It's Open Season on Parents
Parents should not be above criticism, but the hysterical reaction to two stories, one about the cancellation of a Colorado Springs Easter Egg Hunt and bogus story about Park Slope Parents wanting to ban Ice-cream trucks tells us more about our current climate of intolerance than the problems with parenting culture.
The New York Times ran a follow up piece to the original New York Post story, interviewing Dorothy Scanlan, the unfortunate mother whose comments were published by the article's author, Michael Gartland, without her permission.
Reading Ms Scanlan's comments in context, it's pretty clear that she is not advocating for a ban on ice cream trucks or anything of the sort. But she and other parents in the neighborhood been subjected to almost ritualized public condemnation.
"Dorothy Scanlan", wrote one commenter in the Post, "You are what is wrong with society. I wish cancer upon you.!!!!!!" Another writes "Bad parenting blames disruptions on others. JUST DISCIPLINE YOUR DEVIL SPAWN - SO THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T HAVE TO." One speculates "I bet the parents are young up tight Jews." The level of vitriol seems completely out of proportion.
I was party to the original discussion on Park Slope Parents and while there were a few people who wished the ice-cream vendors could be banned, (in fact they aren't allowed inside the playground) it seemed more like their frustration talking.
There are things that every parent would, in the dark night of their souls, ban if they could. For me it's those wretched children's books with attached plastic panels that make noises. It doesn't mean I am incapable of telling my children to stop incessantly pressing the buttons (and mine) or that I am too pathetic to say 'no' to buying the book in the first place. It's more that it's just one more thing to deal with on an already overflowing plate.
The ice cream vendors add another dimension. Children instinctively understand that the stigma of having a child who is behaving horribly in public allows them to put their parents under tremendous pressure to give in. At a time when parental authority is considered suspect any attempt to enforce that authority whether it's with a raised voice or a smack on the butt will result in dirty looks and maybe even a visit from social services. Trying and failing to correct an errant child is even more humiliating. It's no wonder some parents want to avoid situations like these all together.
It's hard to tell whether these latest attacks on parents are simply a product of our incredibly intolerant times or whether, given our tendency to reduce all societies ills deficiencies of parenting, I suspect the latter.
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