#midwivery

[annetmahendru]

Supportive blog from real mothers talking about their labors in a birthing center

by Hayley Oakes: http://midwifemilktrails.tumblr.com/

[its-suanneschafer-author]

ICYMI BOOK REVIEW: #Midwives by Chris Bohjalian puts a woman’s right to choose where and how to birth her child up against the medical establishment.

BOOK REVIEW: Midwives by Chris Bohjalian

  As a physician, I enjoy reading books dealing with medical issues and/or medical ethics, especially if the author gets the “medical stuff”

[its-suanneschafer-author]

BOOK REVIEW: #Midwives by Chris Bohjalian puts a woman’s right to choose where and how to birth her child up against the medical establishment.

https://suanneschaferauthor.com/book-review-midwives/

[findingthingsagain]

18 months later

A year and a half into the new job and I've finally been reconised by a patient outside of work! It's always amazing how much they remember from the experience! I love meeting patients afterwards, just wish I remembered more about them.

[art2catch]

color sketch by J.J. 

(photo reference private)

[tbcmakeup]

Thanks for coming through to get your Makeup done Symone .... I did her 21st Makeup a few years ago and had chats with her about her studying to be a midwife .... So its nice to see her again and do her Makeup for her Graduation .... She wanted a Bold Brow and Eye Makeup and a Bold Lip 😍 .... Good Luck for Graduation Today 🎓 #beautiful #beauty #mua #makeupartist #makeupartistlife #makeup #nzmakeup #nzmakeupartist #aucklandmakeupartist #aucklandmakeup #cosmetics #brownbeauty #beautywithapurpose #pacificbeauty #brownbeauty #bridebookmakeupartist #bridebook #love #lovely #tbcmakeup #motd #nzmua #nzmakeup #aucklandmakeup #aucklandmua #melaninbeauty #grad #graduation #graduationmakeup #nzmidwife #midwife #midwivery #university (at The Black Cat - Make Up Artist Justin Konakova)

[rebirthofmothersoul]

ReBirth of the Mother Soul Pt 3

After six years of going no contact, and what I thought would be the last drama production, I was free!  I was living, loving, breathing, being on the earth and being human.  Then a force greater than myself would bring me back to the doorway of the womb through which I came - marking what is now a full circle.

All the goodness and sweetness that I know and enjoy, came to screeching halt soon after my son and I received that 'out of the blue' phone call.  What would be a short visit turned into care-taking moments that were soon rejected and feared for the emotions it steered.  Along always comes the drama of power play and control games, the lies and the deceptions, the demands and the tantrums,  the whole nine yards that my mother can go from 0 to 100 mph in 30 seconds. I know this production and I know it like the back of my hand, every detail, every step. It was a replay on her stage, a rebroadcast on her station. This woman knows how to demand and command attention, like a spoil brat that needs to have its way and always does. I know this! Which is why I stayed away for 6 straight, not long enough, years. To keep my sanity and my heart in a safe place.

For all my life, I knew that my mother was just not normal. I knew that there were two of her living in one. Maybe more. I knew the distorted, weak and fearful side she cleverly hid from the world and the mask she pulled off every single time she walked in the house and locked the front door.  I know the countless rage filled, brutal ass whipping and tongue lashing I've received that have left marks on my heart and soul. I saw the termites biting away inside of her and a kind of cancer eating away at her soul.  I saw how it was getting heavier and harder for her to carry and hold.  And I waited and waited for her to one day bulge, to simply crack, to let go and let the dam of tears burst and flow. But the waiting kept on waiting.  And the rage became a storm, while the storm became a tsunami.

At first there was my sister and I. She was my partner in the midst of this crime. But soon I lost her and I was betrayed by her when she began to display into the antics of my mother's politics.  That was a whole different emotional production, that for now, I'd rather not go into.  She went from my best friend to my secret enemy.  All the while, I didn't know there was a name, that these conditions, these family symptoms, these weird characters that were in the screenplay of my life where I felt out of place - had a description. Over time, they began to bully me. It became even more insane and obscene. So I learned how to keep a safe distance and live in silence with this dark, dark secret.

The Ouroboros is the animal symbol that has arrived to help me at this rebirthing time of my life. It came to me recently and I welcome its essence as it shows me deeper and greater understanding that is void of the ego, illusions and fears that come with being human and this entire experience.

This ancient animal and symbol depicts a snake swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity. This omen is an disambiguation that initiates the true liberation and flight of my soul. It promises to be a guide in this process as I maneuver through what is clearly, the dark night of my soul.

The snake becomes one with itself as it bites its own tail, slowly swallowing its own body. It has come full circle creating infinity within itself.  It has come to an end, it can no longer be in the earthly space, it needs more than the current life can bring. The old self no longer can live so it must devour itself to end the old cycle. I feel like the ouroboros.  I am presently in full loop of a mad and detrimental cycle, eating my own tail, devouring my old self. I now see through the illusion that was cast upon my life like a spell.  A spell that has controlled me all my life, creating a fog that brought more and more confusion and low visibility. The smoke is clearing now and I can see the truth. I am beginning to see that I am not who I thought I was, nor who I can ever be again.

I am coming out!  It is the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I have agonized, moped, doubted, fought, feared and questioned whether I can handle all this, and pondered what would happen if I refused this mission. I have tried to abandon this Mother wound healing project, and at times I have slipped back into the dark abyss.  I begin to slowly die again. But, as soon as I open up the project, I feel an awakening, the light begins to become bright.  I come regain consciousness and my heart begins to beat again.

The emotional triggers reopen sore spots that contain the pain. I know that I can not avoid the ripples and waves that this shall create. As I take on the journey of healing my mother wound,  I am stepping on the path where I meet euphoria, depression, bereavement, anger and all the dark emotional colors sprayed on the fabric of this mother wound flag.

I have already had two encounters that are examples of what I will face as I thread this forbidden terrain. As I ask people to take a trip with me back to our past of more than 30 years ago.  This is like riding slowly through a dark, shadowy and haunted house.   There are feelings of suspense mixed with thrill and fright - you just don’t know what is lurking around the corner or what may jump out of the closet. This is the real boogeyman deal!!

The fact that I already come from a culture that relishes secrets and is deeply narcissistic in nature, makes this an even more complex task. Being a first generational daughter of Africa, I and other daughters of her rainbow tribe, face the intersectional paradigm derived from our historical past, cultural patterns, gender, race, ethnicity, class, socio-economic status, religion, sexual disparities and more. I want to hear their stories, I want to share their truths.

Coming from a culture and a home where folks are hell bent on making impressions, keeping up appearances and a facade at all costs, creates more barriers to the truth. And the truth is I inherited some of that junk. Now I have to break down my own barriers and take off my mask.

Yet, again, the Ouroboros reminds me that this is a sacrifice for the rebirth that needs to take place.  It is helping me understand that my ‘coming out’ is a means for going deeper and farther within. Coming out is a sacrifice I am willing to make for the rebirth of the Mother Soul - for mine, yours and the collective.

I was once on a path of serving and playing a part using my voice to dialogue, debate, share, receive and disburse information, knowledge and wisdom that empowers. But I lost it after I had a bump along the road and found it difficult to reemerge. Swallowed and devoured by the cold, dark shadow mother that lived within me, my voice became frozen within her grip.  She had never left me. She still never wants to see me happy.  Emotional  shock! A halt! I went down. But when you hit the ground, there is no where to go but up!

Today, I now stand knowing that my voice is reawakening and that this time it has a different tone and a new (but old) focus. All events and occurrences, pursuits and interests have always aligned with where I am today and what I am here to do before making my exit.

I have suffered great, inexplicable emotional loss, along with so many other daughters (now mothers) who can not speak up through their tongues but who speak up through the patterns of their failed relationships, the endless and tiring self-help, the fix-me and pick-me-up journey, the new age workshop junky trends and the the sabotaging of their dreams. This Mother wound is deep and only I (you) and (I (you) alone can begin to fix what is broken, so that the collective healing can take place.  Just recognizing and admitting this is a profound new start in itself.

All my creation and services (Green Womb Living) carry the theme of ‘the MOTHER’! And over the last two decades I have done deep and hard work on my whole self - mind, body, heart and soul and have helped many, many others. Yet, there is still more work to do. It's never over.

What was once a emotional molehill inside of me slowly overtime became an emotional mountain I must now dissolve.  The Mother wound is as deep as our wounds and is a mystery to behold. The scars are real and the pain is loud.

It is worthy and wise to explore the deeply rooted childhood issues carry on into adulthood. They do not magically go away, if we don't. They become ghosts of our past that haunt our present. And like unhappy and unfilled ghosts, they remain stuck in between worlds unable to move onward and to the other side. This cripples the growth of our spirits, and  tampers the happiness and well being of future generations to come.

The mental and emotional  pain from the relationship with our narcissistic mothers are trapped within us influencing our lives and stirring up events, people and opportunities to help us work through them. Most times we are too blind and unwilling to recognize them. Or too numbed, toxic, high or drunk. And to heavily influenced by the lies of the patriarchal makings. Until we do, we  shall continue to find ourselves in the quicksands of our unresolved patterns and problems that have roots in the foundations of our very first relationship(s). And this itself is a matter of life and re-birth.

I am coming out…. because I know that there are thousands -if not millions of daughters - particularly women of color, daughters of African descent, daughters of the rainbow tribe from all across the globe and the waters...... harboring this same secret. Daughters in need of empathy and compassion, who wish someone would hear their cry or listen to their story. There are daughters of narcissistic, mentally ill mothers who are trapped in a cycle of shame and guilt, madness and destruction with their own mothers as the enemies. There are daughters who are depressed, sick, angry, locked down, unable to leave, lifeless and afraid because they fear for their lives.

There are professional daughters, married daughters with all the symbols and status of success who are empty, lonely, and broken inside because they have not been able to come out and speak out about their life with a narcissistic mother. Too petrified, feeling alone and isolated some take on the traits of their narcissistic mother and pass it along to their daughters/sons and the dark mother madness keeps spiraling, destroying generations and prolonging the destructive cycle of the divine feminine.

Other daughters are stuck in defeating relationship patterns that mirror their own relationship with their narcissistic mother; while some secretly abuse and take out their rage on their own children as they wave the badge of the mother to cover up their inner mother darkness.

There is no coincidence that the maternal profession is a growing phenomenon.  More and more women now want to birth the natural way, while wounded daughters want to serve away their pain through the role of a Doula.  Women (through pregnancy) crave the awakening and empowerment through the mystery of the birthing process.  The growing field of yoga teachers and the regeneration of midwives. These signs posts are all visible! The rebirth of the Mother Soul is in effect. I see a trend, a powerful movement emerging from the dark.

We will fully awaken only and only when we recognize, acknowledge and respect the power of the Dark Mother! The myth of the Mother Love must be shattered.

As Peggy Streep offers in her book, Mean Mothers. “Mother love is a sacred concept in our culture, and like all things sacred it has a mythology of its own. There is no room in our contemporary ideal (around the Mother) for ambivalence or emotional discomfort; our insistence on the breadth and depth of absolute mother love is itself absolute. The VIEW we have of “mother love” is narrow, while the depths & experience of pain and suffering around the same is so deep that we can see its manifestation throughout society and our world today!

I am OUT! I am out to be a light! I am out to be a source of awareness, I am out to help redefine and integrate both the Light & the Dark Mother. I am Out to serve the truth and to serve the  new Divine Feminine. I am out to help spearhead the much needed healing of the Mother Wound.  To facilitate the transcendence and blossoming of the Mother Womb Heart.   And I call this process..….*****the ReBirth of the Mother Soul!** ***