#mhageorgia

[mental-health-advice]

I saw this post a while back that said you can't be trans without it being rooted in sexism/gender roles? I was just getting comfortable with being genderfluid but this post just made me feel really guilty and invalid ugh idk what to do now.. -bowser

Hi darling :)

Gender can often be really hard to define and there are lots of different genders, sexual preferences, gender roles, etc. But alot of people just don’t fit into a box at all and that’s totally fine. Labels can be really frustrationg for people. I’ve noticed recently that ‘gender’ and 'sexism’ is quite a big thing, especially on tumblr. There are lots of articles and posts about what’s normal and what’s valid in regards to gender and identity. Personally, I was born female but I feel I have no gender. I think it’s great that you are comfortable with being genderfluid and if you’re comfortable, do what you think is best. I’m sure you look fabulous no matter what you wear honey! Genderfluidity can sometimes be seen as weird or strange, but it’s simply a life choice or a personal preference. These are your choices and whatever you feel more comfortable with is more important than what someone else thinks is 'okay’ or 'valid’. Your gender identity (no matter what it might be) is great and it may make you happier if you can live by the values you feel are most comfortable. You’re doing great and it’s great you have found yourself!

Be comfortable and proud with who you are. You’re great, and your gender fluidity is valid <3lots of love, Georgia xx

[mental-health-advice]

What makes a person trans? I have very recently felt uncomfortable with my female body, and I've started to wish to look like/be referred to as a boy. But I can't remember feeling this way as a kid. Now I keep switching pronouns for myself in my head and feel upset when people use female pronouns for me. Is it possible to go most of your life not knowing you're trans? -Tart

Hey sweetie :)I'm really sorry you may be feeling a little confused right now, but hopefully I can try to help on your journey of self discovery.

Deciding that you are transgender is a really big decision; there are alot of procedures and steps you have to take in order to become your desired gender. There is a link right here all about transgender (ftm) and the processes you may take! It's awesome that you kind of know how you feel most comfortable and it is great that you're getting to know yourself and who you wanna be. Finding out who you are can be really hard and sometimes alot of people can't really accept themselves, but you seem to be on a good path so that's great! There are other genders rather than transgender that may include:

Cisgender: Types of gender identity where an individual's experience of their own gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth.

Bigender: a person who fluctuates between traditionally “woman” and “man” gender-based behavior and identities, identifying with both genders (and sometimes a third gender)

Third Gender: (1) a person who does not identify with the traditional genders of “man” or “woman,” but identifies with another gender; (2) the gender category available in societies that recognize three or more genders

There are also more definitions right here.

Pronouns can also come very differently, and you may not want she/her or he/him. Others include:

Ne e.g. Ne likes nemself

Ve e.g. Ve likes verself

Ze (or Zie) e.g. Ze likes hirself or Ze likes zirself

Xe e.g. Xe likes xemself

Sources here. I know that our admin Nate is very good at pronouns!

There is always a right time to think about who you are, and you never really know who you are. You've just gotta think about who you are inside, and research to find your preferred self. I promise, you're gonna do great!

I hope this helped alot <3lots of love, Georgia xx

[mental-health-advice]

Today my sister graduated high school. While I'm very proud of her, I can't help feeling sad. I was supposed to graduate from college last month, but I couldn't do it and dropped out - which my parents will never let me forget about. I can't help but feel so worthless. I see my sister accomplishing so much and going out with friends, while in stuck at home with a dead-end job and I'm not allowed to see my friends. I also have a hard time talking about my feelings to people. Please help. -crimson

Hi Crimson :)It's awesome your sister graduated high school! Please wish her a congratulations from everyone here at MHA, it's a massive achievement.

However, don't worry about feeling sad. Often watching siblings succeed whilst you feel like you haven't is a little daunting and I can understand how you feel. Educational settings are really hard, and subjects are sometimes hard and we may feel like we might fail or that we have failed. But always believe in yourself.

Dropping out of college may have been the best idea for you at the time since you felt like you couldn't do it anymore, but there are a million opportunities out there for you to achieve in academically and through personal skills; you can even develop personal skills without noticing. I promise, you can achieve. My advice would be to apply again; even if you don't know what you wanna do as a career. Apply for subjects you are interested in, or something you want to work with in the future. Never give up, you can achieve.

If you get into a college and are still having a hard time, don't worry about it. We try, we fail. We try again, we succeed. It's all about trying your best and you will see benefit in the end. Sweetie, it's also okay to ask for support. This might be from teachers, guidance counsellors, careers ambassadors, other students; literally anyone in your college would be very willing to help I'm sure!

I wish you all the luck in the world, and I hope you get into college and achieve to the best of your ability <3lots of love, Georgia xx

[mental-health-advice]

I want to talk about something but I will get sad or more angry to myself But i will say this My past is creeping up again and I hate my childhood memories I just I hate it so much I don't even want to remember but the only way to forget about it just to get high its works for me but every 4am its comes again -xa

Hi there :)I'm sorry to hear that you are having this awful experience, but hopefully I can help you to find some things that might help you.

Sweetie, it's important to understand that keeping everything bottled up is not good for you and it can make things worse. We have a live chat that is available for you to use (depending on the availability of live chat admins), but we are willing to help you if you ever wanna vent. Something else that may interest you, we run venting groups every week - you may wanna see the list with what applies to you, and work around your time zone. 

The past is something we cannot change, therefore it may always be in the back of your mind. But I promise, you are not alone. Everyone has something from their past that they may not wanna particularly talk about. And that's okay, because we can all find someone to talk to about it. Getting high is not good for you, and you should find alternative ways to get things out. Perhaps consider getting help. Talking to a counsellor/therapist about your experience may help a whole lot. They won't pass any information on and they will listen to anything you have to say. They're all extra helpful! Also, think about breathing exercises. They often help to clear your head if you are ever thinking of these bad things you would rather not bring up. There are also web counsellors/hotlines that will help you.

I promise, everything will be okay. You are so brave for dealing with these issues and I'm really proud of you.lots of love, Georgia xx

[mental-health-advice]

I've somehow managed to keep my crap together the past little while. mental health wise, life wise, school wise, etc. Yeah, things have been stressful but Im trucking on. I started testosterone, been on it 4 weeks. Im just really sad despite all the positives happening. I've been thinking a lot about just taking a week off from my classes. Not because I don't want to be in class, but because I just need to cool my mind. I just dont want to lose any grades :( Any suggestions? #animalriot

Hi sweetie :)It's great to hear you're trying to keep things together despite the fact you've had a hard time with multiple issues. This clearly shows that you're a strong person and that's really awesome!

Sweetie, just because you have so many positives and motivation in your life right now, it doesn't mean you have to be happy about it. I have the most perfect boyfriend and I'm enjoying life right now, but I still have days where I'm really down and that's okay. Obviously you are going through some major changes right now and things might be stressful for you to adapt to since there will be slight differences. But I promise, it's okay to feel sad or down about life even though your situation may be better than others. It's okay to cry. However, you may be surprised to see this list of side effects of testosterone that may interest you!

With all these changes and stresses in your life, class just can't be skipped since it may affect attendance or progress. However, you may wanna talk to your class teachers, student support, or perhaps a guidance counsellor about your work. They may give you a little time off, or perhaps more time to do work. Even better, they may allow you to have time alone (e.g. in a class by yourself, in the library area, etc.) to get on with your own private study which might be more helpful. This way, you aren't in the chaos of others in the class and you get to study and keep your progress flowing.

I hope this helped alot! Good luck with T <3lots of love, Georgia xx

[mental-health-advice]

I have social anxiety. I'm not comfortable with my body at all. In a few days I have to go to a swimming pool, so I have to wear a swimsuit and I don't want to. I'm crying, I'm feeling so stupid but I'm really afraid of showing my body to a lot of people. I can't avoid the situation and I don't have any other kind of swimsuits apart of a bikini :/ -BvR

Hi darling :)I'm sorry to hear you're having a little bit of a hard time right now, but I'm sure you're gorgeous and hopefully I can help.

Being body positive is something that is sometimes hard for some people; I know it has taken me years to be satisfied with how I look and sometimes I don't like how I look at all. Everyone has issues sometimes and is not satisfied with their looks and that's totally okay. You don't need to be ashamed of your body; everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, with different features and characteristics.

Sweetie, just because you're going to a swimming pool doesn't mean you have to get in. You could roll up some jeans or trousers, or possibly wear a skirt. Sit at the side of the pool and just dip your feet in. That way, you're engaging but you don't have to get undressed at all. Also, you may wanna make the excuse that you're on your period so you can't get in. I used to do this all the time in high school and it worked! So that could be an idea. However, if you do wanna have fun without feeling too pressured to feel okay about yourself, perhaps invest in a full bathing suit rather than a bikini, and possibly boys swim shorts. This might sound silly, but this is what I used to do as I wasn't comfortable with my thighs at the time. Nobody judged me or looked at me any differently so it was an awesome plan!

I really hope you have a fun time, whether you swim or not, but love yourself. You're beautiful. Here are 20 ways to love your body, and 9 ways to love yourself <3lots of love, Georgia xx

[mental-health-advice]

I sent an ask signed Blake last night and I wanted to add something - I have never been able to talk to ANYONE about stuff like that. I've heard it helps to get to know a therapist and treat them as a friend, but I don't talk to my friends about my mental health problems or anything at all. I just don't know how. -Blake

Hi Blake :)I'm sorry I didn't see this ask further up in the box! However I did answer the first half you sent in via your requested hashtag <3

Talking to people about how you feel can be really hard, but talking to a therapist can make you feel a little more at ease. They won't tell anyone else what your sessions are about (unless they have reason to e.g. if yourself or others may be in danger). Therapists can be treated as friends, but they are a little different. They won't tell anyone your secrets, they will be very lovely to you and help in lots of ways; however, they won't give advice, but constructive criticism encouraging you to make your own decisions and come to your own conclusions. Therapists understand your mental health problems; they have been trained to deal with issues and they see different types of individuals with multiple issues each day. I promise, everything will be fine!

I hope this answered your second half of the question <3 lots of love, Georgia xx

[mental-health-advice]

Hi! I suspect that I might have PTSD b/c of something traumatic from when I was younger. My mom brings it up a lot, b/c she feels guilty about it I guess, & I get panic attacks. I don't want to tell her b/c I don't want her to feel worse about it. -B

Hi there :)I'm sorry to hear that you have had a traumatic experience in the past, and I hope you get past this someday <3

I'm afraid I can't determine whether you have PTSD as I'm not a qualified doctor, psychiatrist or therapist. Self diagnosis can be dangerous for many reasons (e.g. can lead to misconceptions of an illness, taking meds you don't need, etc.). My advice to you would be to see your doctor and get a full check up. They may refer you to a psychiatrist to finalise their findings - this will help you alot. They may give you medication, or even diagnose you with something other than PTSD. It may put your mind at rest so I strongly recommend you do this! My advice would be not to tell your mum about PTSD (or any other problems you suspect) unless you have been diagnosed officially by a professional.

Just double check some symptoms and see if you check in with them first:

Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)

Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma

Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma

Difficulty falling or staying asleep

Those are just 4 out of many, but you can find them all right here along with more information. I hope you're okay <3Our getting help page can give you more information on how to get diagnosed, and what help there is out there.lots of love, Georgia xx