Found a picture of Shinyo from @sleepwalkersqueen’s Fear of You, and used it as a reference. I’m way better at drawing when I have something I’m directly trying to replicate, not in an art stealing way it’s just to help learn. If I’m doing anything wrong please lmk. Gonna try to find a way to add in Keigo in tomorrow, honestly maybe just his head next to his dad’s making the same face. I’m not sure yet
I swear to everyone you should try drawing some ballet poses, they are so much fun to draw :D. To add this was the only time I was able to capture the essence of Amaya, sadly with no face reveal :(.
Character belongs to @sleepwalkersqueen from the story 'Fear of you'.
Note:The first chapter is done! My current goal is to write a chapter for each week but maybe it will take two weeks sometime but that is an issue for future me. I am really excited to see some feedback and how you guys like it:). On another note, while I try my best to keep a relatively straight line and facts with the original story some things might be wrong, please feel free to correct me if it happens ♥️. My current goal is a total of 5 chapters since I only want these to be a relatively short story that doesn't rewrite too much stuff happening in the original story because I obviously don't just wanna rewrite the fic. Please enjoy!
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Warnings: I am not a therapist so please take everything written here not as a prime example or as a fact, mention of torture, curse words
Chapter 1
I always wanted to see what more Tartarus had to offer. I wanted to explore every single floor there was. Meeting a new and more dangerous villain each day. Getting to know their thought process, if there really was a bigger masterplan behind it.
Answering my questions that spiraled in my brain like an endless loop. Are they actually wicked? Do they have any sign of humanity in them? Are they just broken souls? Can such a broken mind be fixed? Cliché I know.
All these questions are the real reason why I wanted to work here. Luck was on my side at the time I applied, because they wanted to test out if a therapist might be able to help them with their work (Which basically summarized that they wanted to get more information out of the patients).
But even when I worked with them they still continued with the methods they used before. This did not help make progress since I also had to work with their new experienced trauma which was already bigger than the universe.
If I am honest they were hesitant to hire me, since I graduated young from university and had no experience whatsoever. It took over a month and another month of internship to make them believe that I was cut out for the job. Even now they still don't fully trust me with their whole system. After all, I was a weak point for them.
Once I had the job I was more than thrilled. Finally able to do what I dreamed of since I was a kid. Even though there was still much to achieve. Of course, there is also the aspect of trying to make them stop their own ways for mine to finally be able to bloom just a little bit.
Seeing the number two pro hero walk up to me one day with his mighty steps that sounded like mountains crashing together I would lie if I said I didn't feel my heartbeat stop for a moment. Let alone when he talked to me for two seconds before giving me all I ever wanted with his angry and demanding attitude.
The moment I was granted this wish of mine I regretted it. Not because I stopped believing in my dream but because seeing the actual part of no one should know is frightening. Frightening might even be an understatement.
Their voice, movements, and the way their bodies looked were scaringly disgusting. The air smelt rotten and it was cold not only because of the temperature. People are being drugged out of their brains to keep them calm, they all look like corpses that have been exposed to warmth and air for too long.
From my plain observation, it even seemed like mutants are treated worse than the other prisoners. Which is a common thing even in normal standards of society. I cannot even blame them because mutants can be incredibly scary.
Tartarus. A name that ran a chill down each villain's spine. A place where the moment you step into you may never escape alive. Rumors spread across the underground like wildfire. About what will happen once you are captured and what you have to endure.
The villains that are imprisoned in Tartarus don't make the facility this scary I realized. Maybe the good people think that they are the reason for all this talk, but this is where they are wrong.
"Do whatever you want"
Just remembering those four simple words made my skin crawl. Goosebumps spread across my body. A sentence you might say to a child that you have no interest in dealing with. Or maybe to your trusted hairstylist.
But not to a licensed therapist who is capable of either destroying you or building you back up. Or to the guards who held the interrogation.
The meaning behind the words held something so incredibly heavy I wanted to forget every memory of someone saying these words, no matter who or when.
Because they meant it. They didn't care if I did my job right or not because I wasn't even supposed to be there. I could do whatever I wanted with the person in front of me. The people who have no way of defending themselves because of their chains and quirk suppressors.
The air in the small bright room was filled with tension that I created by possibly the worst mistake ever. The guards who were still in the room with me looked at me confused. The only comfort I had at the moment was that the person I directed the mistake to couldn't answer at the moment. But even seeing his eyes shoot up was enough to make me rethink my life choices.
I can clearly feel my face losing its color out of shock from my totally unprofessional behaviour.
"you're so gorgeous"
Whatever ghost possessed me to say that clearly needed new activities to entertain themselves.
With the love for everything I possessed, I cleared my throat and sat down on the chair at the table they provided.
"You can take off the muzzle" my voice rang through the empty room with an echo. It left a chill in my body hearing it so metallic.
The guards hesitated for a moment before they actually started doing their job. They left the room when I gave them another glare, signaling to give us privacy like I asked them to.
Takami-San looked physically exhausted yet his eyes remained sharpness that you don't see very often in patients around here. He had a big grin on his face that I wished I could just wipe off of his face, even if I was the cause of this.
For some reason, he stayed silent. Maybe it was because he was already taunting me or he was waiting for me to introduce myself, I couldn't tell.
"I am Howashi Amaya, I will be your assigned therapist" I introduced myself, a genuine and respectful smile resting on my face.
"Therapist? Sounds fake, they don't care about how fucked up I am" he tilts his head to the side, eyeing me up and down like a bird.
"You're right they don't care, which is why they told me to do whatever I want"
For some odd reason, he seemed to tense up from these words, I wonder why.
"So I decided to just do what I am best at"
"Being a charming girl?"
At that, I took a deep breath. I scrunched my face and looked down at my empty sheet of paper.
When I looked back up he was grinning again god he looked so good stupid.
"Actually no. I meant I will try to help you"
"Help me get out of this shithole?"
"not really I am afraid"
"Ahh shucks"
I waited for a second before actually starting my usual procedure. Which on second thought seemed to be a little too late.
"How has it been?" I click my pen while looking at him, ready to write down whatever I could tell from his response.
"Really? Do you actually ask people this in fucking prison?" His voice sounds raspy.
"I didn't ask how you felt, just how it has been. You could answer nearly everything on it. How you feel, how the people treated you-"
"fucking brilliant, you should get a medal for being a smartass"
"Thank you for calling me smart, I appreciate it"
I silently tap my pen on the paper. Waiting for any kind of reaction from him. As the silence settled I started to notice some weird marks on his neck, they looked kinda infected.
"What do you have on your neck there?" I gestured with the pen on my own neck.
As soon as the question was spoken he tensed and looked more traumatized than a baby chicken that just discovered the big scary world. He broke off the eye contact he previously held with me. His body huddled up in an attempt to look smaller and protect himself, probably with his wings but he wasn't able to do it. Uncomfortable if I need to describe it in one word.
I probably don't need a deeper answer to figure out why they might be there. I silently stand up and walk around the table. He tried to move away from my hands when I reached out but because of the chains, he couldn't move far enough away.
Ever so gently I pulled the collar down and placed my hands on the marks. A familiar warmth spread across my hands and I started to feel how the infected wounds closed and healed.
When I was done I took a step back looking satisfied down at him before returning to my chair.
"Aye... Of course, the doctor has a healing quirk" he mumbles silently.
"Do you have anything you wanna talk about?"
" Aye, why are you here? Never heard of someone like you even working here. Doesn't seem like their style to hire a fucking therapist to fix me or anyone really"
"Good question" I nod in agreement "The answer is simple, I am the only therapist around here. That is why you've never heard of me. The last question shouldn't bother you too much after all you have been here for quite some time and are already in debt worth more than my monthly check"
"Have you ever seen a therapist before?" I ask with a light smile on my face.
"Do I fucking look like it?"
Silence.
"Besides I don't need another bitch asking me any more questions, I have the sparkler for that"
"Sparkler? You mean the number two?"
"Nah I mean the nice guard's captain obvious"
Another silence.
"And I don't need anyone knowing about the stuff I tell him, it's private business." He said in an oddly calm voice.
That certainly amazed me, since I have seen all the recordings of their talk, except the first one. So he wasn't aware that everyone was still listening in. Maybe this will one day be their downfall, why would he be so stern about keeping this a secret if it wasn't necessary.
"Why should no one listen in?"
"Because I said so"
This will be a lot of fun.
"Well with me you can talk about everything you share with Endeavour. No one is listening or watching. I like to keep my talks up to my hands, especially what I share with the government"
The room was filled with the sunlight shining through the window above the kitchen counter. The light shone through the leaves of the plants sitting at the window.
It was peaceful. The air was fresh and smelled faintly of fish and rice.
The only sound that destroyed the peace was the TV that played the news
Yet the only real news would be that someone escaped Tartarus and that still isn't public information. I wonder what will happen once the public knows.
Once I turned the TV off the silence that came with it was broken with a call. When I read who was calling I felt my mood drop just a little bit.
"Howashi speaking, what can I help you with today hottest hero in Japan"
"He escaped me!" The man yelled angrily, ignoring my terrible joke.
"who escaped you?" I ask grinning widely.
"Takami! That fucking mutant had his brat stealing my wife's necklace"
He has a child? Now that is a surprise. Even a bigger surprise was that he was stupid enough to let his child steal something from him.
"And how is that my problem?" I ask while standing up and staring out the window biting my nails.
"You worked with him for five years! You know exactly what is going on in his stupid birdbrain" Endeavour yelled. I am not even sure why he is yelling at me, I would hear him loud and clear with a normal tone.
"First of all that is extremely rude talking about mutants like that, I am one as well after all, and not even different from Shinyo. Second just because I worked with him does not mean I understand everything he does"
"But you know where he might go"
I nervously tap my fingers on the kitchen counter. Closing my eyes to contemplate if I actually know where he might go.
If I break it down it comes back to one thing, he has a child and is currently taking care of them. But knowing he has unfinished business makes it counterproductive to take care of a child who has to be at least five or four years old. He probably didn't even know the child existed since he never talked about having one, only about his wife Nitsuki.
Nitsuki? Right, he might be searching for her so he can give her the child. But why wasn't she with them?
"I might have an idea but to be honest it is not crystal clear that he is with her"
"Her?"
"Takami Nitsuki, his wife. If he has a child he will certainly not have any time to deal with it and will try to bring it back. The only question I still have is if she really left the child alone and why he has to bring it back"
"Those are two questions and I want you to come to my agency to discuss this further" he demanded. Almost sounded like I didn't have a choice.
"Alright, I can fly over, when?"
"Now" and he hung up the phone after that. Not even a goodbye.
Once I was dressed and didn't look like I just got out of bed. I walk outside of my apartment building taking off my suppressors.
Once I felt the warmth on my back and my wings regrowing I took a small jump before dashing into the air.
I just hope this story will end on a relatively good note.
This story was inspired by "Fear of you" from @sleepwalkersqueen so go check the original out.
Note: Wuhu! Finished Chapter Two and Number Three is already in the making:). A little fun fact I had to rewrite this chapter because for some odd reason, Tumblr posted this and I panicked and had to delete it, it was a sad day. Hope you guys enjoy it and a big thanks for all the positive feedback♥
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Warning:curse words, still not a therapist so things may be more of an artistic choice than helpful, not sure if there are more warnings needed(tell me if I missed something)
Chapter 02
The world was filled with glowing lights and the sound of an excited crowd. The sweat dripped down my skin like the silver tears of a mystical being.
The movements of my body acted like an instinct I always had. My voice was caught by the microphone near my mouth and filled the stuffy room with a sound I remember so clearly.
When I looked to the side for a mere second I could see my best friend feeling exactly what I was feeling. The Ecstasy flooding through our veins pushed us to a performance unlike any other.
The feeling held up as we walked off the stage, my heart pounding in my chest as I tried to have a relatively steady walk.
Sitting down at the makeup table with the biggest smile I had ever seen on my face. My friend still hugged me tightly from the side, rubbing her head against my shoulder.
"That was the most amazingest show we ever did! And your singing Amaya!" Minori chimed happily.
"It really was, still can't believe I was allowed to sing, considering how strict the rules are here" I chuckled.
"I can already see one of those fancy managers seeing you and biting each other's heads off to get ya"
"I won't get my hopes up too high, I like sharing the stage with all of you afterall"
"Oh come now! You deserve more than an underground Burlesque bar to perform in. You have the talent to be more" Minori pulled up a chair beside mine, letting her body fall down on it like a doll.
"Like I said I will not get my hopes up too high, I still have my Psychology studies to focus on"
"I really can't seeya taking care of other peoples problems"
I roll my eyes with a smile before starting to redo my makeup.
I flinched when Minori started yelling suddenly.
"He texted!!!" She yelled and started shaking me violently.
"The big guy?" I ask while holding her in place on her shoulders.
"Yes! He texted, he wants to see me again"
"Just be careful, I don't trust the men coming here, especially not that one, heard he is a big fish in the undergound"
"I am sure it will be fine!" She said in a calm tone giving my shoulder a light tap to calm me.
Even with Minoris reassuring words the uneasiness I felt remained in the back of my head.
With a big thud, the door closed behind me, crashing in the locks like thunder. Like usual the room was empty except for a table and a chair placed in the middle, cold and unwelcoming.
With quick steps, I let my bag fall to the ground and sit down on the chair. Placing my coffee mug on it before correcting my posture and clicking my pen.
"Good morning" I greeted happily, eyes looking at the man sitting in front of me.
Still looking half asleep, probably hadn't been too long since they woke him up or perhaps he couldn't sleep. Even if one would think having been here for a year you would get used to the light always being on.
"How has it been?"
"You sound like a robot" he rasped. Chuckling ever so lightly, but this time a lot more tired than usual.
"And you sound half asleep so I guess we both have our issues to work out"
"Nah, have been awake for too long no issue"
"Did something happen?" I ask as my ears perked up in interest.
"Did no one tell the arrogant little princess?" He laughed in the most taunting way I ever heard him laugh "I had another mock execution"
I wrote that down before looking back up to him again.
"Well I am glad you are still here"
"Fuck.you"
"If you feel ready we can continue this or maybe we can talk about the-" I said ignoring his remark.
"Keep wishing I'll tell you anything" he snarled.
My mouth stayed open for a second before closing. Tapping my fingernails against the clipboard, take a deep breath as I try to find the correct words to use.
"Why is it that you still don't trust me? Not even a little bit?" I asked staring into his eyes with genuine interest.
"Aye, I have no reason to trust you. Besides I already have the number two as my lapdog"
"So you trust Endeavour because he proved one time that the conversations are private?"
"At least he proved it, unlike some humans" The way the word human rolled off his tongue sounded like the worst insult ever given to anyone.
"Very well," I say before rummaging through my bag. Taking out a yellow Bento box with some duckling stickers on it.
I opened the box and was met with the smell of rice, chicken, and some nicely cut vegetables.
"It is highly against the rules to give prisoners any kind of nutritious food, with the reasoning that they should not gain strength. I could lose my job for a simple thing like that" I explain already separating some chicken, rice, and a few vegetables on the box lid. "Real funny if you ask me".
I stand up to walk around the table and place the homemade plate in front of him. After that, with a quick motion, I loosened the chains so he would be able to eat for himself.
"It's poisoned," he said looking down with a suspicious eye on the food.
"Trust me it isn't"
"Prove it"
"No thanks"
"Then I won't eat it"
"It isn't poisoned. It wouldn't make sense for me to do so"
"At least one bite of the chicken" he argued.
I could feel the uneasiness creep up my spine.
"I don't eat chicken. My boyfriend made that for me so there shouldn't be any poisonous substances in it"
He stared at me for a moment. If it was because of the chicken or my boyfriend I couldn't tell.
His mouth opened and closed a few times before he was able to find the correct words.
"You have a boyfriend?"
The question didn't surprise me but it still felt rather stupid to even bring this up, on my part. Giving people, especially villains, a weak point is never good.
"Yes, now eat up"
"How? You sound way too arrogant for any man wanting to be near you, let alone fu-"
I stared at him wide-eyed. Feeling rage bubbling up inside of me that I try to suppress. I blinked maybe once, maybe twice before saying the most honest thing I could in that moment.
"First of all fuck you. Second I thought I told you to eat so please do before I decide to practice force-feeding on you"
"Please do" He laughed leaning his head to the side. "Would be my pleasure to bite your finger off"
"I won't do it"
"Hah! Knew you were jus-"
"Because that is one of the worst things I have ever seen done here and I don't want to practice that"
He stayed silent with an unreadable expression. After some time in silence passed he started to slowly eat the food. Very slowly he started chewing on each bite like he would need to leave if he finished too quickly.
I let him finish his food before packing it all away again, leaving his chains loose like I was not scared to be hurt by him.
"Did you have a partner?" I ask while drawing ugly little baby birds on my paper.
"I still have"
I stop mid-drawing to look up to him again. Leaning against the armchair tapping my chin with the pen lightly.
"Can I ask for their name or is that too much?"
He hesitated, that was clear with the way his gaze went to the side and his teeth biting his lip.
"Nitsuki" he mumbled.
I decided to not write that down, in favor of not accidentally sending an entire squad to her doorstep. Afterall she didn't exactly do anything harsh.
"What's your boyfriend's name?" He asked while looking at me with his piercing eyes. He sounded calmer again.
"Riku. What did you like about her?"
"She was calm, always. Couldn't read her for shit"
"That's what you liked about her? That's not the best trait to have if you ask me, sounds like she never cared much"
"I didn't ask you" he spat, clearly offended by how I spoke about her.
"Sorry. How did you two get together?"
"Why does this matter?"
"I am merely curious"
"Aye of course... It wasn't special, just met her and knew I should marry that girl"
"Wait hold on for a second!" I raise my hand in a waiting moment. "How long did you know her for you to decide to marry her?"
"Not long?"
"Are you braindead? You can't marry someone you just met, especially not if you can't even read her at least a little bit"
"Hawks mate for life, there is no undoing of falling in love and it was the right choice"
I didn't buy that, it sounded more like a one-sided thing and I haven't even got a lot of information.
"You may be a mutant but don't forget you are also human"
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He glared at me with rage in his eyes.
"It means exactly what I said. Someone who may be half-hawk doesn't mean they share every single trait. To put it simply, there is no one true mate for you, because that would be a trait for an actual hawk not a human like hawk"
I didn't know what I had expected to happen after my words. But perhaps him jumping at me trying to claw my eyes out with his talons wasn't really on my mind, especially since I was sure he had quirk suppressors and all that important safety stuff.
The only good side of this happening was that he still had chains and they were still too short to reach me...
...Once I moved two steps away from him.
My chair was falling to the cold ground with a loud noise that rang in my ears. My eyes were wide open from the shock, I could feel my body tensing up.
Breath
Now I knew for sure that I pushed his buttons too hard too soon. Even my instinct told me to run call it a day and a success but for some odd reason, I wanted to stay just a little longer.
I decided to sat down on the floor, crossing my legs. I closed my eyes for a second, only breathing and trying to blend out his yelling. Never thought he could become this aggressive.
Even if I wanted to blend out his yelling I still needed to listen to him to calm him.
"You have no fucking clue what it is like to be born a mutant!"
"You are just a dumb fucking bitch who does everything for money!"
The scene right in front of me made me sick to my stomach. I didn't even look properly since I only got here but when Endeavour called me and told me about a motel where Shinyo probably was and what happened I couldn't shake the feeling of what I would do if it was true.
My eyes scanned over the crowd of people and the barricades from the police. With small steps, I started walking inside the crime scene, the motel where it happened.
Endeavor was standing at the side talking to policemen. As I walked over to where the body was lying.
Some police officers made sure I knew the rules before allowing me to take a closer look.
I don't think any words would be able to describe the pure horrific, disgusting horror lying in front of me.
No one would blame me for not looking too long.
I turned around on my heel and walked over to Endeavour.
"Endeavour," I said looking up at the big flame hero "Can we talk?"
"Hmph" he puffed and walked with me to the side, steps so heavy it felt and sounded like the floor would break.
"Why am I even here? We both know it wasn't him"
"We know that yes, but he was here I am sure. And since I can't calm the public alone I need someone who worked with him on a different level"
And again it sounded like I didn't had much of a choice
Getting some fresh air after talking and getting into a nice little restaurant was a good idea. Sitting down on a table and being greeted by an...
Abnormally large chef was a good thing happening.
"What can I do for you little lady?" He asked with a gentle smile.
"Oh just something to eat, as long as there is no meat in it everything is fine" I lean back in the chair stretching my arms.
"Of course!" The chef said and disappeared into the kitchen.
Beside me the restaurant was empty. It smelled of various different foods and spices that bundled up into a mouthwatering experience.
"Is it okay if it tastes like meat?" He yelled from the kitchen. What a sweet considered man.
"It is, as long as it isn't chicken" I answer.
When he placed the food in front of me I thanked him nicely before starting to eat the noodle soup he prepared.
The TV was running quietly in the background and I heard him humming while he was cleaning a table.
The soup was delicious. I never was the best at describing food or perhaps it was the strong taste of pork that filled all my predatory senses with delight but this noodle soup was the best thing I ever ate.
"It's really good" I tell him while swallowing a bite.
"Oh thank you! I tried to make it something special, rarely does someone ask for something without meat" he explained happily.
The news had a tendency to replay itself quite often. Hearing them talk about the motel crime and linking it to Shinyo I groaned annoyed.
"Seriously, they can't even listen to people telling them facts"
"Huh? What do you mean by that? This is horrible what happened, especially since he escaped prison..." The chef said in an odd tone of voice. I can hear his heartbeat going up.
"It wasn't Takami. I worked with him for five years in prison and Endeavour agrees"
"Wait what?"
"Believe it or not but that man is actually a pretty decent guy, if we forget about his crimes of course, and general mental problems," I explain while continuing eating "But now I wanna know why you look so pale and sound like you are hiding something".
"Oh uh... It's nothing" He stopped cleaning and looked over at me with an uneasy expression.
"You sure? If he was here I would appreciate it if you told me"
"I can't"
"The threat he gave you will not hold up if you tell him Howashi asked"
"I uh... But my... My son..."
"Trust me"
He tapped his foot nervously on the ground while playing with the towel in his hand. He cleared his throat and nodded.
"Alright... Yes, he was here with his little son. I gave them something to eat and a sewing kit, he had a wound he closed with uh... His son together."
"Did he say where he would wanna go?"
"No, I am sorry I don't know"
"It's fine, thank you very much."
I finish my food and walk up to him to pay.
"Keep the change, as a payment for the food he for sure didn't pay for"
"oh no no no! I gave it to them for his son"
"It's fine, really."
With a last wave goodbye, I left the nice restaurant I plan on visiting more frequently. Pulling out my phone and typing a message for an old friend of mine I haven't talked to in years.
