And the slowest path to success.
This is an incredibly relatable post. Brilliant write up.
A few quotes:
I was always looking for the easy answer. . . . I was in constant search for my passion, for an easy way to make a living and for the meaning of my depressing life.
I was stuck in the frustration of not knowing what I wanted or what direction to head in. . . . I wanted nothing more than to figure it out. Or at least to have the confidence to believe in my pursuit whenever I did get some vague ideas.
While sulking about not having my dreams all figured out, I started to look into ways of making quick money, thinking that at least that would buy me some freedom and time.
But without passion or a why behind it, nothing worked.
I just saw dead ends everywhere I looked.
No matter how much I tried, or how much my friends offered helpful tips and suggestions, I only saw obstacles.
I couldn’t change jobs, because I didn’t have the right education or experience for the jobs I preferred. . . . When I was single, I couldn’t see how I would meet someone and when I was in a relationship, I only felt trapped.
I saw all the failures before they happened, so I did nothing.
For some inexplicable reason, it seemed easier to work hard at something I didn’t want, rather than to work at getting closer to where I wanted to go. Somehow, I thought that waiting for a brilliant solution to one day just fall from the sky and land in my lap, was the simplest path. That it was the shortcut.
I was so obsessed looking for the end goal, I never even started. I wanted to only do things that would lead me directly to my finish line. I thought everything else was a waste of time.
Just over two years ago something happened to shift my mindset. . . . Instead of focusing directly on an undefined goal, I started focusing on improvement.
Without that, I can’t get anywhere anyway, or even if I by some miracle would get somewhere, I wouldn’t be ready for it.
After this shift, I started setting up new daily routines, I started with super simple exercises, both physical and mental. . . . I do at least ten to fifteen things every day now that I never did before.
I may not have known, and I still don’t know, what my end goal is. I don’t know how I will make a living in the future or where I will live or who I will have around me.
I could have spent another couple of decades looking for the shortcut to these, but instead I am now doing everything I do because I want to be ready. I want to be strong, I want to seek out new ideas and opportunities.
Now, I spend hours, days and weeks on creative projects that nobody has asked for and that doesn’t give me any income at all. It brings me something much more valuable than money — it gives me skills, knowledge, new ideas ideas and satisfaction.
I seek out like-minded people. I am deep into the world that I want to live in, even though I can’t live there yet.
By taking this longer path, I am closer to the life I want than ever before. I am happier, more confident and calmer. I am more self-aware and I have learned much more than I could ever explain or have imagined. I get better ideas and they come to me more often.