You never should have let Stan talk you into this.
"Come on a treasure hunt with me," he said. "You might see a dragon," he said. "It will be fun," he said.
And now you are alone, tied up, blindfolded, and very possibly about to be fed to a dragon unless Stan returns the money the two of you stole.
How were you supposed to know there was a dragon cult in Gravity Falls? Sure, there was that Society of the Blind Eye that... well, you didn't know too much about them, but you knew to avoid them. And there was the doomsday cult that kept on changing the last day of the world to the next year... and honestly you wouldn't have been surprised if the Northwest family led some sort of secret society with weird rituals... but that was a lot for any small town, even Gravity Falls. So what were the odds there would be another cult? And that you would run afoul of them?
Well, OK, hanging out with Stan probably upped the odds for that.
But the whole point of dragon's treasure is that you were supposed to take it. Dragons take stuff, build their hoard, adventurers take it back, it was like the circle of life!
That sounds so stupid when you think about it now, but it made sense when it was coming out of Stan's mouth. He was so good at convincing you to do stupid stuff, what with his big grin and roguish glint in his eye...it always sounded like so much fun.
And it had been fun to use an ancient map, solve puzzles, and find a sleeping dragon on top of a hoard the size of a football field. The two of you only took enough to fill a pillowcase each- in and out, perfectly fine.
Until half a dozen green-hooded people barged into your house, knocked you out, tied you up, and demanded you return the treasure or else.
What was it with secret societies and hoods, anyway?
You are desperately trying to untie the ropes binding your hands, and don't let yourself think about what will happen beyond that. Because if you start to think about the next steps- that you have to slip by the members of the dragon cult (who you could hear chanting in the next room), find your way out of the cavern without a map, then find your way home... not to mention there would be nothing stopping them from kidnapping you again... you would have a full-blown panic attack.
And now was not the time to panic.
Then you hear a low voice coming closer to you, continuing the chant from the nearby room, and know they are coming for you.
Now was the perfect time to panic.
You thrash around in a last ditch effort to escape from the ropes-
"Yeesh, calm down kid," Stan's gravelly voice is in your ear, and you immediately freeze.
"Stan? Stan!" you cry softly, heart filling up with hope so quickly you feel lightheaded. "You came to rescue me!"
"'Course I did," he says, as hands you can't see make quick work of cutting through the rope binding your wrists. Then he snorts. "Like I was going to pay the ransom,"
You can't help but let out a little laugh yourself, the sound combining with a little sob of relief. As soon as your hands are free, you pull off the blindfold to see Stan in a green robe, hood thrown back, kneeling in front of you to cut the rope around your ankles. It's such a humble gesture that makes you completely nonplussed. "You could have just left me," you say in a flat voice.
"And give the overgrown worm and those idiots the satisfaction of winning? C'mon, toots, you know me better than that," he says, and he looks up at you with a grin as the rope falls onto the ground, making your heart skip a beat.
You leap up out of the chair and quickly bend over to help Stan up. "What now?" you ask. "Even if we get out of here, they're only going to come for us again..."
"Not if they think they've killed us," he says, and you start to laugh until he catches your eye.
"Oh my gosh you're serious," you say.
"I've done stuff like this before," he tells you a little proudly. "We just gotta sell it."
It turns out selling it involves a lot of explosions and finding a back way out of the cave before running all the way back to Stan's place at the edge of the forest... but somehow the two of you pull it off.
"I...I can't believe that happened!" you say, pacing around Stan's living room, laughing and hyped up on adrenaline. "You... you saved me from a dragon. From an actual dragon."
"Heh, yeah." he says proudly, then pauses. "'Course, I was kinda the one who got you into that mess,"
"But you got me out of it," you say, and look him in the eye. "And you didn't have to,"
"Aw c'mon, sweetheart, you know I couldn't live without you," he says, then squints his eyes closed and groans in embarrassment. "I mean... uh..."
"Stan," you breathe, eyes shining. "Really?"
"Don't read too much into it," he says grouchily. "In fact, you'd better get home. Rest up, or whatever. I'm gonna need you for the next adventure pretty soon."
But you have been around him long enough to know when he's sincerely angry and when he's just blustering, and you don't take offense at all. "OK," you say, then give him a kiss on the cheek. "For the brave knight," you say.
He rolls his eyes, "Oh c'mon, that's cheesy even for me," he says.
You shrug, and give him a wink, feeling giddy. "Thanks again, Stan," you say. "See you tomorrow?"
His face relaxes out of his scowl, and you think he looks slightly more pink than usual. "Yeah. See you tomorrow."
And you walk out the door, wondering what the next adventure will bring.
