over the past few months, i have met new people, gained a lot of genuine and meaningful connections… something i didn’t know i’m capable of doing until i’m finally doing it subconsciously by letting life takes me wherever it wants. it feels like i’m facing the old shell i used to live in. i came out of it one day, starts roaming around until i finally came back and had to face it again. there it is. i was there for a very long time until someone reached out a hand and take me away from this shell to show me that there’s so much more than i’ve yet to see in this world. and to be completely honest, I AM SCARED. i feel very alone somehow. it’s like i’m a kid again, trying to learn something new. to have people who actually care enough to reassure me that i’m not alone, that’s new. it’s been easier for me to accept a situation where i’m being left alone than to have someone who’d actually be there for me. because most of my life i’ve been constantly told and being shown that i will always end up alone that, at some points, i ended up believing it. i’ve made peace with it, even.
but lately, life has been proving me wrong about that and i’m starting to think that it’s important for me to get used to it.