#mgdb

[catdaddyhaha]

everyday is one step closer to Madison Square Garden #mgdb

[hazelnutoats]

MGDB - day 3

Thirt day of mgdb. It getting quit hard to keep talking about how you feel. Im just tired i guess. We started of with the group again. Just to dicus how we thought everything went. 

Breakfast was yoghurt with cruesli wich my mom poured in for me. It was really hard to see how much yoghurt she wanted me to eat but i guess a good breakfast isn't that bad right.

First therapie was dads and mothers and doughtres sepparate. Dads were talking about how they find it hard to understand everything. We went with our moms to another room. They asked us to draw ourselves on real life scale. Then, our mothers had to trace around us. You could see a big difference between what we think about oursleves and what we really look like. It was hard to see but also and eyeopener i guess.

The lunch was our home made soup with nasi and chicken. It was so much better than the stampot or andijvie. Still i found it difficult to eat soup and nasi at the same time. Its just like eating two dinners at once. I dont need it.

Second therapie was with our dads again. They were asked in to choose wich drawing was their doughter. You could see how they were schocked by the wrond drawings and images of ourselves. Arnoud asked us to lay down a piece of rope just the size of your leg or belly idk. Than messure yourself and lay it next to eachother. Roos and Jitske were scared that they would lay down to big. Lysanne stepped in and said if she would do it so needed roos and Jitske. I thought it was really brave. You could see the girl layed out again, way to big rope circles than the real size was.

As last it was just halve an our talking with just the girls. Its nice to talk with them. I feel understand and save when i tell something thats on my mind. I think they find it the same but not sure though. Tomorrow is the last day and im scared to weigh. I feel like i ate a lot and i need to chalange myself at lunch tomorrow.

[hazelnutoats]

MGDB - day 2

Second day of therapie. We started of at home with my yoghurt with muesli and raisins. At the clinic i ate a slice of bread with butter. I was really scared but i pulled it of and did it.

First therapie was to addopt a child. Parents would swich child and just talk for 3 quaters. I talked with the parents of rebecca. They really want their doughter to open up more but she doesnt. They really liked how i could talk.

At lunch we ate stampot with meat. It was disgusting but cause i wanted to do good for my adoption parents i took quit a bit. I allmost threw it up again but okay. Afterworths caramelvla. A real damn chalenge and after worths i didnt felt okay.

As second therapie we drew a goaltree. Goals you want to reach when youre fighting ed. Everybody had to post notes beneath it with positive sencetes. I thought it was really nice. But also clear some girls are still really strugling.

After the snack we went home and did groseries for tomorrow. Were going to make soup and nassi for the group at lunch. At dinner we ate soup and bread. I feel quit fat and not totaly okay. Its cause i know im eating much more than usual (or thats what i think) i gained 400 gram since yesterday and thats really hard. Tomorrow is a new day with new chalenges. Im excited and scared. changes dor tomorrow: - ontbijt koek en mandrijn - yoghurt met cruesli - nasi en soep - Liga milk en appel

[hazelnutoats]

MGDB - day 1

First day of mgdb today. We started off with how the weekend has been going and after some conversations about how we need to see the eating disorder appart from ourselfs and some good advvices we started breakfast.

Breakfast was okay. I allready had a mandarijn and there i took yoghurt with cruesli. It was different than usual so allready hard. Still i thought dad thought it was way to easy.

As therapie we needed to craft a meal for sunday. Something we would like to eat. We as girls and our parents sepparate. Than get arround the table and discuss what we would definetly eat on sunday. We decidded to eat spareribss with patatoes and vegtables and a dessert of vanilleyoghurt with a banana.

As lunch we ate andijvie with patatoes and a meatball. Gross as fuck! I ate the meatball and patatoes and a dessert of vanille yoghurt. Again a big deal. Even a bigger than breakfast. We walked a little bit to get our heads clear and discuss the other parents and girls.

As last we talked in a group with all the girls how we thought the first day went. We have a lot of support from eachother and its nice to be understood for oce by other girls from around 18

As next step my parents, expecially dad, thought i should go further outside my cofort zone. Wayyy further.For tomorrow the new changes: - Yoghurt met muesli and raisins at home - A slice of bread with butter at the clinic Its like they ask me to jump out of a window covered in spiders in a lioncage. I still need to do it and i know, It's just going to be so hard. I really really really really don't want to do it. I just don't have the guts to say no...

[acciobobdylan-blog]

Happy birthday, David Bowie!