First Entry
My name is Sarah.
I am 20 years old.
I was born in Australia.
I live with my mother and sister.
I wish my father would rot in hell.
I wish I wasn’t so pathetic.
If I could disappear without hurting anyone I would do so in an instant.
I’ve tried to die on multiple occasions.
My last attempt was two months ago.
I’d been considering it for a while but it was the first time I was home alone.
I locked myself in the bathroom.
I had everything ready.
My dog was barking and scratching at the door.
Enough that my neighbours knocked on the door to see if I was alright.
It was strange.
I acted like everything was fine.
Unlocked my front door and said I’d left something on.
Convinced them and they left.
My dog wasn’t convinced.
My darling dog wouldn’t leave me alone.
He knew.
Knew that if I was really alone I would have done it.
I hated him for hours.
When they finally came back I was fine.
I promised him that I wouldn’t try again.
As long as he lives.
Which is going to hurt because I know he doesn’t have long.
I think that’s why he’s still hanging around.
He knows before everyone else does.
He can sense it in me.
my darling dog keeps me alive.
and they don’t even know it.