my brain works and trying to fit in a very specific hole i didn't want to fit in#and being chastised for it (though the slight was probably more Received than Intended)#what broke me out of that last time#and kept me from giving up drawing basically